Department manager likes me?

[Sunflower09]

I work part-time in a retail store, while attending college.

 

A few months ago (June), we got a new dept. manager and previously, he worked in another department as an associate like me.

 

Ever since July, he's flirted with me numerous times.

 

Every shift, he walks by me at least once and makes a point that he's there by whistling, tapping his hand on a surface, etc. to get my attention. One shift he starred at me completely with a blank expression and after I smiled at him, he smiled back. Another shift, one of the other dept. managers (all female) pointed me out and another asked why he's always looking for me. He blushed and denied to her that he likes me.

 

Two weeks ago, I was working with the department managers and our supervisor.

 

My husband was looking for me and asked the dept. managers where I was. My husband found me and I overheard the dept. manager asking who that guy was looking for me. One said that was my husband and he denied being jealous.

 

Even after realizing I'm married, this happened the following day:

 

The supervisor asked if I worked the following day and as I said no I was off, I saw his facial action change like he was surprised, expecting me to work the next day.

 

He instantly says "Do you want to work tomorrow?'

 

I almost say something until he says "Because you can work with me one-on-one, just us, if you know what I mean." Saying that, he's raising his eyebrows in a seductive manner.

 

It grew silent until I hear one of the ladies telling him to knock it off.

 

-------------------------------------------------------------

 

So, I understand that he likes me.

 

I did a bit of searching and learned that he's been divorced for a year; meaning, he's looking for another partner perhaps. He was married to her for 5 years and had a son from the marriage.

 

There's 2 problems to being with the guy: I'm married and I'm a lower-level employee.

 

I have been married for a year now. I'm married to a much older man who has always told me that I could leave him anytime I feel the need to, due to our age difference (I'm 22, he's 58).

 

The dept. manager is 29...younger than my current husband. That's some of the attraction I'm feeling.

 

Yet, I don't plan on staying with the retail store for long. I plan on teaching, and I really want to leave my lower job in a good note. All of the managers like me and so do all of my co-workers. Even if this guy is the lowest level of management, it's still not allowed to date him.

 

I can't make any life changing pans for someone I've only known for 4 months.

 

But, I've been thinking that I could just get to know him as a friend for now. He hasn't approached me like that as I act like I'm not interested in him. I act like I'm not interested because I'm married and I'm a low-level employee.

 

I finally see him tomorrow again. I'm thinking of questioning him about the flirting and letting him know I like him as well, but I just want to be friends for now. And if it's something real, then I can make some life changes.

 

Should I go for it? Or ignore his advances and turn him in?

[jimloveslips]

>Should I go for it? Or ignore his advances and turn him in?

 

Blow your old man, then dump him, blow your boss, then turn him in, I mean you may as well have fun all the way round right?

 

Jeez.

[Got it]

Your manager is acting VERY inappropriately and I am sure breaking company policy.

[HokeyReligions]

There are not 2 problems. There is 1 ptoblem. YOU ARE MARRIED.

 

you chose to marry someone older. I don't give a rat's behind if he tells you its OK to cheat - if you do your husband is going to be very hurt.

 

Get a divorce before you even think about pursuing another man.

[LilGirlandOW]

Don't start an A if your hearts moved on from your H then leave to peruse others.

 

Dept mangers arnt on salary, as long as you don't work in that dept you could date him. I know this policy word for word almost. When you're single, ask for an in store transfer if you feel you want to date him.

Edited October 11, 2013 by LilGirlandOW

[Got it]

Don't start an A if your hearts moved on from your H then leave to peruse others.

 

Dept mangers arnt on salary, as long as you don't work in that dept you could date him. I know this policy word for word almost. When you're single, ask for an in store transfer if you feel you want to date him.

 

Lil - every company has their own policies so this can and does vary by company. The best advice is to consult your Employee Handbook for all policies and procedures.

[LilGirlandOW]

Yeah definitely look into it first but that's a common policy for big box retailers, which I'm assuming op works. Lol I shouldn't assume, i was tired. Look into it op

[todreaminblue]

NO you shouldnt entertain the idea of a relationship you already have one whether happy or not you are married....do you honestly think this new guy would respect you if you did "go for it " with him...its a nah.....

 

 

NO you shouldnt turn him in because you are kind of being receptive to his advances you are entertaining the idea of leaving your husband for him......and going for it.....whether or not you say anything....you would be giving off interested vibes....without even knowing maybe the new guy is picking up on them....

 

 

if you want justice doen in this department would you admit to what you were feeling and contemplating as well.....because it is also inappropriate morally and professionally on your behalf from a keen sense of justice viewpoint...you have a part in this ...whether you like to admit or not...you know it......and maybe moving to another department without being obvious why.....without naming names or specific details might be best for both of you

 

 

i wish you well ...have you considered counselling and working through problems with your husband..i think you need to be honest with your husband on how you are feeling and have a heart to heart......i hope the best decision for all involved happens...good luck............ deb

[Sunflower09]

Thank you to everyone who responded.

 

- Yes, I work at a big box retailer. I've only understood that no personal relationships is allowed with any salaried management. Yes, I can always move to other departments (only I have physical restrictions, so I'm limited to moving).

- Cheating is never an option. That's the last thing I want to do to hurt my husband. When I meant by being friends; I really meant I want to know more about the dept. manager (life experiences, likes, dislikes, etc.) not just sleeping with him.

 

I didn't advance on his moves or turn him in yesterday.

 

To my surprise, he completely ignored me for half of my shift. It wasn't until I was with one of the other department managers in the afternoon, he started making moves, not only to me, but her.

 

I now think he's (was) just leading me on for fun, like he really doesn't want to date, but craves the attention from women. He thought I would be interested in hooking up, but I've really shown no interest at all.

 

(And one of the reasons I never played back; I've always been unsure about men, rather they pussy foot around or really want to be with me.)

 

So, I'll sit tight and see what happens next week. If anything happens, like he's back to flirting again, I've already resorted to telling upper-level management on him.

[LilGirlandOW]

Dept mangers arnt salaried employes but that's besides the point. Good for you for standing up for yourself and reporting his harassment! . Best of luck in the future

[Got it]

I will guarantee that a big box retailer has a policy against ANY supervisor/subordinate dating. Their pay type will not be a defining difference in it, it is about the power over someone's employment that is an issue.

 

I am in the hospitality/retail business as well. With the issues with the EEOC and other watchdog groups a company that has succeeded to become a big box will not mess around in this area.

 

Talk to HR to fully understand all the policies. I am sure that there is an appointed HR Generalist for said store.