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I am being blackmailed by pervert colleague.


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Old 19th January 2018, 12:15 PM   #46
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Originally Posted by stella1979 View Post
To be totally honest most of the women at work my subordinates don't like me.Probably they think that her groping me and touching me is consensual between us.
What about the men? What about the other managers? Who do you report to? You've worked there five years and are a manager. Why would a new employee target you like this? What aren't you telling us?

But answer me this. When you say she "hacked into" your computer, what exactly do you mean? As HR Manager, it strikes me that she may have access to employee computers as part of her role. It's not uncommon for IT or other managers within an organization to check and make sure that employees aren't improperly using their work computers. Is this what you mean? Did she check up on you and catch you with things on your computer that shouldn't have been there, as opposed to "hacking in" to your system? How did she have access to your computer anyway?

I truly don't understand why you keep telling us what you wear to work and what you look like. If everything you wear looks tight on you, then you need to buy a bigger size. If you feel like a giant, then stop wearing high heels. All of this focus on how fashionable and attractive you are makes it somewhat less of a mystery as to why your subordinates may not like you.
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Old 19th January 2018, 12:34 PM   #47
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This is ridiculous. I don't believe for a second that there is some ugly little woman sexually fondling you in front of everyone at work and nobody is saying anything about it. She would have been reported already for that alone. The HR department does not have access to peoples computers. If someone was going to find out what you had on your computer it would have been the IT department.
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Old 19th January 2018, 1:30 PM   #48
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If I am in a crowded room, I am a head above 95% of the people. I have been told that i look stuck up and arrogant.I have had the experience of women being jealous of me.I like satin and silk clothes and I wear them well.I should not have to suffer for what I like because other women have low self esteem and don’t see the gifts they have within themselves.I have a more stylish sense of fashion. I never wear anything trashy, I keep myself well covered and strive for professionalism and class.
What were you hoping to accomplish with this thread? People have advised you about what to do. It's hard to see what further useful advice anybody could give you. If what you really wanted to talk about is how you look and the clothes you like to wear, couldn't you start another thread for it? What you wear really isn't relevant to the problem you're describing.
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Old 19th January 2018, 1:42 PM   #49
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Originally Posted by clia View Post
What about the men? What about the other managers? Who do you report to? You've worked there five years and are a manager. Why would a new employee target you like this? What aren't you telling us?

But answer me this. When you say she "hacked into" your computer, what exactly do you mean? As HR Manager, it strikes me that she may have access to employee computers as part of her role. It's not uncommon for IT or other managers within an organization to check and make sure that employees aren't improperly using their work computers. Is this what you mean? Did she check up on you and catch you with things on your computer that shouldn't have been there, as opposed to "hacking in" to your system? How did she have access to your computer anyway?

I truly don't understand why you keep telling us what you wear to work and what you look like. If everything you wear looks tight on you, then you need to buy a bigger size. If you feel like a giant, then stop wearing high heels. All of this focus on how fashionable and attractive you are makes it somewhat less of a mystery as to why your subordinates may not like you.
It is a female dominated workplace.By dominated we're talking roughly 70% or more.On my floor it is only women.In fact, there are a few all female departments.The few men that do work here are on the other floors. The attention they get from the ladies is hilarious.Over the years more and more women came in and fewer men.Most of the groping and rubbing by this pervert woman H R manager happens when no one is around behind closed doors usually in my own office or in the restroom.
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Old 19th January 2018, 1:56 PM   #50
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What were you hoping to accomplish with this thread? People have advised you about what to do. It's hard to see what further useful advice anybody could give you. If what you really wanted to talk about is how you look and the clothes you like to wear, couldn't you start another thread for it? What you wear really isn't relevant to the problem you're describing.
I came here hoping someone can give me some advice, or even some words of comfort.I feel like an absolute useless, worthless, colossal failure. I am feeling so sad. I am truly lost.This is so upsetting to me I donít think I can discuss this verbally with anyone without bursting into tears.I feel so foolish and used by this pervert hideous short skinny old sociopath woman H R manager.I am so confused about what is happening to me!Whether or not it is my fault or not!I feel so ashamed.I feel trapped.I keep trying to tell myself I can handle this but really I donít know.Iím really ashamed.This is all so confusing.I understand that Iím being a wimp.It seems as though she targeted me from the very beginning.I am physically stronger than her.Standing next to me she looks like a midget but she is not intimidated by me.Why?
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Old 19th January 2018, 1:59 PM   #51
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Record her groping you and you repeatedly saying "no" and "stop" then you can have dirt on her too

