Why should I apologise...??

[Lipsy10]

I am soo sick of single friends moaning about how couples/married people are always dropping them or don't have any interest in spending time with them once they have a man/woman. While its true that in the honey moon stage of a relationship most couples only have eyes for each other this doesn' last forever, but other responsibilities creep in.

 

I am with my partner 6 years and we have 2 children. My single friends just don't get the responsibilities I have. They call at the last minute expecting me to go shopping/clubbing/hang out and when I can't because I haven't got a babysitter they get angry with me. "Why can't your mother take them?" Well because my mother has a life of her own! She's not gonna drop everything and come running everytime I call.

 

And no I don't go out for drinks everyweek. Why?? Well for a start I can't afford it. Kids aren't cheap neither is the mortgage, gas, electricity, food, school supplies, toys, clothes,shoes..... I could go on forever. It's so nice to be single with lots of disposable income but for me those day's are gone. Also It wouldn't be fair to my partner if I went out every weekend with the girls and left him sitting at home on his own - and vise versa. When your in a relationship you have to compromise and think of the other person too. Single people choose to see this as a negitive - "your letting him control you..." And even though I live with my man I don't actually spend that much quality time with him. Between work and the kids most nights we just slob out infront of the tv, so its nice to get out as a couple when we have the energy/can afford it.

 

I've also noticed as time goes on I have less and less in common with my single friends. I listen with interest about their lives but when I talk about my life their eyes glaze over. I understand potty training and play dates are boring to people without children but I spend all day with my children so of course I'm going to talk about them just like you talk about what happened that day at work. Not that I only ever talk about the kiddies but they're gonna come up from time to time. Fake interest for those 10 - 15 mins.

 

I find lately I would rather spend time with other coupled friends simply because we have more in commen. They don't call me boring when I can't get off my face drunk because the kids will have me up at 6 and its just not worth the hang-over. They don't get angry when I have to cancel plans at the last minute because one of the kids is sick or the babysitter let me down. They don't see my man as the enemy who hates to see me have a good time! They don't make me feel guilty when I don't get to see them every week because they have the same problems.

 

When your young, free and single you can do what you want when you want. You number one on your list and thats great. BUT when you find the right partner and have children you drop right down to the bottom of the list. My time is not my own any more. I have responsibilities and yes unfortunately I don't get to see my friends (single or coupled) as much as I'd like. But it would be a whole lot easier if you got that chip of your shoulder and tried to see things from my point of view.

 

My life has changed.

My priorities have changed.

I'm in a relationship.

I have children.

Why should I apologise for that..

 

end rant

[ADF]

Next time time one of your single friends asks for an apology, show him or her what you wrote. I think you said it very well.