what do i do?

[Guest]

"Well, he felt that for the 1st time and freaked. He vowed to never do that to me again. Problem is he waited till after I "went over the edge" before he had this revelation and I am starting to feel I may never be the same."

 

I don't think he waited...things just 'happen' at the time they happen...hey, i am sure if he could turn back time he would and u too

and as for yer feelings, just take it day by day, take care of yerself

 

"After many marathon conversations, he has stopped becoming E abusive."

whew! good stuff

 

 

"I have a completely different problem now. He won't let me out of his sight and is being totally clingy. I have wanted this for so long, but I am in a different place now. I want space and time to heal and he wants to be with me 24/7. "

well, i am sure he understands that. he doesn't expect u 2 to heal the same way and at the same time. if he is 'crowding u' - tell him that u have noticed his change but u just need him to stop crowding you in whatever way he is making u feel that.

 

"If I could have my way, we would separate for a few days/ weeks so that I could gather my thoughts and gain perspective."

just say that to him - if he has healed as he says he has he will understand.

 

"However, every time I bring it up he starts balling and saying that it won't help or solve anything."

maybe he dropped a plate of spagettieeeee on his foot - that's why he's crying. and if he is healed he would just say his answer is the only way.

 

"So I stay home and suffer. He wants to be all kissy face and close to me and I just want to scream. I want to be alone. Alot has happened to me over the years and it's alot to process and he just doesn't get it."

yes he probably does.

 

 

"I think he feels that he's better, so why can't I be but it doesn't work like that."

of course it doesn't - two different people. he knows that.

 

"Now I feel myself plotting lies so that I can get out of the house. He wants to spend all this time together and I want to breathe. I feel very smothered."

 

go to costo and get some cling free fabric softener and hand it to him - he'll get the hint - wink

 

"I want to go to MC but he feels "fixed" and doesn't see the point."

 

no-one gets 'fixed' - well, maybe those alien robots from mars attacks do

 

"So in order to keep myself sane and to keep him from falling apart, I fake my feeling and play kissy face and spend time with him, but on the inside I am dying. I don't know what to do?"

 

u don't fake anything. u don't worry about him and take care of yerself and tell him to back off

 

Moderator's Note: "yer" and used above may mean either "you" or "you're" and "yerself" is "yourself."