Cosmo Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Hi all, Let's say you have some friends and one day you show them that you are good at something (for example repairing car), from that day on, they only call you when they need you to repair their cars and they even recommand you to other people you don't know well to go see you to have their car repaired How would you feel ? would you still consider them as your friends ? Personaly i've been in that situation from last year on, i stopped every contact with them because i was fed up with them seeing me as the expert for mechanical problems, i even told them i'm no more interested to repair things but some of them insisted in a manipulative way ("ohh you remember i've invited you to this trip and so and so...") so i stopped every contact with them for 6 months. This week i saw one of them, and he was nice and asked me why i changed my #, because he tried to contact me several times... i told him some fake story. Link to post Share on other sites
Ross MwcFan Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Nope, I totally wouldn't consider them as friends. Link to post Share on other sites
LShasleftmeindespair Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 If the only thing a friend does is use you for a skill, your wealth, your status, your beauty, etc. then they aren't a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
cerridwen Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 I would feel manipulated and used. Those aren't the feelings friends give you. Happy you recognized their true colors. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted June 5, 2011 Share Posted June 5, 2011 Those are Hoovers. And, like the vacuum cleaner, they suck. 'nuf said Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cosmo Posted June 5, 2011 Author Share Posted June 5, 2011 The difficult thing is that i live in the same little city, so i'll probably see them and have to ignore them. @carhill: it's exacly what i feel after hanging out with them, i feel emptied and used. Toxic people. I think i made a mistake by being toooo nice at the beginning because when i gave in, it didn't stop, it became something common... The constant phoning when they NEED me was also so disappointing especially harassing phone calls from one guy every time he absolutely needed my help to avoid paying. How do you help friends when they need you but at the same time avoid becoming "the specialist" ? Do you sometimes refuse to help (even if you could do it without a problem) ? I'm definitly done with those guys but i'd like to avoid to put myself in that kind of situation in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Ouroboros Posted June 6, 2011 Share Posted June 6, 2011 You don't need to mention it at all. Link to post Share on other sites
iris219 Posted June 7, 2011 Share Posted June 7, 2011 Why don't you charge them for the work you do? It's ridiculous for them to assume you'd do it for free. Do they really think this or do they expect you to quote them a price? I mean you could give them a better deal than a repair shop, but make it clear that you repair cars on the side for a little extra money. This way they will either stop asking you or you will make some extra cash. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts