LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Platonic > Business and Professional Relationships

Coworker gone quiet with me, why??


Business and Professional Relationships Networking and maintaining a positive environment in the work place is important! Surviving the 9-to-5 within.

Like Tree12Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 2nd October 2016, 2:48 AM   #1
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 100
job has changed and i am feeling depressed; is this normal??

I have been at my job 15 years and 2 months ago we found out the whole place is moving in another 2 months. I have been feeling miserable, hopeless and sad. My job is 10 mins away and they are moving more than an hour away with traffic and tolls are not compensated for. Ever since we found out i have got a huge crush on a coworker i have always got along with. I never felt this way about him until we found out and we are all looking for other jobs. I have a boyfriend who i love very much and i hate this stupid crush. Why cant i just be normal and not care about work people. I feel sad a lot and stressed about getting another job. And this stupid crush is making things worse. Sometimes i feel helpless is this normal??
missingu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd October 2016, 12:49 AM   #2
Established Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 2,109
Yes, it's normal. Forget about your stupid crush, you're probably only feeling that way because you're experiencing a loss of your current work space and routine. Focus harder on having a healthy, happy relationship with your boyfriend.
CC12 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd October 2016, 9:27 AM   #3
Established Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 2,759
I think it's normal to feel invested into a work place that you've been at for that long. I've been with my company for 15 years as well, and the thought of changing jobs sounds stressful to me.

As for your crush, unless you really want to break up with your bf you shouldn't be obsessing over him.
GunslingerRoland is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 4th October 2016, 2:28 PM   #4
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 100
Thanks you guys. I am a bit depressed at the moment i think thats what i am putting it down to
missingu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th October 2016, 3:47 AM   #5
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 100
Coworker gone quiet with me, why??

My coworker and i got along great. Laughing, joking etc. He used to come look for me and was always trying to get my attention by teasing me.

I realized i have developed a crush on him. I get awkward and i started avoiding him as i have a boyfriend i love very much and he is also married. I feel guilty. He was still normal until a couple of days ago and he started avoiding me and seems upset with me.

I want us to be able to get on. But i think i stuffed up. What do you think??
missingu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th October 2016, 4:24 AM   #6
Established Member
 
Nowty V's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2015
Location: East of the Wild Woods
Posts: 670
Hey :)

I think you have a boyfriend you love very much.

The co-worker is of no importance.

You are there to earn money to pay your way in life.

Work is work, you should not try to turn it into a circus, you could lose your job or your boyfriend or both. Focus and be aware.
__________________
"That there are men in all countries who get their living by war, and by keeping up the quarrels of nations, is as shocking as it is true." - Thomas Paine, Rights of Man, 1791
Nowty V is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th October 2016, 6:00 AM   #7
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,211
He is married. Be grateful he's leaving you alone. Unless of course you want to start a sad affair where you're used for sex on the side forever.
JewelD is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th October 2016, 1:44 PM   #8
Established Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 5,878
Maybe he has been told by the boss to calm it and get on with his work.
GemmaUK is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th October 2016, 1:57 PM   #9
Established Member
 
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 15,863
Maybe he realized you have inappropriate feelings for him and is avoiding you to put out the flame. Leave him alone because you have a crush on him and I don't think you bf nor your co-workers wife would like that. Besides you are looking for another job anyway and that will help you to get over this crush. Good the company is moving.
stillafool is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th October 2016, 3:43 PM   #10
Established Member
 
preraph's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 20,568
Either he realized you have feelings OR he realized you are not going to sleep with him, so now he's moving on.
__________________
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th October 2016, 6:12 PM   #11
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 100
Hey guys i am not even thinking of sex, the attraction isn't sexual. I am not a cheater and i feel guilty as it is. I just wonder why everytime i get along with someone so well i develop a strong attraction and it seems to come out of nowhere. I am so sick and tired of it. It seemed to develop when someone asked me what the deal was with him and i and said they think i like him.
missingu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th October 2016, 6:28 PM   #12
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,211
Quote:
Originally Posted by missingu View Post
Hey guys i am not even thinking of sex, the attraction isn't sexual. I am not a cheater and i feel guilty as it is. I just wonder why everytime i get along with someone so well i develop a strong attraction and it seems to come out of nowhere. I am so sick and tired of it. It seemed to develop when someone asked me what the deal was with him and i and said they think i like him.
Regardless of how you want to classify it, a 'crush' on a married man isn't good. Unless this is happening with women and people of all ages, there has to be some underlying sexual/physical aspect to this attraction. If the guy was 97 and bald and toothless, would you still have a crush on him?

The fact that you're on a love website asking about this married guy and why he's stopped talking to you speaks volumes. Might want to look at your relationship with your bf and see if you're actually happy with it.
JewelD is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th October 2016, 7:13 PM   #13
Established Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 100
I am happy with my boyfriend. Why couldn't this guy just leave me alone? He is married, he should know better than to seek me out at work constantly, tease me constantly, i mean who doesn't like the attention single or not?? It doesn't mean im not happy and it doesnt mean im going to cheat.
missingu is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th October 2016, 7:18 PM   #14
Established Member
 
preraph's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 20,568
Quote:
Originally Posted by missingu View Post
Hey guys i am not even thinking of sex, the attraction isn't sexual. I am not a cheater and i feel guilty as it is. I just wonder why everytime i get along with someone so well i develop a strong attraction and it seems to come out of nowhere. I am so sick and tired of it. It seemed to develop when someone asked me what the deal was with him and i and said they think i like him.
You said you're attracted so you may not be going to have sex, but you're thinking about sex. Anyway, it's not all about you. He's a man. So he's probably thinking about sex, whether he was going to go through with it or not. If he wasn't thinking about sex, then he discovered that you were and it got awkward and he decided it had gone far enough. If he was thinking about sex, you said you backed off a little, so he knew he may as well stop. Flirty people attracted to each other or even if it's one-way, and we don't know here, they're cheating even if they're not sleeping together because it's disloyal. Your insistence that you just want to be friends is betrayed by your actions and admitting you flirt as well as the fact this got under your skin enough to write to Loveshack. If it was "just friends" and no emotions at all involved or lust, this wouldn't be any issue to write about.
preraph is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 7th October 2016, 7:21 PM   #15
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2015
Posts: 1,211
Quote:
Originally Posted by missingu View Post
I am happy with my boyfriend. Why couldn't this guy just leave me alone? He is married, he should know better than to seek me out at work constantly, tease me constantly, i mean who doesn't like the attention single or not?? It doesn't mean im not happy and it doesnt mean im going to cheat.
It does mean you have some inner issues to work out. You're not a victim. It takes two to tango. You can't flirt with someone unless they're flirting back with you.

YOU liked the attention. It is not normal to have a partner you're supposedly happy with and then get pissed off because some married man isn't giving you attention at work anymore. He probably realized it was a stupid thing to be doing since you're not worth losing his wife over.

How would your bf feel if he knew what was going on and how you feel about this man? Single or not, I wouldn't give a crap about some attention from a man at work or anywhere else unless I wanted him.

Guess you have to ask yourself why you need so much attention and why your boyfriend's attention clearly isn't enough for you.
JewelD is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
I'm too fat and quiet shamykins Dating 3 3rd April 2016 3:06 AM
OW: Kissed a married coworker who likes another coworker. Harmony2015 The Other Man / Woman 13 16th January 2015 4:08 AM
Should I go quiet? kobeparker939 Dating 3 26th September 2013 10:06 PM
does my coworker/crush like another coworker? x3mon Dating 1 6th April 2013 1:37 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 9:44 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.