Keep your phone up high and she probably won't see it.
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Old 19th January 2018, 2:14 PM   #52
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Originally Posted by clia View Post
What about the men? What about the other managers? Who do you report to? You've worked there five years and are a manager. Why would a new employee target you like this? What aren't you telling us?

But answer me this. When you say she "hacked into" your computer, what exactly do you mean? As HR Manager, it strikes me that she may have access to employee computers as part of her role. It's not uncommon for IT or other managers within an organization to check and make sure that employees aren't improperly using their work computers. Is this what you mean? Did she check up on you and catch you with things on your computer that shouldn't have been there, as opposed to "hacking in" to your system? How did she have access to your computer anyway?

I truly don't understand why you keep telling us what you wear to work and what you look like. If everything you wear looks tight on you, then you need to buy a bigger size. If you feel like a giant, then stop wearing high heels. All of this focus on how fashionable and attractive you are makes it somewhat less of a mystery as to why your subordinates may not like you.
She hacked my computer using a USB keylogger.My work was both tampered with and deleted, and many setting were altered.I was mad and frustrated. Upon research I found that a USB keylogger could capture my passwords.
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Old 19th January 2018, 2:35 PM   #53
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I came here hoping someone can give me some advice, or even some words of comfort.I feel like an absolute useless, worthless, colossal failure. I am feeling so sad. I am truly lost.This is so upsetting to me I donít think I can discuss this verbally with anyone without bursting into tears.I feel so foolish and used by this pervert hideous short skinny old sociopath woman H R manager.I am so confused about what is happening to me!Whether or not it is my fault or not!I feel so ashamed.I feel trapped.I keep trying to tell myself I can handle this but really I donít know.Iím really ashamed.This is all so confusing.I understand that Iím being a wimp.It seems as though she targeted me from the very beginning.I am physically stronger than her.Standing next to me she looks like a midget but she is not intimidated by me.Why?
I think you should book a session with a private counsellor. When people are in crisis, they absolutely need to be believed, but this is just such a bizarre situation you're describing.

Written down on a forum, I'm afraid it comes across as the sort of thing people write when they're trolling internet forums. And I think most people don't want to feel like gullibles who have been successfully trolled....which is probably one of the main reasons you're getting some terse responses rather than sympathy and words of comfort. Also, the negative commentary you're passing about this woman's appearance, age, height etc probably won't win you much support.

A trained private counsellor would be sympathetic, non judgemental and would hopefully help you to plan a strategy for dealing with this situation as best as you can.
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Old 19th January 2018, 2:39 PM   #54
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Stella,

I think their is more than 1 reason people are getting an idea that your experience may be manufactured.

You have been given excellent advice on this thread from multiple members I think the uniqueness of your predicament has made most of us armchair shrinks come a running...lol

However,

By the tone and nature of your replies, it seems as if you gave totally dismissed everyone's suggestions out of hand and want to come back to talking about your work clothes and how that affects you. I think that gives some the impression as well that the story is a tall tale. Most of the time, when someone is faced with a conundrum like this, they want a resolution. Delaying the inevitable is not going to do you any good. In fact it will work more and more against you.

Passivity in this case give your Bane another day to think about how she can cover her ass and put her foot up yours.

