lonelyone Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Hi everyone, There is a man I know who is married, and is so nice, a real gentleman. He puts his arm around me sometimes, but never in an inappropiate way. He is devoted to his wife, and I feel honored that he considers me his friend. I am moving to take a job in the city. The job I have here is okay too; the main reason I'm moving is to be closer to family, plus I "function better" in the city. But I'm doubting whether I should leave this man. In all the 38 years I've lived, I've never met such a gentleman, and although I have absolutely no intention of acting on my feelings for him, I just love being around him. To even be in the same room as him is so nice, and I wonder if it would be worth it to remain in this town, even is it would be only to continue being friends with him. Anyone and their dog would probably tell me not to stay somewhere if the only reason is to nurture a platonic friendship with a married man. Such a friendship is a wonderful thing - don't get me wrong. But is it a reason to pass up a job promotion in the city? Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 But is it a reason to pass up a job promotion in the city? No. A promotion will get you further in life, closer to paying off bills you may have, new connections and networking, chances to meet new friends, fall in love, etc. You won't have any of that if you stay and nurture this cancer of a crush you have. It will eat your soul, hollow out your heart, and burn you down to nothing. It feels good now, but so does holding your hands to a nice hot fire. The longer you hold them there, though... Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 There is no reason why you can't move and keep him as a friend. Are you sure you don't have romantic feelings for him? If he wasn't married would you want to be dating him? Link to post Share on other sites
steveraves Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 I believe you should take the promotion. Being friends with him may be nice, but like you said it's not going to go anywhere, and it certainly won't get you further in life. You have the opportunity to better yourself, and be in a place where you function better. Take the promotion. Link to post Share on other sites
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