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Married coworker ?

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Old 1st September 2014, 4:28 PM   #1
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Married coworker ?

Hello everyone i'm new here, not sure how to start but any way I'm a foreign female in my early 30's and married, have a coworker who is 50 and married too, who I have a big crush on, but never made it known to him or anyone else, I hide it pretty well.
We don't work closely together but see each other for a short while every day, for the last year he always have a big smile on him the moment he sees me, always waiving to get my attention, always looks straight into my eyes and once winked at me for a whole week, says hello and bye everyday day sometimes goes out of his way just to say " c u 2marro darling" , always making excuses to get into my personal space sometimes just inches away from me, touches my arms/shoulders nearly every day, has put his hand over mine several times, calls me baby, babes, darling, honey everyday many times, compliments my work, says he misses me when I'm not about, always ready to help even without me asking, always very affectionate and concerned about my wellbeing... all that stuff.
He is a shy and very quiet person but very playful, does not talk or act with other coworkers the same way he does me.
Sometimes he gets all red and nervous in my presence.
We talk quite a lot know many thing about each other, but he has never made an attempt to see me outside of work.
He is a lovely friendly person and very polite never said or done anything inappropriate.
Do you think he is harmlessly flirting or just being over friendly?
Sometimes i think he does have a crush on me too and is looking for an affair, he does not talk about his wife and gets uncomfortable if I talk about my husband.
Oh god when he looks at me with that mesmerized look and touches my hand I melt, he is very charming......I'm so attracted to him but trying my best to not put myself out there. Winder if he senses my attraction?
Just hope for someone to help me understand what is going on in his head. I have no one I can talk to about this.
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Old 1st September 2014, 5:45 PM   #2
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What's going on in his head is that he wants to have an affair with you. He's testing the waters and since you haven't done or said anything to discourage him, he will accomplish this at some point. Then when you've gotten involved with him and you start wondering what he's doing when he's at home, if he's telling you the truth that he never sleeps with his wife, why he isn't leaving her, etc., you'll find yourself in the Other Man/Woman forum, most likely in tears wondering how you ever let yourself get involved in such a mess. Or, you're thinking you're so special and great in bed that he will see the light immediately and you'll both leave your marriages and live happily ever after. Because most people who get involved in affairs don't have hot, fantastic sex and they're not as hot and sexy and foreign as you, or they don't have that special connection that you and this shy man have.

This is a road to disaster, in case you hadn't figured it out.

Btw, isn't winking for a whole week virtually impossible?

Last edited by bathtub-row; 1st September 2014 at 5:51 PM..
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Old 1st September 2014, 8:01 PM   #3
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you're married, obviously not happily or you wouldn't be scoping out your co-worker. your co-worker is probably just giving you the attention that you aren't getting from your husband, and you're probably doing the same for him and your flattery enlarges his ego too. perhaps, instead of mixing your professional life in with your personal life and fantasizing about your co-worker you should look at the marriage you have, why it's no good, and make some better decisions in that regard before pursuing a whole lot of trouble with a co-worker?
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