Dear Lady Disdain Posted July 13, 2019 Share Posted July 13, 2019 (edited) Dear all, I have two options and unsure which one to pick, as follows: I'm in a permanent very good, secure local government job which is well paid however very political ( favouritism and politics in my team ), also involved in a previous affair with a senior there who has been abusive The options are these: 1) Leave and do a Nursing Msc ( my original choice, to get away from abusive senior and also because I think I'd enjoy it ) - funded by myself with student loan 2) Stay and do a Project Management degree / Msc - would be in the job four days and spend one day a week at Uni, funded by company would study alongside two colleagues from team Attracted to both jobs as both have variety Second option came up recently and is tempting because I know I'm very good at my job ( also best job I've ever had aside from drama with Senior manager ) and would like to stay as I have nice colleagues - the abusive senior since I put up boundaries has stopped bullying - however he is pretty narcissistic and a clean break could be better for my sanity so nursing could be the better route Lucky enough to have been offered a place on both and thankful Any advice welcomed, thank you so much in advance XX DLD Edited July 13, 2019 by Dear Lady Disdain Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 13, 2019 Share Posted July 13, 2019 I can relate. I worked with an ex for 10 years. Yikes. And yes, it came to a bad end -- for me, of course. It's always the woman. I guess the fact you've been offered this opportunity means HE doesn't have a real say in your advancement, or no? Did he himself offer you this opportunity? If so, is that because everyone was? Or has he been equitable enough to offer you this for advancement? I would think about whether this guy is going to take it out on your someday or not. I would think about whether you are nurse material. I certainly am not. Backbreaking nasty bodily fluidy work. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dear Lady Disdain Posted July 13, 2019 Author Share Posted July 13, 2019 (edited) Thanks Preraph! No this was an offer entirely of my own making, my Boss offered it to me, it was a gift that came my way without his intervention And actually if ( God forbid ) he ever took it out on me, this would be better as I wouldn't actually " owe " him in a sense For the nursing he wrote a reference and helped with supporting statement and afterwards said " you owe me " ( nice ) That's the thing, I'm not so sure at the moment that I'm nurse material, I'm putting myself together, let alone feeling I can heal others! I enjoy caring for people and mixing with people and variety but a lot of that could be attained with project management as well At the moment intuition is saying project management....X thanks for your reply, food for thought! :-) Wow well done you for coming out with sanity intact, working with ex for ten years! He is not officially an ex yet, it's complicated, we still have a cruise booked for Christmas....I don't know LOL I love your honest description of nursing superb, I'm not so squeamish X Edited July 13, 2019 by Dear Lady Disdain 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted July 13, 2019 Share Posted July 13, 2019 (edited) IMO, nursing is a calling, not a cushy job that you do for the perks. You'll have irregular shifts, you'll spend most of your time on your feet, you'll handle a lot of blood and body waste and ill patients, you WILL be vomited on and come into contact with more **** (literally, not just figuratively) than you'd like. You'll catch infections from the ward and you'll see patient after patient die. You'll be on the resuscitation team for patients that won't survive, and you'll have to see parents crying over their dying child. (FTR, much of this applies to most people in any hospital job - although doctors can more feasibly leave the hospital and work in a private clinic after they've served their time, and they typically get paid quite a bit more.) If you really want to do nursing because you have a passion for nursing, then do it. Otherwise, go with project management. Edited July 13, 2019 by Elswyth 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dear Lady Disdain Posted July 13, 2019 Author Share Posted July 13, 2019 Wow thank you very much Elswyth! This is helpful, it's sometimes good to have your eyes opened, I do have the calling to help people but unsure whether I'd be able to deal with the fatigue/ irregular shifts at this time, I don't know... I do believe you are put onto this earth with a purpose and mine is to help people however I do indirectly help people in this role and could also help them in a project management role This is extremely helpful thank you so much, I hadn't considered seeing people crying over bereavements, I'm not so sure I could handle that thank you XX 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 13, 2019 Share Posted July 13, 2019 I did not come out of it with my sanity intact. I had depression and PTSD quite a long time afterwards. What sanity has now been restored at least. Glad you have a couple of good prospects at least. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 13, 2019 Share Posted July 13, 2019 I am glad you are rethinking, nursing is not something to just go into to avoid your bully of a boss. Its a vocation and requires true dedication. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dear Lady Disdain Posted July 13, 2019 Author Share Posted July 13, 2019 (edited) I am truly grateful for all these replies and the kindness of strangers Sorry Preraph, I meant, you sound pretty together now you have been out a long time and I'm very glad to hear that life is better for you now, yes, I know it can be crippling and very difficult working with an ex, I do understand, it can make you dread going to work every day Thank you elaine567, I do have the wish to help but I'm unsure whether ( if I'm honest ) I'd have the dedication - this is another thing to confess, too, I grew up as family scapegoat and have had a lifetime of catering to others' needs putting others needs above my own, putting myself on the bottom rung of the ladder, I began recovery in the last few years - not sure nursing would be a healthy choice if I'm honest at this time Am also a skilled organiser and good at running projects, I find the ability comes naturally, more naturally than nursing does I think Thank you XX Edited July 13, 2019 by Dear Lady Disdain Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 13, 2019 Share Posted July 13, 2019 I agree to continue the caretaking probably isn't the healthy choice, for what it's worth. Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted July 13, 2019 Share Posted July 13, 2019 (edited) IMO, nursing is a calling, not a cushy job that you do for the perks. You'll have irregular shifts, you'll spend most of your time on your feet, you'll handle a lot of blood and body waste and ill patients, you WILL be vomited on and come into contact with more **** (literally, not just figuratively) than you'd like. You'll catch infections from the ward and you'll see patient after patient die. You'll be on the resuscitation team for patients that won't survive, and you'll have to see parents crying over their dying child. Yes it is a tough job as outlined above!! However good Nurses are invaluable and carry out outstanding work in our society, they are wonderful people, My thoughts are that in general pen/keyboard pushers and so on are vastly overpaid and great people like Nurses who carry out the real work can be undervalued. Agree though , it is a vocation really and you need to have that compassion and liking for it, In your case the logical option would seem stick with the Project Management but then again as I say we all need more good nurses. Edited July 14, 2019 by Foxhall Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dear Lady Disdain Posted July 14, 2019 Author Share Posted July 14, 2019 Thank you Foxhall, I'm so unsure...I do have a liking for helping people and fascination with healing and health, still unsure Yes, pen pushers vastly overpaid I agree with you You are right that nursing is worthy but I don't know, I've spent my life giving to worthy and unworthy causes, neglecting my own needs in the meantime, I'm unsure whether this'd be a good career for me much like Preraph suggests I really appreciate your input on this thanks XX Link to post Share on other sites
divegrl Posted July 14, 2019 Share Posted July 14, 2019 Hi!!! My purpose in life is too heal people as well. What I have learned is that you can heal, or rather teach people how to heal themselves regardless of vocation. No matter what you do, you can show compassion, hold space for someone and give someone a hug!!! Have a beautiful day my friend!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Dear Lady Disdain Posted July 20, 2019 Author Share Posted July 20, 2019 Thank you and I totally agree with you Divegirl I went with the Nursing in the end :-) really happy with my choice, just been to volunteer in the nursing home and had a wonderful morning, it makes me happy to bring smiles to the residents' faces Much love! DLD XX 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Foxhall Posted July 22, 2019 Share Posted July 22, 2019 Good for you, wishing you good luck with it. Link to post Share on other sites
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