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Dear Lady Disdain 22nd September 2017 1:23 AM

Have exposed corrupt workplace bully - fearful
Dear all, I will explain my situation in a nutshell - a department at work has been in trouble, there are two women in the team - one a young, naive enthusiastic very beautiful, smart girl but a bit disorganised, seems to have adhd, her son has it, this is her first corporate job, some people disapprove of her mini skirts etc but she is only young
The other I would describe as a British bulldog, been in firm twenty years, thinks she knows more than anyone else, conceited, huge ego, older woman who struts around, thinks she is office Queen Bee

First girl has been ostracised and Queen Bee humiliates her ( eg copying everyone into emails where she has made an error to show her up, badmouthing her to other departments ) there was a meeting eventually where I heard the Young girl went to the boss in tears and the whole department fell into a shambles because this woman was so obsessed with making this young lady look bad she wasn't training her right or focusing on her own work, meanwhile the girl became paranoid and withdrawn

This is where I get sent in to sort the mess out and take over from this older woman who is being trained in something else - think she's a troublemaker as she goes from department to department and everyone seems scared of her, she is a nasty piece of work

Already I am being friendly with this young lady and she is trying to get people to be hostile to me because of it, young girls confidence has grown and we are doing better than she ever did which I guess she hates, there are rumours going around I'm taking her job which she is trying to quash

I suspected she wasn't giving good training, she is being obstructive, was told to train me well but when I ask says she only has five minutes...there is a tricky area of work and this young girl has several delayed cases because she is not sharing her knowledge which I am furious about as it is manipulative and devious to make her look bad

So yesterday her comeuppance came! Somebody emailed about something I'd done wrong, a high up manager with others copied in and guess what she had trained me wrong, at first she tried to throw me under the bus, emailing on my behalf and saying I had made the error
But I thought I'll have my say and wrote back I did what I was instructed to do by this woman and copied everyone in

In the end she had to apologise and didn't even apologise to me but to one of the managers whom the mistake impacted and she was condescending acting as if I wasn't there and talking down to me like I was a junior - she made herself look foolish in front of senior management and I got a good response saying it was good I had asked for clarity on the process
I was so disgusted by her I wrote back and said in front of them all I would copy in my colleague too for her information...result! It turned out she was exposed as not having trained either of us and the young girl had been begging for assistance with this for months

Anyhow now she is picking on me and trying to make me look bad, that is how malicious she is...this is the idiotic first thing she did, straight after my email rang me and said somebody phoned her to complain there was no signature under my email and wouldn't give a name ( I didn't include one because it was one line and my sig was down the email chain ) luckily soon she will be shipped out, I am fearful do you suggest I document everything?

It may be paranoia but I am scared she will turn everyone against ME and somebody warned me " you don't want to get on the wrong side of D "btw she is not even my line manager, officially I am a level above but contracting so not everyone knows - I am very good at my job luckily and have received many compliments and have good rel with managers and reputation, she is seething I think that I was called in to do this " rescue operation " I feel so furious about her bullying as well as I was bullied a few years ago and it was terrible

Thank you! Xxx

Dear Lady Disdain 22nd September 2017 2:51 AM

Later on...have been for a walk to chill out because i still feel so furious...I guess it sickens me because this girl is on probation and they are on her case to try and get her out, all furious she is being made permanent after three years ( she was a contractor )

She would have a case for constructive dismissal if asked to leave

I can't bring myself to gang up against her as well - I just can't morally do that

Actually I don't feel fearful now, I feel damn proud of doing a good job - to me what I am doing is for the good of the compay and screw the corrupt people and their stupid little gang - I feel it is a mobbing, even I was taken in at first by the propaganda and rumours this lady spread about this girl

Still fuming!! Even after a two mile walk but trying to keep the focus upon me and just doing my work well

The good news is next week my old boss will be back from holiday so this woman will no longer be in charge of anything - but today she has already called a meeting with manager where I guess she will badmouth me, do you think I should approach a manager myself? I think I will XX

preraph 22nd September 2017 12:13 PM

You should accept and respect that the 20-year employee IS the queen bee of the workplace. For all you know, the young girl with the miniskirts and disorganization may be totally playing everyone. My advice is stay out of their business because you have no way of knowing. This woman has been there 20 years and so she must know what she's doing, whether you like it or not.

Dear Lady Disdain 22nd September 2017 12:27 PM

Hi Preraph, I am just trying to do my job well and protect myself from being made to look incompetent, I'm not taking sides
And in the council you have to have murdered someone to get the sack
This girl is not the best but there has been victimisation going on, I just don't want to gang up on the kid, even one of my managers said he thought it was verging on bullying
And now she is angry because I stood up for myself in front of senior management rather than letting myself get thrown under the bus, what would you do?

It's an awkward situation for everyone her having to train me to replace her in the job, I wasn't deliberately being malicious
But from the start this woman has given me nasty looks, ignored me for no reason etc as well

Dear Lady Disdain 22nd September 2017 12:41 PM

You've got me thinking though that I might have a heart to heart, this is a horrible and awkward position for us all
The girl can be devious
I am caught in the middle
It's awkward because people are asking me what this lady is doing now and nobody knows if she is still there or not
I have got carried away managing on my own

And I feel fanatical about defending this girl because I was once bullied myself
I think on Monday we all need a talk with the boss and to speak with each other

The thing as well though is, I am copying the young colleague into policies and procedures as I know she doesn't know, hasn't been shown..and should I not be doing this, this is so awkward, a minefield! I am just trying to do what is best for the company and politics getting in the way

Plus contractors will always be looked down on by the old guard what's new?

CautiouslyOptimistic 22nd September 2017 12:49 PM

Had trouble following some of this, but at this point I'd leave it alone. You're reacting based on what you are assuming she will do (bad mouth you), but since you have no proof that has happened yet, just keep your head down and do the best job you can. Don't be incompetent and she can't accuse you of it.

Dear Lady Disdain 22nd September 2017 12:52 PM

Thank you very much yes so true, nothing has actually happened yet at all and I think in my head I am catastrophising X

CautiouslyOptimistic 22nd September 2017 12:58 PM


Originally Posted by Dear Lady Disdain (Post 7421874)
Thank you very much yes so true, nothing has actually happened yet at all and I think in my head I am catastrophising X

Yep. I do this too :).

Dear Lady Disdain 22nd September 2017 1:01 PM

Lol that's why you noticed it in me! :-) this is incredibly helpful thank you, I do feel a lot better now

And yes agree Preraph, it's a good idea to continue to stay out of politics

I'll just keep my head down X

PhillyLibertyBelle 24th September 2017 3:33 PM

Do not engage the bully directly. Do you have an HR department? Make a formal grievance there.

HiCrunchy 24th September 2017 10:04 PM

Hi you might want to send this to
Ask a Manager
She normally gives good advice on work related issues like this one

Dear Lady Disdain 25th September 2017 2:12 AM

Thank you so much both :-) I'll update you XXX

Dear Lady Disdain 25th September 2017 11:04 AM

So, happy to report that we had a truce, I realised I was filled with righteous anger believing she was bullying for no reason and was projecting on her a bit, bullying managers I had before
However today the young girl was just taking the biscuit and I realised how much she must have put up with as her colleague
So I did write her a nice email thanking her for her training and copied the boss in as I think she must be stressed and has been good, helping me out, now she has the stress of transitioning to a new job as well and upheaval because of the young girl not pulling her weight

She wrote a nice email back saying how well I had done with my work and copied the boss in just adding, try not to be too impatient with complex cases and she would show me because I hold my hands up - a part of me was being a right knowit all thinking I knew best as well as being judgmental and seeing things in black and white

So yeah Preraph on reflection you were probably right - and I think we were both triggered really because there really was no process and I think she was embarrassed - it feels nice to have made up though

Thank you all for your insights Xxx love DLD

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