tawny Posted February 21, 2005 Share Posted February 21, 2005 I was at a social gathering where one of my much younger male subordinates confided in me that he has feelings for me and wanted to sleep with me. I cannot imagine what would have prompted this as there has never been any inappropriate physcial or verbal interaction bewteen us. I kind of look at him like a little brother and look out for him, but I do that for others that have a mentoring relationship with as well. I told him that I was flattered by his interest but that I was a happily married woman and that "this" would never happen. He just said that he has wanted to tell me for some time but never had the courage. Here is the problem....I am the project manager and he is is my technical lead. I can't really avoid him, plus we have to travel together to client sites etc. What is the best way to handle this?? I don't want to embarrass the kid, but I am now very uncomfortable around him. Is the best way to just ignore it and keep everything moving forward as always? Help!!! Link to post Share on other sites
lil'miss naughty Posted February 21, 2005 Share Posted February 21, 2005 I really think that you should just continue how you are. Don't humiliate him by feeling uncomfortable around him. We all have some feelings we can't control. And you can't blame the kid for trying!! he he If I were you I would just make a small joke out of it and tell him that you aren't bother by what he said and that there are no hard feelings. how old are you both? Link to post Share on other sites
ReluctantRomeo Posted February 21, 2005 Share Posted February 21, 2005 I agree with Lil'miss naughty. Don't make a big thing of it or you'll both feel awkward. You've made your point about not wanting him. I've had this situation with female subordinates a couple of times... having a crush on a kind boss is as much about looking for a parent/older sibling as it is about romance. You can take it as a compliment and recognise that romance is probably not what he's really looking for in you - he just doesn't know it yet. So relax, let him know there are no hard feelings - implicitly by still being friendly is probably better than an explicit, awkward chat. Joke a bit. Point out eligible attractive co-workers and offer to introduce them . Carry on being the kindly big sister, but with firm boundaries against anything romantic. Link to post Share on other sites
sami Posted February 21, 2005 Share Posted February 21, 2005 What makes you uncomfortable around him? Have you started to think about him in anyway other you used to be. In other words, did his words start to influence your subconscious mind and moves? You need to be direct and honest with your own self and feelings in order to work your way through this predicament. Try to figure it out yourself in your head when you are alone and away from him or anyone else. This is not easy for you I think. It all depends on where you are and what do you really want to make out of it. No matter what you decide, don't be rude or unprofessionally bossy. Link to post Share on other sites
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