What the hell?

[rach84]

Hi guys, i would appreciate any advice/comments regarding this situation:

 

I started work in a new office 6 weeks ago and kept seeing this guy around who was always looking at me and smiling- he seemed quite nice. The people i sit with were convinced he liked me and i sort of thought the same but i maintained a sort of politeness rather than any flirting. He didn't flirt so much as shyly smile a lot. Last week i had to go in his room to get something, he was watching me, and as i turned around to leave, he scarpered out to the water machine near my exit. As i walked past in the corridor he called me back. "Don't you recognise me....?" he said. It turns out he used to be on the fringes of my group of friends years ago and we'd had a few drunken nights out together but he'd never been a friend as such. Over the last week we've been emailing backwards and forwards and without sounding arrogant, it was obvious moreso that he liked me. We're into all the same stuff it seems and he seemed really nice. Today i was told we're not meant to send personal emails so i sent one to him saying if he has instant messaging at home, we can talk and catch up there cos i'll probably be online later. I obviously meant as friends. He mailed me back saying

 

"I do have instant messaging but i don't think my fiance will like it because she is very protective and she doesn't know you so she won't want me messaging you. Sowwy :("

 

I was surpised at his declaration about a fiance, his making a big deal out of me just being friendly, and the fact hes not had his eyes off me for weeks when he's engaged. So i just emailed back with "Ok no worries. Have a good weekend ."

 

Now i feel weird that i won't be able to catch up with someone i could have had a laugh with, and it will be awkward when i next see him. So my plan is to not email him unless he mails me, and if i do reply to anything just be sort of, polite and to-the-point, and if i physically bump into him, be polite and non-commital. Because if his fiance won't want him talking to me when she can see it, she won't want him to when she's not there will she? So i'm best off keeping well away. I didn't realise it was such a big deal to want to make new friends and talk about the old crowd of friends. The last thing i want is embarassments at work (moreso than what's already happened!) Sorry to write this here, just needed to get it off my chest.

 

Rach

[quankanne]

ah, just keep the friendly chatting to office hours when you run into each other. That way you don't go against company policy about personal emails on company time, and you don't upset his woman by contacting him at home. Otherwise, I wouldn't worry much about it. Though I think it's kinda funny that he waited for YOU to recognize HIM when he obviously remembered quicker than you did!