LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Platonic > Business and Professional Relationships

Employee too concerned with what i am doing and they report to me. Help!


Business and Professional Relationships Networking and maintaining a positive environment in the work place is important! Surviving the 9-to-5 within.

Like Tree20Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 4th December 2018, 7:38 AM   #1
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 122
Does this behaviour deserve a written warning?

I feel that I'm dealing with employee insubordination. I ask my staff to please do their jobs and all I cop is attitude and today I was screamed at in front of staff. I kept my calm and asked the person to please go in the office.

I got them in the office. They had a meeting with my bosses. I wasn't present. They apparently feel it is their right to watch everything I do and question my authority. Asking why the other manager can't do what I do instead etc.

Now to my way of thinking they have absolutely no right to question my authority. Let alone scream at me about it.

I'm thinking that this employee who is a troublemaker by the way, should get a written warning. She is using other people to gang up on and bully me.

I am a former peer of this worker and since i got this promotion she has been acting out toward me and going around me to my boss to dob on me for anything she doesn't like.

My question is am I crazy to think that this employee deserves a written warning?
missingu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th December 2018, 7:55 AM   #2
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 708
Quote:
Originally Posted by missingu View Post
I feel that I'm dealing with employee insubordination. I ask my staff to please do their jobs and all I cop is attitude and today I was screamed at in front of staff. I kept my calm and asked the person to please go in the office.

I got them in the office. They had a meeting with my bosses. I wasn't present. They apparently feel it is their right to watch everything I do and question my authority. Asking why the other manager can't do what I do instead etc.

Now to my way of thinking they have absolutely no right to question my authority. Let alone scream at me about it.

I'm thinking that this employee who is a troublemaker by the way, should get a written warning. She is using other people to gang up on and bully me.

I am a former peer of this worker and since i got this promotion she has been acting out toward me and going around me to my boss to dob on me for anything she doesn't like.

My question is am I crazy to think that this employee deserves a written warning?
I'm going through something similar. Yes the person deserves a warning and yes you are being bullied. You need the help of your bosses to intervene. If they have your back then you'll be fine.

In my case I was just about to be hit with a written warning from these disgusting co-workers who were trying to get rid of me. My supervisor refused to write the warning knowing that it was ridiculous and I handed in my resignation giving them two weeks notice. Upper management talked me out of leaving and now they'e looking into getting me a better title. But if they weren't on my side I would have left. Working sucks.
brigit87 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th December 2018, 8:51 AM   #3
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 122
Quote:
Originally Posted by brigit87 View Post
I'm going through something similar. Yes the person deserves a warning and yes you are being bullied. You need the help of your bosses to intervene. If they have your back then you'll be fine.

In my case I was just about to be hit with a written warning from these disgusting co-workers who were trying to get rid of me. My supervisor refused to write the warning knowing that it was ridiculous and I handed in my resignation giving them two weeks notice. Upper management talked me out of leaving and now they'e looking into getting me a better title. But if they weren't on my side I would have left. Working sucks.
Thanks for the reply, I am having an awful time. I plan to go and see my bosses tomorrow and tell them that I am being bullied and that if nothing is done about it I will have to make a formal complaint. Or worse I'll have to resign from the position . Should I do this? I haven't said anything about being bullied yet but I think and feel like I am being bullied by this small group of women and I'm sick and tired of it, as I Just want to do my job and go home.

Do you think this is a good way to go. I'm sorry that you are going through this too, you are not alone, definitely not , unfortunately.
missingu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th December 2018, 9:26 AM   #4
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 708
Quote:
Originally Posted by missingu View Post
Thanks for the reply, I am having an awful time. I plan to go and see my bosses tomorrow and tell them that I am being bullied and that if nothing is done about it I will have to make a formal complaint. Or worse I'll have to resign from the position . Should I do this? I haven't said anything about being bullied yet but I think and feel like I am being bullied by this small group of women and I'm sick and tired of it, as I Just want to do my job and go home.

