Is crying seen as a weakness?

[befreckled]

I've worked in my current company for over 3 years and, everytime things get absolutely unbearable (which isn't often), I break down in tears. There will be a last straw and I lost it, it is followed by a mini breakdown.

 

It is my character to take on everything, all the responsibility, everything and then when things go south, I take it personally. Well, as I should since it is my job.

 

I don't think that crying is acceptable at all and I've cried perhaps 4-5 times in total. It isn't a daily affair and for the most part, my director is extremely understanding about it.

 

Is there another way to manage the stress? I get to a point of no return and it's all gone. If you were my co worker, would you see it as a sign of weakness? I have a team that I manage and for the most part I hold a very strong, stoic exterior.

 

I wish I knew how to handle this more efficiently.

[Mme. Chaucer]

If you can find ways of relieving stress on a weekly or even daily basis, even if you are not aware that you're experiencing stress, that can help you avoid a build up and meltdown.

 

Sorry to tell you, but yes, this would be perceived as weakness or maybe burdensome by most people even if they really are sympathetic and understanding. At work, we need to depend upon each others' professionalism and reliability. Other peoples' emotions are uncomfortable for many and not a helpful part of a professional environment, so I really think you should find a way to stop that behavior.

 

I've been on both sides of it. I used to have a difficult time managing my emotional responses. Later in life I became the owner and manager of a successful business. I had a couple of employees who had similar behavior to what you describe. With one woman in particular, the anticipation of her predictable breakdowns became a think I dreaded and even came to resent. I was understanding, but ... she was a fabulous salesperson. When she decided to move on after 5 years with us, I was relieved.

[carhill]

I wish I knew how to handle this more efficiently.

'I feel overwhelmed emotionally in situations of extreme stress and would like to learn tools to manage my emotions better in such circumstances'

 

A counselor or psychologist can help you. It's not specifically about the crying part, rather how to process the underlying emotions differently so as not to progress to or past the tipover point. The stress is the same, the pressure is the same. You process it differently, and learn actions to augment that process.

 

One major improvement for myself was eliminating the self-imposed pressure to take on everything myself. Now I just focus on what I can handle and ignore the rest. That means sometimes ignoring customers and ignoring friends and ignoring family. Often, they are not happy about that. I accept that. Their happiness is not my responsibility. They own their feelings.

 

I recall that I used to complain the phone only rang when someone wanted something and I found that stressful. Now, I'm living my life and answer the phone when I feel like it and return calls when I want to. I better recognize my own value and that I don't owe anyone anything other than what I choose to give.

 

Life isn't a popularity contest and we don't get out of it alive. Take that from a man who cries.

[Afishwithabike]

It would be seen as a weakness by my employer. You have to be pretty thick skinned to work here. There are quite a number of shall we say alpha male types in this large department and you absolutely can't cry or you'll be perceived as being weak.

 

 

If you were my co worker, would you see it as a sign of weakness? I have a team that I manage and for the most part I hold a very strong, stoic exterior.

 

I have a co-worker who has broken down at work at least three times that I can remember. On one occasion, she left work sobbing and it was very awkward for the rest of us. Here's the thing - the things that get her so upset don't bother other people that much. It's not as if anyone yelled at her or belittled her. Most of the others are able to shrug off the things that upset her, but she takes these things to heart. I don't know if she's just more idealistic or if I'm just more cynical. However, her crying has affected her employment though I'm not sure if she's aware of it. She doesn't get really important projects because there's a fear by the superiors she can't handle them due to her sensitive nature. She's also not as respected as others with the same experience and seniority. There's also some resentment because others have to take on more complicated matters since she may not be able to handle those projects.

 

If I absolutely had to cry at work, I would try to head to the restrooom.

 

 

I wish I knew how to handle this more efficiently.

 

I hope you get some good suggestions.

[Got it]

It's hard, sometimes you can't help it but I try never to cry in front of others especially at work. You have a work persona and the real you persona and need to try and keep the two separate.

 

If you need to cry do it in your office with the door shut or go into a bathroom stall. Crying does not make make you look effective, that is my opinion. So I don't want others to see me cry.

[PhillyDude]

If I saw any man at my job crying, I would not say another word to him

[Green]

when I see people crying at work I find it very unprofessional. But its not the end of the world I'd pretty much forget about it if it wasn't always happening. And if it did happen from time to time but the person was otherwise good I would probably overlook it.

 

If I was ever really frustrated or upset I would probably go out to my car to cry... but for the most part I don't cry ever. (exept I tear up a little in sad parts of movies or shows)