EC Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 While answering another thread entitled "getting rid of a toxic friend' I realized why I have been feeling so weird lately. About 3 months ago I really had it out with my best friend and we really haven't spoken since. Too make a long story short we had been best friends since highschool about 7 years now. Since the first day I met her she was crying about this boy who broke her heart. Well they were on and off forever. He treated her like dirt and she loved the attention from him good or bad. Eventually I met my now bf through them. He was his college roomate and in one of her visits to go see him I went along and met my now bf. Thats when all the drama started. We were both in LDRS. My bf would tell me where they were going..her bf would lie to her..then I couldnt tell her because my bf would get mad and I would betray his trust..but then if I didnt tell her I wasn't really her friend. All the mistrust started there. She didnt care if i ruined the only happiness I had found in a long time just to get closer to this a**hole. Then this a**hole would want to take my bf to stripclubs..and he was always lying to my friend..trying to convince my bf to cheat because life was short..just a real dirtbag. Everyone told her and she lost a lot of friends because of him. But no matter what I would listen to her problems..give her the same advice over and over and be her shoulder to lean on when she needed it. She FINALLY left this guy and dated another guy for a while. That turned sour when I started modeling and her new bf didn't like my photos so he said she couldnt hang out with me anymore. Then she would cheat on the new guy with the old a**hole. Eventually the old guy came back and was all saved..he said he had changed an wanted to be with her. I was like WTF! Your going to believe this guy? So she left her new guy to be with this a**hole. Then my bf moved down to be clloser to me because doing the LDR thing was becoming to hard. SO whenever her A**hole would come down to visit her he would want to have a guys night ( which consisted of doing drugs/inviting strippers over to his home/ and just all kinds of horrible things) and Im not imagining it..this is what he does all the time. Gamble and waste money on hookers. Eew:sick: My bf and I never fought but whenever he would come down to visit we would argue because he would not stop calling him to go out and I couldnt take it. I would call her to vent naturally but she would get so upset because how dare I say that my bf cant hangout with her bf. That if he was such a bad guy how could I let her date him?! WTF? Anyways after everything I wanted to keep our friendship..because all crap aside I loved the girl and we never fought only over him. We had our first fight in 7 years because of him. So in an effort to save it i invited her out with some girls to have a good time. First she didnt want to because she liked to stay home and wait for his call ( they are in an LDR ) and shes like I dont want to go out its not fair to him if i go out . WTF (when he was doing god knows what) W/e she finally went out with us and we both had a little too much too drink and he started calling her and she didnt want to answer because she didnt want him to get mad that she was out. I said please pick up because then he will just become more angry and not want you hanging out with me. ( which was already an issue ) She refused to pick up and i kept insisting until she finally snapped like CRAZYYY snapped and was yelling and flailing her arms screaming stop trying to control my life. Everytime I would try to get a word in she would scream louder and just was going ballistic. She actually tried hitting me at one point.Ii had never seen her like that in my life. I told her to pull over that I would walk home. We made it home finally in complete silence. I drove home alone and she started texting me with craziness...I was so angry and hurt that I told her she was f*cking crazy and I was tired of trying to support her and that she needed help and never to talk to me again. I of all people never thought I was controling her life but my mother said that since she valued my opinions so much..she lived her life based on what i would approve of or not..so she felt controlled by me. I never meant for that I just cared about the girl and felt bad she couldnt see that he was the monster not me. It really hurts now because I have no one to confidein now. I have friends but its not the same. I feel like part of me is missing. Its so weird but I feel like im going through a breakup. What hurt even more is that in the fighting before I left I said I can't believe your going to throw away are friendship because of him. I hope he is worth is and that you are happy. She yes I am VERY HAPPY thank you. A few weeks later I hear shes cheating on him already with a new guy. He was so important to ruin our friendship but not so important that she could cheat on him A few days ago her bf came down to visit and again tried to persuade my bf to go with him. My bf was going and I was ok with it because they were just going to play pool. Well she called and we talked and she apologized about a lot of things as did I ( though I really didnt feel I needed to ) and then proceeded to asking me about where they were going, who was going and what not. I told her everything then asked her if she wanted to go out since they were going out. You know kind of like a make up outing. She said no she had things to do I said ok and hung up. I went out and later on met up with my bf when he was done playing pool. He told me that she ended up waiting home because she knew he owuld call her after to meet up and she didnt want to be out with me in case he called and she would miss her chance of hanging out with him. So she used me to get information and sold me out for him again. Haven't spoken to her since. I guess its for the best But I really miss her or maybe I miss having a bestfriend. I never knew losing a friend would hurt like a breakup. We never really spoke of the issues after the fight or anything we just stopped talking. And when she called me for info we just said hey sorry about everything. We didnt get into detail. She thinks shes right and I think Im right and so we havent really spoken. I don't know if i should write her and let her know how i feel. Cuz in a way I want her to realize some things and apologize to me. I keep waiting for the day she finds out how much of a dirt bag he really is and apologize to me. I dont know what to do. I miss my friend. 