Friends Who Hold You Back & Those Who Raise You Up

[RemiHoney]

My friends are like apples and oranges.

 

The apples are one group, the oranges another. If I wanted to I can bring them together and we could have a great time. But I know my oranges and I definitely know my apples, ultimately they're two different groups. My apples are extremely sociable but make themselves victims to drama on a daily basis. As part apple I can attest to this; we've been together since our college years and our history is a rich one with many twists and turns. Not surprisingly I find myself drifting away from them and changing gears to the oranges.

 

Now, the oranges...they're my other half. Out of the oranges, one has become like a brother to me, a surprise I never thought could happen. They're the kind of oranges you always wish to meet: adventurous, intelligent, non-conforming, well-traveled individuals who will introduce you to the side of life you thought you'd have to wait years for. My oranges bring a sense of culture and deepness that my apples now lack. Unlike my apples, my oranges have an open and ridicule-free approach to spirituality and people that my apples wouldn't know what to do with if the mere topic came up. The oranges came into my life with a bang and at first I didn't know what I was getting myself into and now I can't ever imagine turning back. Ever.

 

It doesn't make me feel bad (or great) to say this but in a way, my apples have not always been best for me, in fact I feel like equating it to small talk, I can't stand small talk. My apples talk behind each other's backs, that's just rotten. It felt like a string was cut between myself and two of my apples when they openly insulted another apple for choosing to believe in something spiritual, no matter how small it was, it wasn't like she was doing something highly dramatic. It was something about making a dream board and visualizing your potential, was that so bad? How low of them, it disappointed me and it made me feel sorry for them.

 

I've been ignoring my apples lately, they've taken notice and are probably not too happy about it. My oranges, well, honestly I haven't been in contact with them either but here's a significant difference: My oranges are like my one and only pomegranate (My best friend since birth, nearly 4,000 miles away, my fashionable twin ^_~), it can be weeks and even months of no chatter and suddenly there's life to be had and we pick up, it's a natural effect between us.

 

It's funny, actually. I've known the oranges for less time and have this chemistry with them that my apples (whom I've had more time with) severely lack. Ultimately, this is why my friends won't mix, it's a matter of mainstream thought, ridicule and who has the better job VS. individual growth, questioning life as we know it and realizing the massive potential this world has at our present state.

 

I know I'm not the only one who goes through this but I have to admit I'm finding it difficult to be with my apples more and more. Not yet sure what the plan of action should be, maybe someone here will lend some help.

Edited February 7, 2013 by RemiHoney

[NormalChaos]

To me this sounds that you as a person changed, and so did your expectations to your environment. So naturally, you now prefer company that matches your new self.

 

Actually, a couple of hours ago, I turned down an invitation of my own apples for a night out with them. The reason for this is, that I don't feel the connection being there that used to exist some years ago. While I would not necessarily say that they did not develop any further (in some sense this is true though - they always go to the same bars/clubs, hardly try anything new, stick to their daily routines), we definitely diverged in our development.

 

There is only one person I have regular contact with from my apples, someone whom I am very good friends with (and have always been). Communication to the other apples got less and less over the past two years - from my part. Yet I still get invited, but they seem to respect that I am not that motivated anymore to hang out with them.

 

As was mentioned in another thread I responded to within the last week, there are actually many people that have two or more circles of friends, that sometimes are completely separated. Ain't that an option? To keep both, interact only moderately with the apples without completely ignoring them?

[RemiHoney]

Sorry for the late reply, things have been hectic with weather here.

 

I think it's a good idea to remain friends with them. It just always raises a concern out of me when I see my apples and nothing ever changes. I guess my feelings for them have been mixed.

 

But when I finally decide to meet up with them and show them the kind of person I've become (because frankly I don't feel like I'm the same person I was last year, it's like 360) I'll be taking notes on their reactions.