Career crisis...please help!

[fleta1028]

Hi,

 

I desperately need advice and other people's thoughts about my current job situation. I'm 28 years old and graduated from college 6 years ago with a degree in theater. My first year out I moved to NYC and got some good jobs in the business. However, one year later, I decided to move to Canada to be with my boyfriend. This move put my acting career on hold for a while since I couldn't work while I was living in Canada on a student visa. I ended up spending 4 years there, and finally moved back to NYC about a year and a half ago.

 

When I came back to the city I had a good job in publishing that was somewhat interesting, but it was also very inflexible. After a year in that job I decided that I needed to pursue this dream of being an actor that I never really worked for. So I quit my job at the publishing company and started taking temp work so that I could have the days I needed free to audition. In the fall I ended up getting two theater jobs, and I also managed to get a receptionist job that gives full benefits and lets me leave for auditions whenever I need.

 

So from an objective standpoint I have many blessings in the life of an aspiring actor: a low-rent apartment in Manhattan, this completely undemanding job that allows me to go on auditions whenever I want to and read books and learn scripts all day, and 2 decent theater jobs in the fall and another two in the spring.

 

Despite all this, I'm completely miserable. I hate going to cattle call auditions that see hundreds of people in a day and hardly ever work out for anyone. I hate having a job as a receptionist where all I do is order lunch, answer phones, and am treated like I have an IQ of 70. I also hate the fact that in the theater your life is a series of highs and lows, all dictated by whether or not someone wants to cast you in their show. When it's good, it's really good, and when all that goodness stops, when the run is over, it feels like life has ended. I can't seem to keep my morale up long enough to get through these down periods without serious sadness. Which in turn affects the quality of auditions.

 

On the other hand, I'm terrified to give up the dream of actually doing the thing for a living that I've always wanted to do and went to college for. And more than that, I don't have a passion for something else specific that would drive me to leave it. Also, I definitely don't have enough money to go back to school, so that's out of the question, but having been a theater major, I don't have an incredible amout of "work force" skills.

 

So the question is pretty much now vs. later: should I sacrifice my "now" for the possibility of the 'later " of my dreams, or do work to make my "now" as happy as I can, even though I know that would greatly lessen the chance of having that "later" of my dreams.

 

Please help me if you have any advice or have gone/are going through this yourself.

[Pocky]

If ten years were to pass and you were stilling going on acting jobs, working as a receptionist and living in the apartment you're living in now would you regret it? Would it be possible for you to pick up a skill that would allow you the opportunity to telecommute so that you had the free time you needed in order to audition? I don't think you have to completely sacrifice one for the other, but what about a career change that doesn't affect your ability to go on auditions?

[Scott S]

Originally posted by fleta1028

Please help me if you have any advice or have gone/are going through this yourself.

 

You are presently in a situation called "Paying Your Dues," it appears. Starting out in any profession is difficult. The only people I have ever known to have walked into a $100K per year position have been closely related to the owner.

 

A few years ago I was down-sized from my position, & spent over a year working temp jobs, interim jobs, drawing unemployment, job-searching, then added pursuit of another degree into the mix. While also trying to be a good & attentive husband, by the way. Yes, things were demoralizing. Send out hundreds of resumes, with the majority of employers lacking the professional courtesy of even acknowledging it. Interview, get your hopes up, then be told they have hired someone whose qualifications more closely match their needs.

 

At least I did have some work, & maintained an income stream. So one fewer issue to fret about. But, I still felt my life was "on hold," I couldn't plan any vacations, had to put off some purchases, pass on some investments, & do other things, as we had to watch cash.

 

Finally, there was an offer. I could start the first of the month. Then a week later, an even better offer! Famine or feast!

 

Okay, I'm stepping off the soapbox now, saying that yes, others have been through similar situations.

 

As for sacrificing the "now" for "later," that's a decision you need to make for yourself. Only you can decide how badly you want this, & what you're willing to do to acheive it.

 

Best of luck to you!

[moimeme]

On the other hand, I'm terrified to give up the dream of actually doing the thing for a living that I've always wanted to do and went to college for.

 

Are you doing it because you 'always wanted to do it' or because you love it now? Our desires and dreams change over time - to stay in the same hamster wheel just because you started running in it isn't the best idea.

 

Dr. Phil - who sometimes says some good stuff - says people's ambitions have to do with how they think they'll feel when their ambitions are achieved. How did you think you'd feel if you were an actor? Does it provide you with what you expected or not? Could something else give it to you? For instance, some folks think they want to be stars because they think they'll feel loved - but they could be loved doing charity work, for instance.

 

Only you can search your heart and see if being an actor is really the dream or if it's something else.

[Lil Honey]

It sounds to me like a good share of your frustration comes from the uncertainty, the "highs and lows" as you put it. Like Scott said, that happens to most people. Most folks have to start at the bottom and work their way up. Starting in the middle or at the top, is unheard of, unless you know someone at the top.

 

That being said, maybe you can find happiness doing theatre work outside the theatre. Maybe you could do something very similar on a regular basis and that would be more satisfying and fulfilling. Would you be interested in teaching your craft at a local college? How about at a high school level?

 

LH

[fleta1028]

Thank you to all who have replied - its nice to get an outside opinion from those who aren't directly involved, either in my life or in the theater community.

 

I guess its just a matter of really exploring all the options and making the sacrifices that I feel will help me to achieve contentment in my career choice.