Shohane Posted March 11, 2013 Share Posted March 11, 2013 What do you think / How do you feel when the people you consider "friends" do that? Lately I've told a friend (who's a high-achiever) how I had failed academically (and am still trying to get back up). He wanted to know what/how I was doing; from how he asked it sounded like he wanted to know in details, and he told a friend of mine that he wanted to know about my past. We are friends, just not very close. Much to my surprise, he started treating me differently, being cold and said things that implied people should live with not being accepted for who they are or what they have become... and things that implied he had had great expectations of me but somehow I "disappointed" him... I'm sad. I think I understand where he came from: He's attracted to success, and he had high expectations of me so I kinda dropped the bomb this time. This question just popped up in my head: If you know by now that someone isn't a good/true friend, does it make any difference WHEN you should open up to him more? Would he behave any differently now vs. then? What I mean is, if a person is judging you now, how can you tell he's not going to, let's say, some months or years down the road? Have you had issues with over-sharing and people distancing themselves as a result? How do you know when to stop before its too late? Is there hope of repairing such a situation? Are there some things you should never share? Link to post Share on other sites
The Outlaw Posted March 13, 2013 Share Posted March 13, 2013 I think that if they're supportive of whatever success you've had, and don't act differently even if you haven't achieved what you want, then you don't have to worry about anything. But then again, I'm not entirely sure there would be too many if any signs. And any friend, close or not wouldn't treat you any differently nor should they even if you haven't been successful- Link to post Share on other sites
pink_sugar Posted March 15, 2013 Share Posted March 15, 2013 I have and have had friends who've gotten snotty and stuck-up because of their success and only want to hang out with others just like them. Even if I make much more than my friends someday, I do not judge any of them by their success. What is important is how they treat me and what we have in common. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted March 15, 2013 Share Posted March 15, 2013 What do you think / How do you feel when the people you consider "friends" do that? Lately I've told a friend (who's a high-achiever) how I had failed academically (and am still trying to get back up). He wanted to know what/how I was doing; from how he asked it sounded like he wanted to know in details, and he told a friend of mine that he wanted to know about my past. We are friends, just not very close. Much to my surprise, he started treating me differently, being cold and said things that implied people should live with not being accepted for who they are or what they have become... and things that implied he had had great expectations of me but somehow I "disappointed" him... I'm sad. I think I understand where he came from: He's attracted to success, and he had high expectations of me so I kinda dropped the bomb this time. This question just popped up in my head: If you know by now that someone isn't a good/true friend, does it make any difference WHEN you should open up to him more? Would he behave any differently now vs. then? What I mean is, if a person is judging you now, how can you tell he's not going to, let's say, some months or years down the road? Have you had issues with over-sharing and people distancing themselves as a result? How do you know when to stop before its too late? Is there hope of repairing such a situation? Are there some things you should never share? as an over achiever i respect and admire people who can be happy with what success or failures they have and move on and nto go ocd........i dont judge anyone..it sucks to judge others......deb Link to post Share on other sites
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