xllx1978xllx Posted September 1, 2007 Share Posted September 1, 2007 Hi all I am new to the forum My name is Marissa and Im from west virginia. I'm 29 years old and he's 35 years old. We basically met in a chat room and at the same time he met his ex whom screwed him up and messed up his feelings and now has a 3 year old son by her. We been friends 8 years and finally caught up since like weeks ago. We both know what each other looks like, we talk all day all night on here, and he's even called me before. He has thought about coming over to meet me and to get away from the house, he had all his teeth takin out and I am getting ready to get mine out. We have alot of stuff in common. He has one brother and one sister and I the same. He's the baby of the family and I'm the baby of the family. When your mad and stuff he doesnt want to be botherd, and gets aggravated, I'm the same way. He loves to pick and I'm the same way. Theres only one problem. I can't understand stuff because of my hearing and I get intense all the time and I'm scared to lose our friendship. He came over to meet me, We were really excited both nervous. He didn't care to play games like poker, Rhummy, etc...He didnt care to take me around and show him around town and go up around where I was raised at, no matter where we went, he didnt care about the miles or the gas. He liked it up here and plans to come back again. My problem is that I want a relationship well I kinda do but Im tired of being hurt by guys cause they say I'm too far away. He doesn't want a relationship and just wants a friendship, confusing I know. We went to the lake after we came back from the movies, he didnt care to go, so we went over to see if there was any stars out. I seen one he seen 2. As always the theater was cold and the lake was cold, we were talking and I started crying and he held me and he doesnt want our friendship to end. I want to save it but scared it will die. Hes my best friend and I will do anything in the world for him. But feel Im always screwing something up. I don't want to screw anything up anymore. How can I save this? I understand to be paitence with him and to not push it, but it has to be more. Does he like me? Some of my friends says he does, but he won't admit it. Im confused bc I have never had anyone that wants to be my friend but yet feels like were best friends. Can someone help? Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 Dont' worry about screwing up, if you keep that up you would not be yourself. If he wants just a friendship, just keep it at that; dont' let him cross the line. A friendship will change no matter what, it can evolve to a romantic relationship or just wither away. It is a chance that one has to take. 29 and 35 is not that bad but he should know what he wants in life. If one side of the relationship, you, has the hots for the other; then you are pinning your hopes on him. He might turn around and go for it but most likely the relationship would not change. Link to post Share on other sites
Yamaha Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 A good friendship is a very valuable thing and I can understand you not wanting to mess it up but at the same time if you would like to move to the next level then you are going to have to take a risk and see if he responds. For now I would enjoy the friendship but keep giving him subtle hints that you like him and want more. Guys can move from friendship to romance ( unlike most women ) so there is hope for your desires. Continue to get as close to him, emotionally, as you can and if the timing is right he might just look at you one day and say, "wow. You really are an awesome person and I would like to start dating you". Link to post Share on other sites
Author xllx1978xllx Posted September 2, 2007 Author Share Posted September 2, 2007 See thats how I feel sometimes that it can lead to a relationship....He wants to come back up soon but he doesnt know when because were 2 hours apart and he works in ohio....so Because of his job we cant see each other all the time other then on yahoo and on webcam and right now he might be losing his dad and we don't know if it was a stroke or seizure hes had so many stuff done to him....Im worried about how Nathon will feel about him. I havent heard anything yet but should be later, we talk all the time constantally. When you say this "If he wants just a friendship, just keep it at that; dont' let him cross the line." What you mean by that? We've had that descussion and I don't think he would do anything to cross the line because from being with him at the lake and just driving around and showing him the county, I don't think he would ever wanna do anything to hurt our friendship. He has told me that he doesnt want a relationship, but I feel that he's scared to hurt the friendship too and he said at the lake he wants to save it and keep contuning....That sounds to me like he's trying to let all his feelings out and needs a friend for him. As for me I need a friend myself too. But yet afraid to push anything. I beilieve that a friendship will change myself it can lead to romance...he's a good kisser too and always willing to buy me gifts if he has the $ and doesn't worry about it. I do want him and have hopes but I dont think it will ever go the way I want it too:( Like I said before its been so long since I've had a real friend. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted September 2, 2007 Share Posted September 2, 2007 After reading the followup, I would suggest following the flow but don't discount yourself. If someone else catches your eye, do not be afraid to pursue a relationship with that person. If you wait around; you might be waiting for sometime. Go with the flow but don't drop your date plans just because he came back into town. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts