btrfly67 Posted May 21, 2006 Share Posted May 21, 2006 I have had a not so good life. My husband and I have divorced, 3 years now. I have been involved with someone else now for 2 years. I have so much insecurity and jealousy. I have never cheated on anyone, but have been cheated on by others. The person that I'm with has never cheated on me and states that they never have and or never will. But from past expperiences of being compared to others and what this person looks like and etc., it has made me feel like the person that I'm with is doing the same. See I get very upset when they look at someone else, insecure if you may as well as jealous. I don't want to feel like this any more, it's going to ruin what I have going now. Could someone help me through this time in my life? I love this person unconditionaly and want to spend the rest of my life with them. I need to be shown affection all the time, I need to be touched, held, loved and told that they love me, just to feel secure in my head. And it hurts me to no end when I say I love you, they come back with "unhuh". Man do I need to just hear it. I know that I have to work on some things, but, could use an outsiders help as well. I tried to talk to a friend about this, when you confied in someone you don't want the world to know let alone your partner. Just say that my so called friend opened their mouth to my partner and caused problems for us. I just wanted someone to talk to and my friend ruined that for me. You just can't confied in anyone even your friends. Thats why I'm asking for help from someone who doesn't know me or my partner. Please help me through this insecurity and jealousey that I have these days, from an outsiders point of view. I want to be with my partner until I take no more breath. Link to post Share on other sites
sazzya1987 Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 I think you need to talk to your partner about how you feel everything you said. Say you would like these things, it wont be long lasting to always do them just for now until you feel less insecure. He should not say uhhuh when you tell him you love him, thats not nice thing to say to the one you love. Its like you do that to him if he tells you he loves you, sure he wouldn't like it? Maybe he was mad because it was your friend who told him and not hearing it from you? Like you tell your friend more of how you feel about him than you do. I'm sure he would be more understanding if he heard it from you. You both just need to sit down and talk about it with each other. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted May 25, 2006 Share Posted May 25, 2006 Buy yourself some books by Albert Ellis, who teaches how you can change the way you think irrationally. If using his stuff doesn't work, then get counselling because chronic insecurity (which is actually mistrust) is a relationship-killer. To be healthy, love must be based on trust and if you have become totally unable to trust, you need help. Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 Believe it or not ~PRAYER~. Ask God in your prayers to remove jealousy from your heart and replace it with love. It worked for me! God Bless! Link to post Share on other sites
Ladywithafan Posted May 30, 2006 Share Posted May 30, 2006 hell, I'm not bad looking and I always see my boyfriend looking around. My x-husband did it too...let's face it, everyone does it...but just differently...you need to build up your self esteem...go to Books a Million & start reading Link to post Share on other sites
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