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JackJack Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 Sorry to hear EC. I can relate. I lost a good buddy of mine not long ago, due to a big misunderstanding. He refused to see the other side of things when I tried to explain to him where I was coming from with things going on in his life. He chose to cut me out of his life over a misunderstanding that he feels he is 100 percent right in seeing only things his way. To me, if a friend is NOT going to even give you a chance to explain things or even wants to try and see another side of something, then maybe its best we are not friends anymore. I don't have time for someone who doesn't have time for me to try and understand that things are not always how he thinks they are. Link to post Share on other sites
Dadubwa Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 I also just recently lost my best friend after she went to college. The last time I saw her, we were both drinking at a Grad party having a great time... We stopped talking for a few weeks the next thing I know she has a post on her 'blog' saying how happy she is that she can "forget old friends that never meant anything" to her and "never made any positive impact" on her. That hit like a knife. Not to mention she used to date my brother and I used to date her best friend...we had some of the best memories together..and she says "the memories were never worth it". We've been friends for 7 years. I haven't talked to her since, haven't tried to. think about it...has she ever made an impact? Talk to her. Why not? Life is the longest thing you'll ever do...you might as well spend it with people you enjoy being around. Link to post Share on other sites
Author EC Posted March 26, 2007 Author Share Posted March 26, 2007 wow it feels kinda good that Im not the only one lol Im so sorry she said the friendships that never meant anything. That would hurt like a knife. Kind of like when I ofund out she was cheating on her bf after she gave us up to be with him. It hurts. I want to try and work things out but I have too much pride and I refuse to be the one to initiate it. Whats worse is that she had 'friends' before me that left her and stopped talking to her because she was with this guy and now shes hanging out with them everyday and calling them her true friends. When they had left when she needed them the most. Just writing this lets me know Im still too angry anf hurt and emotional to even try to reconcile. I just miss having someone to gossip with. I guess LS will do ! Link to post Share on other sites
Dadubwa Posted March 26, 2007 Share Posted March 26, 2007 As long as you came to the realization that she's not worth your pride's time...then that's what's important. She kinda sounds like a friend the might eventually hurt you again. We can all just keep our gossip on LS, it surely is wonderful! Link to post Share on other sites
Salam For Ever Posted April 1, 2007 Share Posted April 1, 2007 i am sorry , i am effected in this story , :lmao: what if ? Link to post Share on other sites
LaDiva Posted April 2, 2007 Share Posted April 2, 2007 an old adage says that pride comes just before a fall. (You said that you thought about writing her a letter.) I think that you are like me in that retrospect... lol... I work better with written words than I do spoken ones. If a significant amount of time has elapsed... say two weeks? And neither of you has been compliant with one another... then speak up, and fight for your friendship. But I have a feeling, that if you are as good of a friend that you say you are, no matter what was exchanged, I think that she will come to you. And that my friend, is not pride, it is pure wisdom. Link to post Share on other sites
EricOnTheWeb Posted April 7, 2007 Share Posted April 7, 2007 I'm new here,but yeah loosing best friends,or friends for that matter,always blows. I've lost a few good friends myself due to my own behavior,I miss them tons too. I suppose thats why I am now a member of Love Shack:) Link to post Share on other sites
Author EC Posted April 7, 2007 Author Share Posted April 7, 2007 She came back. lol Link to post Share on other sites
amerikajin Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 EC, Ever noticed that there's a lot of drama between the four of you? Is it necessary? Link to post Share on other sites
BlueSoul Posted April 9, 2007 Share Posted April 9, 2007 I also have some issues with my friends aswell. I asked my friend on msn if whether he was busy so that we could hang on and stuff, but he always says that he's busy every time I asked. Quite recently I asked one of my friends on msn if he was busy in the week so that we could hang on, he said he was busy. But in the same week on sunday he came over to my other friend's house to hang out - I felt betrayed. Over-all, all of my friends betrayed me, just because I was not good enough for a friend as the other. Not sure what to do, I have no new friends in college, and always alone. Link to post Share on other sites
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