Do you think this is a good way to go. I'm sorry that you are going through this too, you are not alone, definitely not , unfortunately.
You're being bullied and if your boss stands up for you then it will probably stop. If you don't have the support of your boss you should go. The bullying will only get worse. Get your resume together. Start looking at other jobs. But put in that formal complaint and if you're strong enough you can sue. Harassment at work is horrible but if your boss is on your side you'll have a chance. Definitively put in a formal complaint. Lots of ppl get bullied at work. It's a huge problem.
brigit87 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th December 2018, 9:52 AM   #5
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 13,951
Quote:
Originally Posted by missingu View Post
Let alone scream at me about it.
Right.

Quote:
Originally Posted by missingu View Post
Now to my way of thinking they have absolutely no right to question my authority.
Wrong.

missingu, have you seen "Saving Private Ryan"? Providing leadership, being the boss, means having your authority questioned every day, and having the management ability to provide answers to those questions. If your entire staff is "copping attitude", that may be because you don't ask them to do their jobs, you show them that performing their duties benefits everyone on the team.

There are hundreds of great books on leadership. One you might start with is "The One Minute Manager" by Johnson & Blanchard. The issues you're encountering are very common...

Mr. Lucky
__________________
Happiness is not a goal; it is a byproduct -

Eleanor Roosevelt
Mr. Lucky is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th December 2018, 4:27 PM   #6
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 122
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Lucky View Post
Right.



Wrong.

missingu, have you seen "Saving Private Ryan"? Providing leadership, being the boss, means having your authority questioned every day, and having the management ability to provide answers to those questions. If your entire staff is "copping attitude", that may be because you don't ask them to do their jobs, you show them that performing their duties benefits everyone on the team.

There are hundreds of great books on leadership. One you might start with is "The One Minute Manager" by Johnson & Blanchard. The issues you're encountering are very common...

Mr. Lucky
Just a question then. Is it ok for me to have 2 hours sleep last night because I was screamed at and I am being bullied on a daily basis. This has been going on for 10 months now.

You are right though they dont have to like me or my authority in any way, but what they do need to do is their job, And they do have to do what I say while they are on the clock.

Lucky, Everytime I ask them to do things they dont like it, no matter what it is. Things like can you please stop talking and do your work, can you please do a different job today (gives them a bit of variety and increases productivity.)

My colleague who is in the same position as me, has,told our bosses that no matter what I do it's always wrong and whined about by those same people. He said in their eyes I can't do anything right.

I have had other staff complain about this worker. Telling me she talks too much.
missingu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th December 2018, 4:49 PM   #7
Established Member
 
bathtub-row's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,994
You should’ve fired her on the spot.
bathtub-row is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th December 2018, 5:00 PM   #8
Established Member
 
Art_Critic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2005
Posts: 30,740
Quote:
Originally Posted by bathtub-row View Post
You should’ve fired her on the spot.
Yeah.. I think so too.. although maybe she didn't have the authority..

Certainly at times of stress at jobs people can butt heads and that is okay providing they come to terms with it and work it out however, undermining your authority would be an automatic firing in my book..

Can't have that kind of discord in the ranks
Art_Critic is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th December 2018, 5:03 PM   #9
Established Member
 
bathtub-row's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,994
If she doesn’t have the authority to hire and fire, that’s at least one reason why she’s being challenged.
bathtub-row is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th December 2018, 5:06 PM   #10
Established Member
 
preraph's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 24,938
Quote:
Originally Posted by missingu View Post
I feel that I'm dealing with employee insubordination. I ask my staff to please do their jobs and all I cop is attitude and today I was screamed at in front of staff. I kept my calm and asked the person to please go in the office.

I got them in the office. They had a meeting with my bosses. I wasn't present. They apparently feel it is their right to watch everything I do and question my authority. Asking why the other manager can't do what I do instead etc.

Now to my way of thinking they have absolutely no right to question my authority. Let alone scream at me about it.

I'm thinking that this employee who is a troublemaker by the way, should get a written warning. She is using other people to gang up on and bully me.

I am a former peer of this worker and since i got this promotion she has been acting out toward me and going around me to my boss to dob on me for anything she doesn't like.