Please act. You have already made some seriously poor decisions. Time to make a good one and act. The longer you wait, the more time you have given to this toxic person who is torturing you.

It no longer matters what you did to provoke any of this..it matters only that you get yourself out of thii mess as fast as possible.

We can't do it for you...only you can do it.

And you are not dong yourself any favors by delaying this. None at all in fact.
I have to say your office wear is the least of your problems right now.

I am going to urge you yet again to act now, and act today. The problem is not going to go away until you address it in real time.
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Old 19th January 2018, 3:12 PM   #55
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Stella,

I think their is more than 1 reason people are getting an idea that your experience may be manufactured.

You have been given excellent advice on this thread from multiple members I think the uniqueness of your predicament has made most of us armchair shrinks come a running...lol

However,

By the tone and nature of your replies, it seems as if you gave totally dismissed everyone's suggestions out of hand and want to come back to talking about your work clothes and how that affects you. I think that gives some the impression as well that the story is a tall tale. Most of the time, when someone is faced with a conundrum like this, they want a resolution. Delaying the inevitable is not going to do you any good. In fact it will work more and more against you.

Passivity in this case give your Bane another day to think about how she can cover her ass and put her foot up yours.

Please act. You have already made some seriously poor decisions. Time to make a good one and act. The longer you wait, the more time you have given to this toxic person who is torturing you.

It no longer matters what you did to provoke any of this..it matters only that you get yourself out of thii mess as fast as possible.

We can't do it for you...only you can do it.

And you are not dong yourself any favors by delaying this. None at all in fact.
I have to say your office wear is the least of your problems right now.

I am going to urge you yet again to act now, and act today. The problem is not going to go away until you address it in real time.
I canít help but wanting to cry and feeling so upset at myself for being such an idiot. I feel so humiliated.I don't know how to cope with all this.I really need to vent. I am miserable, I feel just awful.I'm SO embarrassed.I don't know why I'm so embarrassed.So now, I feel like the dumbest stupidest woman who has ever walked the face of the earth.I feel humiliated and so low.
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Old 19th January 2018, 5:31 PM   #56
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How did this woman see the video? Did you bring it into the workplace? Did you put it on your social media? How?
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Old 20th January 2018, 7:55 AM   #57
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Originally Posted by stella1979 View Post

I mean I'm [her] BOSS, not the other way around...I do not report to her, I am her superior...she reports to me.
In what universe does HR report to office staff? Has anyone EVER heard of this kind of organizational structure in an actual company?
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Old 20th January 2018, 10:05 AM   #58
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In what universe does HR report to office staff? Has anyone EVER heard of this kind of organizational structure in an actual company?
Well, I was trying to figure that out too. OP says she was promoted to office manager, which kinda makes it sound like a small company, but small companies don't have human resources departments, and an HR Manager in a small company would most likely be lateral to an office manager. It also doesn't seem like a super small company based on other posts, so I'm confused about this Office Manager title.
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Old 20th January 2018, 10:12 AM   #59
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Yep, the OP has spoken about multiple departments and multiple floors and has said the ugly little woman is the HR manager. I fail to see how the op, who is apparently the office manager of her department can be the boss of the HR manager.
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Old 20th January 2018, 10:44 AM   #60
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Yea, I made a list of about ten things that intuitively don't reconcile, but since they're only pegging my BS sensor and no one thing is conclusive evidence I posted the one that is a nearly universal irregularity.

The other one that strikes me is that any office manager in a sizable company is going to have pretty credible writing skills, and that includes breaking tomes into paragraphs and automatically hitting the space bar following a period. You would also think that such a person would habitually speak to the point, and the entirety of these descriptions of her figure and how she dresses are irrelevant. She says, "I am describing myself because i want you to know the complexity of the situation," but that does not contribute to complexity, it's just distracting and confusing.

On the other hand, I have found nothing at all that I consider convincing.
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