emmaUK Posted July 31, 2007 Share Posted July 31, 2007 my friend is a single mum like me... her daughter is 6 months old now and last month she felt she wanted to start dating again. she was telling me about this guy who she was meeting up with who is so great etc etc. other night i was talkign to her on msn and she was going on about how great his body is as he has a picture of it on his msn. she added me into thier convo so we were having a 3 way convo on msn. it lasted 2 mins and then she said she wanted them to talk alone again... just before i said goodbye.. this guy suddenly added me to his msn list. i thought it was a bit dodgy... why would he want to add me when he is going to be dating my friend. i accepted the request as i wanted to see what else he may do. and that was that. i asked my friend next day "is it just a sex thing or is it going to be somethign serious" she sais something serious. at that point i felt i shouldnt say anything. i speak to her on msn few days after and she tells me that they are propa in relationship now and he is so nice etc. i decided to do a check on his email adress coz i just get this gut feeling about him and i dont know why. i put his email adress into myspace and find out he has got a myspace account.... his status is still single and he had set his mood to dirty.. and he had logged in that day. i decided i should say something as this friend has been in violent relationships and been with men who ruled her and stopped her from going out etc so i jsut want her to be careful now she gota 6 month old baby. i was on msn last night and i told her that he had added me just before i left the convo other night and i showed her his myspace. she was a bit upset and said "he told me he didnt have any other accounts apart from plentyoffish and he said he deleted that" so not only had he added me on msn... he also lied and said that he didnt have any internet accounts at all anymore. she text him and told him that she had just seem his myspace and why did he lie and say that he hasnt got any other accounts and why is his status still single and his mood dirty. he made up some crappy excuse that he doesnt use it etc (even though he had been logged in that day) then she asked him why he added me... he said he doesnt have me on his msn list st all. then he slipped up and said i deleted her as soon as i found out what she was like (WHAT I AM LIKE WTF). So then my friend sais... i thought u didnt add her.. he said ... no she added me. then he went on to say that i am a liar and it was no way he added me etc and that he doesnt even know how to add people on msn. what a liar. so then she added me to thier msn convo again and i went into one asking why he is lying and saying that its me who added him and it got pretty heated. he then left the convo and went offline suddenly blatantly coz he knew that with me confronting him in front of my friend his lying would be exposed. i messaged him straight away on myspace asking him why he is lying to her and trying to twist her mind and make her think that it sme who is lying and why would he even attempt that when i have known her 7 years and he only known her for 2 weeks. he read the message and then deleted his myspace account straight away. i told my friend that he is lying and if he can lie to her in the first 2 weeks of knowing him .. then what does that say about him and to not get involved with him... but she just said "but i really really like him and he's so good in bed" grrrrrrrrr this made me so angry coz surely she could cut her losses now as its so early and she has hardly any attatchment to him. what makes it worse is that he was texting her saying "im falling in love with you" etc... so she is just being sucked in. text her this mornign and said.... it sall sorted now, it got a bit out of hand last night. so i know she has been on the phone to him and he has todl a load of lies about how he is tellign the truth n he loves her etc. i have a feelign im going to lose her as a friend coz of this... if he can manipulate her so easy after jsut 2 week... i hate to think what he will be like in a few months.. i have a big feelign he will stop her seeing me. what can i say or do.... i feel helpless??? she doesn deserve someone like that.. shes has been through so much crap with men Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 31, 2007 Share Posted July 31, 2007 If you lose this friendship, it's not because of you. It will be because your friend can't tell this guy is a user/a@@hole/game player who is manipulating her. All you can do is back off, leave her alone...And, when things go badly between him and her, you be there for her...Support her and BE her friend. Honestly, she sounds messed up and just goes where the wind blows. So, she's chosen to believe someone she doesn't know, some guy that is whispering crap in her ear. Don't involve yourself in it anymore. Delete and block him from your MSN, no point in having him on there since you and him are NOT friends. Sadly, she is going to have to learn the hard and painful way, she isn't and won't listen to you. Just be there for her when it all goes bad...THEN, later, you two can sort out the friendship and let her know she hurt you by choosing to believe him over you. Hope this helps. Link to post Share on other sites
Author emmaUK Posted August 1, 2007 Author Share Posted August 1, 2007 i guess thats all i can do. just gonna havta wait for a while and possibly pick up the peices im so angry about it... how dare he tell her it was me who was lying, how dare he even try and mess up our friendship just so he can dip his wick. she hasnt contacted me since the last text i text her saying that he is so out of order etc. i doubt i will hear from her for a while now. i can really see why certain guys end up abusing and walking over women now... if they show signs of weakness so early on like she has done... then they know they can get away with more. every guy she has been out with has mentally and physically abused her and i can see why now. i guess i should start looking at the signs osf weakness i show that have made guys walk all over me when i was havign a go at him and tellign him not to lie she was trying to stop me by sayign "oh stop it now emma" she was scared of offending him even though he had lied to her. grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr i been having fantasies abotu smashing his face in Link to post Share on other sites
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