purple_moon978 Posted February 21, 2003 Share Posted February 21, 2003 When I first met this guy, he told me that he wasn't sure that he wanted to date me even though he admitted he had sexual thoughts about me. I have no problem being a friend. For the most part I've stopped thinking about him sexually, but I just wonder what goes through his mind when I'm with him. We spend almost every other day together, he usually pays for the food. Everytime we're at a restaurant, he stares at me for a long time and smiles, which makes me nervous. I ask him what he's thinking and he tells me that it's a secret. One time he asked me to spend the night, and he totally wrapped himself around me like I was a body pillow. Occasionally he will poke me in the stomach or tap me on the leg, or some kind of physical contact. Or if we're in public and I'm doing something, minding my own business, he'll walk up right behind me so close, I'll accidently fall on him. I'm already in the mind set to be his friend, but I've never had a male friend act like that before. He even asked what my birthday was so he can get me a gift. I noticed he's opening up a lot more now. This has been going on for 2 months since he told me that he wasn't sure he wanted to date me. Now, what I'm trying to figure out is if he is actually changing his mind about dating or what? I expect nothing from him, so when he does something, it confuses me. thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted February 21, 2003 Share Posted February 21, 2003 It confused me too. And he's probably confused. There are many things that may cause his behavior. He may have been deeply hurt in the past and chooses the move slowly....he may move slowly by nature...he may want to date you but is anxious about that for some reason... He seems to spend more time with you than many guys do with their girlfriends. He obviously is very fond of you. Maybe he is very inexperienced about sex so wants to keep that element out of the mix. Who knows? If he won't tell you what the deal is, I would say not to take anything he says or does seriously and not to let yourself worry about it. Don't get sucked into his machinations and proceed to find romance somewhere else. If he doesn't have serious problems and is very fond of you, he'll make a move immediately when he finds out you are dating other people. But my strong recommendation is that you do start seeing MEN who know what they want and know what they're doing. All you have here is a buddy...and one who is confusing and annoying. That's something you don't need unless you're into situations that make your life less than balanced. Link to post Share on other sites
Author purple_moon978 Posted February 21, 2003 Author Share Posted February 21, 2003 Thanks for the advice. Since I've been back home after the military, he's the only thing that keeps me from going insane from my parents until I get a job. If anything, I use him as my mental santuary when I have nowhere else to go. He doesn't mind. Link to post Share on other sites
kikidee Posted February 21, 2003 Share Posted February 21, 2003 I agree. It does sound like he's confused. Sounds like he wants more, but he's scared to go through with it. So continue to be a friend and don't expect more from him. And if anything he does make you feel uncomfortable (out of the friendship hemisphere and into the something more hemisphere), let him know, since you've both agree to only be friends. If something more comes out of it, wait for him to tell you verbally. Link to post Share on other sites
Author purple_moon978 Posted February 22, 2003 Author Share Posted February 22, 2003 That's what I've been doing. Just playing it safe and waiting to see if he says anything. Link to post Share on other sites
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