My question is am I crazy to think that this employee deserves a written warning?
You need to write all this up. She's undermining you and going over your head. I'd be getting rid of her any way I could.
__________________
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
"The greatness of a nation & its moral progress can be judged by the way in its animals are treated." -Gandhi
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th December 2018, 5:14 PM   #11
Established Member
 
bathtub-row's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,994
Once in a meeting with my team, one person continually kept going back to a subject that I said was a dead topic. She kept going over it again and again, even though I explained to her why I wasn’t doing whatever it was she wanted. After the meeting, I called HR, had the paperwork done and fired her when she walked in the following day.

If you let people disrespect you without repercussions, your entire team will disrespect you. If you’re in a position where your boss doesn’t back you, you’ve got bigger problems.
bathtub-row is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th December 2018, 7:27 PM   #12
Established Member
 
d0nnivain's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Northeastern USA
Posts: 33,541
Do not tell your bosses that you are being bullied. You will undermine your own authority.

Sit down with the bosses & tell them how this other person is being insubordinate & failing to respect your authority. Point to your co-worker's concurrence that these employees are always complaining. Have a suggestion about how to correct this. If you want the written warning to be the corrective action, fine but have a proposed draft with you to show your manager.

You are the manager. Act like it. Come up with a plan to fix the problem.
d0nnivain is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th December 2018, 7:47 PM   #13
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2017
Posts: 330
Quote:
Originally Posted by bathtub-row View Post
Once in a meeting with my team, one person continually kept going back to a subject that I said was a dead topic. She kept going over it again and again, even though I explained to her why I wasn’t doing whatever it was she wanted. After the meeting, I called HR, had the paperwork done and fired her when she walked in the following day.

If you let people disrespect you without repercussions, your entire team will disrespect you. If you’re in a position where your boss doesn’t back you, you’ve got bigger problems.
With all due respect if you pull a trigger that injudiciously I can guarantee you your team disrespect you - they just don't do it to your face. I would have thought it would be far more tactful to exercise some people skills and have a meeting with the individual and give them a warning about their conduct? Getting on the phone to HR and giving them the boot without first making the employee aware of how seriously you viewed their conduct seems a very passive aggressive way of dealing with problems in the workplace.
some_username1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th December 2018, 10:01 PM   #14
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2014
Posts: 2,488
Quote:
Originally Posted by bathtub-row View Post
If you let people disrespect you without repercussions, your entire team will disrespect you. If you’re in a position where your boss doesn’t back you, you’ve got bigger problems.

Yes ma'am, this 100%.


Make an example of her. Period. There are probably other issues to deal with but if you go higher up to complain about being bullied; you have let higher ups know that you can't handle the job.


You are not being bullied, you are not being a supervisor.
Timshel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th December 2018, 11:21 PM   #15
Established Member
 
bathtub-row's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 4,994
Quote:
Originally Posted by some_username1 View Post
With all due respect if you pull a trigger that injudiciously I can guarantee you your team disrespect you - they just don't do it to your face. I would have thought it would be far more tactful to exercise some people skills and have a meeting with the individual and give them a warning about their conduct? Getting on the phone to HR and giving them the boot without first making the employee aware of how seriously you viewed their conduct seems a very passive aggressive way of dealing with problems in the workplace.
I spoke to that person privately in my office afterwards and she continued to argue vehemently. My decision about the issue at-hand was based on a directive from the corporate office so I wasn't able to change my decision, nor did I plan to. She wasn't seeing the big picture, no matter how many different ways I explained it to her. When an employee isn't in a decision-making position, there's a limit to how much they get to argue with the boss before they lose their job. That's just common sense. There was nothing injudicious about my decision. It was also backed by my boss and the president of the company.

After she was terminated, my team told me that I absolutely did the right thing. They said they had become very uncomfortable with the level of disrespect the person was showing me in the meeting and said they couldn't believe I tolerated it. I had warned her over and over but she persisted. It wasn't like it was the first time she was a problem but it was the first time she was that pushy. Yes, she deserved to be terminated.
bathtub-row is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
I am doing a report on AA meetings almostthere Self-Improvement and Personal Well-Being 4 11th December 2006 1:09 PM
How are you guys doing. Progress report : UT_longhorn Coping 9 14th March 2006 12:11 PM
Help...younger male employee has feelings for me tawny Business and Professional Relationships 3 21st February 2005 8:08 AM
help help help help help help help (please?) VD Long-Distance Relationships 16 11th March 2004 7:21 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 4:11 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.