++I'm starting to fall for my close friend

[Beachead]

I'm going to try and keep this short.

 

I think I'm starting to fall for one of my closest female friends.

 

We used to be really awkward around one another and talk mostly online but ever since she went off to europe last year for school, we've grown considerably closer.

 

She's said a few things like "what would I do without you" and "You never judge me" and "I can be myself with you" during her tough times and recently we've been playfighting a lot and she's done things like pull my hair and punch me and stuff like that. We weren't always so touchy like that so this is new to me.

 

We were at this party and one of our friends had asked her a question in front of everyone regarding me..something like "why do you always bug him" and she responded with.."Because I love him" ..i heard it but I was so shocked that she would openly say that. She was not like that with me a long time ago.

 

I've known her for about 4 years now and I can say our friendship has steadily become stronger. Last year she went off to Europe to study for school and the weird thing is, we became even closer. We started skyping quite often. Somedays when her roomate was gone, we'd just vid skype for a couple of hours. We have a very strong friendship where tell eachother quite a lot. Mainly it's her who pours to me but when I need her, she's there. She makes sure I don't drink too much at a party so I can drive home or she would do things like limit her texts with me because she knows I got limited outgoing texts and my bill would go over and would find another way to compensate. Just little things like that..she's always concerned bout me, and I can tell she cares.

 

Sometimes I feel like she likes me but is afraid to ruin our friendship. I dated one of her friends a few years ago so this may be a huge factor. Also our friends are mutual.

 

I feel like, she thinks of me more like a brother than a potential bf. I know the concept of a friendzone an it's implications which is why I've been putting off telling her how I feel for the past year. I really want her to know though..I'm afraid though

 

Please..any help would be nice.

Edited July 11, 2012 by Beachead

[NateC]

This is why it's hard to have friends of the opposite sex - it's really, really hard to separate the signals of being friends or being "more" than that.

 

From experience, I can say that you have a strong enough friendship that you can just say how you feel. Maybe try to do something together without all the friends around. Just tell her in person!

[Beachead]

Yea, I totally agree man.

 

I can't read this girl at all.

 

She's showing so many signs that are positive right now, but then there's this one negative..she's never willing to meet up with just me. She likes it in a group setting, and when we do it like that, she then talks to me. I mean I guess it makes sense, I'm friends with her friends so why not? But still..my gutt is telling me "redflag, do not proceed."

 

But then I think, well, we've had like many long skype conversations when she was back in Europe so that means she's comfortable just talking to me one on one. So, I don't really get why she'd be scared to try it alone with me. That's when I think, maybe she's thinking if she does do this, we'd be dating and that'd scare her.

 

I know in the past, if she really wanted to, she would go out alone with a guys and date them. Even though I'm one of her closest male friends, she has not given me that chance. That's what kept me from making my move. That and the fact that I kept thinking about my ex and hurting her.

 

There's no way she couldn't feel anything judging by the way she's acting, but I also know feeling something and actually acting on it are 2 different things. One doesn't lead to the other necessarily.

 

You see what I mean? It's all guess work. It's exhausting. In the past I have been able to put these thoughts down and be a friend. But lately, I've been thinking, what if she meets someone again..this may very well be the last time I may be able to legitimately tell her.

 

Any thoughts?