ilikesunita Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 It seems that with humans having cliques, and people being turned off by neediness/desperation, in addition to people not owning others friendship, is the entire process largely centred on luck? Link to post Share on other sites
0hpenelope Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I think luck's got something to do with it too, but I'm not sure how much of it. I've befriended people who eventually became not-so-good to have as friends any longer, so I just stop answering their communication with me. I can shoulder their resentment if they resent me for the rest of their lives, but I'd rather just not talk to them anymore and encourage the friendship. Other friendships have dwindled down to friendships of "convenience" where we talk of things that aren't substantial anymore. Those are harder to let go of because I remember the bond we had and I wonder where all of that went. I think friendship is about luck, working on it (but people don't think about it as such), and being able to roll with the changes. Because relationships with people do change. I have to know when to stay and when to let go and when I let go, I have no regrets. What do you mean by luck? The kind of people whose friendships you attract? Did you lose a few good friends recently? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilikesunita Posted August 9, 2011 Author Share Posted August 9, 2011 It seems like luck because of how society says that friendships are formed and made, and the basics of human interaction. Link to post Share on other sites
Dorie Posted August 9, 2011 Share Posted August 9, 2011 I don't quite get you. Desperation and neediness are controllable actions. Luck is outside the boundaries of control. Link to post Share on other sites
0hpenelope Posted August 11, 2011 Share Posted August 11, 2011 It seems like luck because of how society says that friendships are formed and made, and the basics of human interaction. It's not really "luck" when you form friendships. I do believe that every stranger I interact with has a potential of becoming my friend, but I won't pursue every single person that I walk past in a mall or a restaurant. There's an attraction there too and I'm not talking about the "Whoa, he's cute/she's gorgeous!" type of attraction. I'm willing to bet that in this board, a user's experiences with friendships start from school and the attraction there is, the user shares common interests w/ classmates. For myself, the friendships that dwindled away when I was younger is because I found classmates that I felt more comfortable talking to and approaching rather than the others. That's not luck: that's familiarity, level of comfort, and being drawn to that friend. I enjoy listening to younger people's conversations, for instance, because they get so animated about Disney characters or the Disney Channel or Justin Bieber and to me, they're practicing how to connect with people. At that stage, it's mainly innocent and fun. Along the same vein as "luck," I don't quite understand it when I hear others claim that something is "fate" or what-have-you. I have family members who like to say that something "isn't meant to be." But if that's how they interpret the harmony of timing, maturity, and attraction to someone healthy (which means that I'm healthy in mind and spirit), then sure I can understand their use of "fate" in circumstances. My mom has expressed that I'm very lucky when it comes to my choice of friends. But that's because she hasn't heard of some that I've had to let go of - in which case, she might think that befriending those people was quite unfortunate for me. Not sure if good friendships have to do with luck more than picking people who are good for me, who love me in spite of my flaws and uglies, and learning from my mistakes from friendships that are now broken. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ilikesunita Posted August 11, 2011 Author Share Posted August 11, 2011 never mind, I don't care again. Link to post Share on other sites
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