Positivelyhappy88 Posted February 22, 2013 Share Posted February 22, 2013 I have cut ties with my family because of abuse and only have one girl whom I consider a friend and my sister has her on her insurance. I am not great at making friends because I have social anxiety. I am a very quiet private person and being social makes me so uncomfortable that I can't think straight I am horrible at meeting new ppl and making friends cuz I'm so awkward . Most people assume that I am being rude or think I am better than them and that's not the case I'm just quiet and freaking out. The anxiety has worsened since I cut ties with my family and now Ive become paranoid about them trying to find me. So paranoid that i deleted her as a friend on FB. My issue is I am stressing out about meeting with her to catch up because we haven't seen each other since I moved. We've texted only a couple times And the first time she texted me my mom texted n called me immediately after. I told her the situation and asked her not to give anyone in my family info about me if anyone reached out to her. She agreed but i fear that she may be trying to set me up. We are set to meet on Monday the anxiety is telling me to just cut her out too and not have to worry about it but as far as I know she's done nothing wrong to me. I'm her sons godmother and haven't been around these first 3 years because of all the issues with my family and shes made new friends maybe me disappearing from her life wont be a big deal i really want to lose this friendship but I also don't want my family to have a way to manipulate themselves into my life again. Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 See a doctor? There are terrific meds out there today that are completely transparent--they don't make you feel any presence of medication in your perceptions but work very subtly to get your chemical systems more aligned so that you don't feel the flood of anxiety. I consider my medication just another vitamin. I take Prozac--for a long time now--and one of the benefits is that I don't blush and have rather unlimited balls to go pretty much everywhere. A year or two after starting I became a free-lance journalist in the UN/NGO community in NY and was granted credentials to get into most UN functions. I got the feeling that no one was minding the store and there was nothing and no one to be intimidated by. Years before that I was much more closed up and resigned to being on the outskirts of things. Medication is not what it used to be in the mid 20th Century where they gave you a sedative. The newer meds are like a pair of eyeglasses for the mind and emotions so that you can choose your feelings and their proportions rather than just enduring them. And that can be your key to a whole new life where you are actually better tuned than many people you meet. Just sayin'. Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 I like to believe that people have honest intentions (unless proven otherwise) so I would meet up with her. I would make sure the meeting was in a public place and that if this was some sort of "set up" situation, I would immediately walk out and never look back. And I would make sure she understands my family situation and that I never want anything to do with them again, and if she disrespected that in any way, I'd walk away from that friendship and never look back. I too have a little bit of social anxiety at times, so I know that it's much easier to make excuses to not do something. I can make up excuses all day long. But it's pretty rewarding when I get over myself and put myself out there in social situations. I actually end up having a nice time, and am reminded that people actually care about me and that maybe they had a nice time, too. Give it a shot, OP. Get out of your comfort zone for a minute. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ladybugz Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 get help read self help books. take little steps in having contact with your sister, if meeting is to much for now do what you feel better with. like email or something. i think you are social as humans are. so you want that and need that to. but your issues with your family and the abuse issues makes you go more into yourself then trusting people etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Ladybugz Posted February 23, 2013 Share Posted February 23, 2013 take little steps , work on your issues go to classes that can help your self esteeem which is what abuse often break 2: your self esteem. Link to post Share on other sites
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