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What am I feeling?

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Old 19th January 2010, 12:17 AM   #1
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What am I feeling?

I tendered my resignation yesterday after working for 2 years in the company, since my college graduation. So this is the first resignation in my life.

Basically, I'm extremely exhausted after 4 months of working up to 10-11 pm at night, sometimes even burning my weekend. I believe there are insufficient resources and my boss took on too many jobs. Because of the nature of my work, some mistakes are irreversible and may cost the company a lot of money. My boss raises her voice at the smallest mistake that I made.

The job robbed me of my time for my favourite activities. I used to practise piano every night, train muay thai once a week and swim on Sunday. Now, the little time I had left for myself, I used it to recover my sleep. As a result I became a little depressed. I even lost my interest for my favourite activities just thinking of next day's work.

On top of that, I lived in fear everyday because of the serious implication of mistakes made. Because my boss is highly-stressed as well, her temper was very bad. She looked at me in disgust when she discovered a mistake albeit a small one. It was impossible not to make mistakes considering how exhausted I was.

So I tendered my resignation yesterday. I have no job in-line though I have 3 interviews coming up. I have a mix of negative emotions right now. One thing is I feel like a loser because I'm a quitter. I don't know why I'm feeling like this considering how bad my work situation was. I guess because I'm angry at myself for not holding on until I get a new job at least. But my work is affecting me badly. I feel sick, dizzy, anxious and depressed.

Another thing is I still can't snap out of my depression. It has become a habit to be unhappy and miserable.
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Old 19th January 2010, 12:36 AM   #2
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You know what? Being jobless is better than doing what you were doing.
Something that invites so much anxiety and depression into your life isn't worth sticking it out for the sake of appearances. You're not a quitter, and you're not a loser. You made a smart choice to get out of there.

Owning a job that makes you hate your life is ridiculous when you have other options.

I say good for you!

I HATED my last job! I used to get sick knowing I had to go back there in the morning! I just kept revamping my resume, networking with my contacts, and applying to anything and everything that suited my experience. I finally did land a job that I am pretty happy with, and life is better- both personally and professionally.

Good luck, I can't see how you will regret leaving something so toxic.
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Old 19th January 2010, 12:44 AM   #3
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If your job is slowly killing you, it's not worth keeping.

You're not a quitter. Your work environment was unreasonable. You left for your sanity, and I can applaud that.
"Fine! All my life I've fought against imperialism; now I'm the expanding Russian frontier!"
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Old 19th January 2010, 7:21 AM   #4
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Don't ever be afraid to reverse course on a dime.
"I prefer silent vice to ostentatious virtue." -Albert Einstein
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Old 19th January 2010, 10:35 PM   #5
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I'm serving my 1 month notice period now and I'm having anxiety attack. For no reason, I'm feeling really really scared that my boss is planning or will do something nasty to me and make me suffer another month of hell. My feet are cold now and my body aches all over I know this maybe completely irrational but my mind seems to be conditioned to panic everyday while I'm here. What am I to do?
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Old 19th January 2010, 10:39 PM   #6
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Just hearing my boss' voice over the phone makes me feel sick in the stomach and really agitated
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