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My company is giving me a hard time about quitting!!

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Old 19th January 2010, 10:42 PM   #1
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: West Coast
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My company is giving me a hard time about quitting!!

So long story short, about 6 months ago I decided that my job was not right for me but I stuck with it. When I first got the job a little over a year ago, my boss had said that he would like me to stay for a long time, and I had told my boss that I would certainly try and that I had no intention of leaving so soon. However, things happen and change and LIFE changes and it is in my best interest to leave. At my job I am unmotivated, bored, unchallenged, and quite frankly don't get along with many of my co-workers.

So I put in my two weeks notice last Thursday. At first they were very understanding, but yesterday I received a call in which my boss stated he was very unhappy with my decision and he said he'd try to do anything he could to make me stay (getting a raise is NOT an option, but that's NOT why I want to leave, I am paid very well to begin with.) So I told him I couldn't promise him anything but he let me know how he'd fix things so that my work environment would be more productive and less uncomfortable.

All day today he has been telling me that I am making a big mistake by leaving. I know what I want to do, I want to leave, 100% but the only thing that is nagging at me is that when I do leave, he will NOT give me a good recommendation. In fact, I am absolutely certain he will take it as a personal offense that I am leaving and we will part on bad terms. He even said to me, "We love you here" which is completely unprofessional I think. He's making me feel really guilty and I shouldn't!! It's so unfair to me and now I feel like I have to stay so I can get a good recommendation for my next job.

What should I do?!?! I've already sold all my furniture and bought my ticket back home, which he knows, and he doesn't really seem to care. He's only concerned about how he feels.

And before anybody asks, I am going to go back home to live with my family for a while before looking into other options.

Thanks for reading. I'm just at such a loss.
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Old 20th January 2010, 4:24 AM   #2
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Is it important for you to get a recommendation from him in particular? Is there someone else at the company who can give you one?

I'm sure they're fully aware of how difficult the job is there... and you've clearly demonstrated your value to them. He is trying every (emotional) trick in the book to convince you to stay; I would take that as a compliment! Don't hold it against him. Poor guy, he's about to lose a great employee.

But the bottom line is YOU. Always, always, ALWAYS look out for yourself first. Don't EVER put a company above your own interests. (This "Great Recession" has taught many of us out here that lesson well... it doesn't pay to be loyal to a company in the long run, because they won't be loyal to YOU in the long run.) Don't let him guilt you into anything you don't want to do, or feel like you HAVE to stay or you'll otherwise ruin your career. That's an illusion, and a falsehood. If you want to go, then go - and don't look back.
"I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue." -Albert Einstein
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Old 21st January 2010, 12:30 PM   #3
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Would you happen to have any records of past reviews/evaluations or anything that might be helpful when applying for a new job? Your boss would have some explaining to do if he gave you a glowing review but wasn't able to give you a recommendation.

I don't know...I would feel the situation out. To be honest, having an employer wanting you to stay, in this economy, is a great "problem" to have. But if you know that it's not the right path for you, then you should be bold, make your decision, and try to leave on the best terms possible. Maybe two weeks wasn't long enough notice. Sometimes, depending on the level of responsibility, employers need several weeks.

One thing you could do is to offer to help train voluntarily anyone who takes your place. Or you could be available to help answer questions. I think maybe your boss is disgruntled because turnover means that they have to take time away from whatever it is they're doing to train new staff. That hurts productivity. If you could offer to help with that, maybe that would be of use to your boss and let him down more easily.
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Old 21st January 2010, 1:27 PM   #4
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It is not unusual and IS worthwhile to ask him for a letter of recommendation prior to your leaving to use in your job search/resume.

Since he loves you, it should be glowing. He would have a difficult time saying otherwise while you are there.

After you leave, if someone should call him for a reference they will have the letter in hand and if what he says is different that what he put in writing...they will know he is simply disgruntled that you moved onto better things.

Happens all the time and is an excellent way to CYA.
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Old 2nd February 2010, 3:15 PM   #5
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Hello! Wow I forgot I had put this post up. Thank you all for your great responses. I ended up sticking to what I felt was right for me and I quit. My boss is still very unhappy with my decision and he has been giving me a hard time for the last several days but I am happy with my choice. I decided I needed to do what I felt was best for me and even though the economy is bad and I know I will be hurting financially, mentally I was not in a good place and I feel like a huge weight has been lifted. Thanks!
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Old 2nd February 2010, 4:38 PM   #6
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Sounds like you made the right decision.. Good luck. I wish you the best.
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