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Having a friend as a Roommate Will Ruin The Friendship


lifeasiknowit

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lifeasiknowit

This is what I've learned.

 

I don't know about all the rest of you, but how common is it for this to happen? Why is it so hard to stay friends with someone after living with them for a long period? Is it just me?

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Don't know. I lived with my best friend all 4 years of college and nothing ever happened. Everybody said it was the wrong thing to do, and well, everyone was wrong. We're still close friends to this day.

 

It all comes down to respect. Respect them and they'll respect you. If I had a problem I went to him, if he had a problem he came to me. We resolved it and went on with our lives.

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I lived with one of my best friends my sophomore year of college. We're still great friends to this day. I can't even think of a case where it drives friends apart; and people say that's what usually happens.

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lifeasiknowit

Well, I guess it has to do with how close you are to begin with before moving in together. Before living together we mostly knew each other through a common friend, and so we were somewhere in between being friends and acquaintances.

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What happened? Was it something petty or could you just genuinely not live with this other person?

 

Sometimes you can't live with a best friend, it happens. It happens in relationships too. You date someone for 10 years, move in with them and realize certain things about them that drive you nuts.

 

In the end it all comes down to communication and respect. If you let the little things get to you and hold them in. Eventually they'll blow up and you'll get into heated fights over something extremely petty. Not everyone lives the same way and has the same habits, triggers, etc.

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lifeasiknowit

It was over something petty, involving our contributions to household duties such as cleaning. I had always felt that I did my share, but my roommate apparently thought differently, so we started a recording system where each would mark down who did what and when, but it just led up to a build up of resentment.

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LovieDove24

Well this is one of those things like "Don't lend friends or family money" it just depends on how much integrity and respect are in the relationship. If you really respect the person youre lending money from, you will not want to hurt them. Similarily, if you really respect your best friend whom you're living with you will not let the little things get to you and will put in your fair share of contributions (money, chores, shoveling duties) to keep the ship sailing smoothly. Anything short of that and you simply don't respect one another.

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It didn't ruin the friendship, but I think me and my friend knew in our mind that we can't live together. This was back in college by the way, living on college campus.

 

With one friend, our living pattern was different. Our sleeping ours were different. We shared similar hobbies, but it was limited. With the other friend, it wasn't much about living patterns, but we were both in almost the same class since we were in the same major, and we both faced a really tough time academically and also personally. And I think that just got to both of us, so the following semester, we ended up not rooming together.

 

Still friends with both of them though, but haven't really kept in touch often since I moved out of the city.

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