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Senior at work showing interest


Business and Professional Relationships Networking and maintaining a positive environment in the work place is important! Surviving the 9-to-5 within.

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Old 5th November 2017, 1:55 AM   #16
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I will try and convey this to him the next time we speak...
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Old 20th November 2017, 11:21 PM   #17
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Old 21st November 2017, 1:09 AM   #18
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Old 30th November 2017, 4:21 PM   #19
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While I'm not against office romances, this story bothered me (not you, OP, just the situation).

My general impression is that you, OP, are very reluctant to ever upset anyone, and are very conflict-averse. And that you are willing to rely or depend on someone who presents himself as a person to rely on or depend on, without looking around much for other options. None of these are necessarily bad things, just things to be aware of, if they sound accurate to you anyway. It can be a strength to avoid conflict and to be geared toward small groups of interpersonal dependence and loyalty. But it can lead to pitfalls too.

And my impression reading the story was that this man is feeling you out, and going further every time he sees that you're non-confrontational. When he says something possibly not ok, you'll laugh and find some way to accept it rather than let any awkwardness arise.

He always takes the lead and you are left to either agree or suffer awkwardness-- there's no one else to ask, no one else participating in the situation, no one else you can check with. (I commend you for going online privately to find some others you can check with; I think maybe you did that because of this aspect of the situation and that it was smart.)

I'm not saying he isn't a nice person; I believe you that he is. But very possibly he hasn't learned how to navigate personal and professional relationships in an appropriate or constructive way, and so he has to seek out and rely on more iffy situations, like people willing to do quickly avoid awkwardness before really assessing a situation.

I also see nothing in your story to suggest that you would need to depend on this one man even a little for your career advancement. Do you feel you'd fail without him or someone like him pulling out-of-the-ordinary strings? Do you feel particularly disadvantaged, like you need more help than the average person in order to succeed? Is there some reason you would feel that way? I think it's likely you are more competent than you believe.

It just bothered me and I wanted to point out what I was perceiving so you could get the benefit of another viewpoint. Best of luck.

Last edited by jakrbbt; 30th November 2017 at 4:28 PM..
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