Co-Workes, whats up?

[redfathom]

I am kind of friends with this older gentleman at work and we would go to lunch about 1-2 a week. Then this women started and we would take afternoon walks. I introduced them about a month ago when I invited her to go on walks with us (the guy and me). A few days later he invited us out for wine tasting (this is something weekly now) I was not able to go and have not been able to go in the past three weeks. Although I have no longer been formally invited.

 

She was able to go and now they both are making plans during and after work and not inviting me. For example: I asked the women if she wanted to go to the gym after work last week on Tuesday (she was the one who mentioned going about two weeks prior). She said she could not because she was going to wine tasting after work with x (older gentleman) she asked if I wanted to go but I declined since I already had plans to go to the gym.

 

Then at a meeting the women and I went and sat with the older gentleman, who ingorned me the whole time even turning his back so I was no longer part of the group.

 

Then today I asked the women if she wanted to take a walk today and she said she has plans to take a walk with x (older guy) but I could join them if I wanted to. Then the next week he invites me to lunch like nothing is wrong. But just to lunch and not to the wine tasting afterwards.

 

I think it's weird that the guy seems to be excluding me from hanging out with them. When I do hang out with either one we get along very well.

 

Do I just need to get the hint about something.

 

Thanks.

[BklynGuy]

Maybe he feels more comfortable with her than with you. Maybe you should talk to him and express your feelings. Most people aren't mind readers.

[norajane]

You are married, correct?

 

Is the gentleman and the other woman single? Maybe they hit it off and are enjoying spending time alone together.

[Curmudgeon]

How about you're all mixing business with pleasure and fishing in the company pond.

 

Office acquaintances are fine but when they become friendships to the extent of hurt feelings and awkward situations they become nothing more than career-busters.

[redfathom]

Hey all, I have actually put this all past me. I am married but I don't have friends at work andam more interested in being friends with the female co-worker anyways. The guy is married and the women is single. She is closer to his age. But regardless, I don't really care anymore. I was being sensative and I don't like drama at work so I will just let eveything run it's course and not seek friendships at work.

[Curmudgeon]

Hey all, I have actually put this all past me. I am married I was being sensative and I don't like drama at work so I will just let eveything run it's course and not seek friendships at work.

 

I've only ever cultivated one friendship at work. But it was ONLY at work and we never did anything together, not even have lunch. We just talked periodically and came to like one another.

 

Of course, now I'm married to her but I never asked her out while we worked together, only after she left to work for another agency and I'd been divorced for over two years.

[blind_otter]

I've always been friendly with my co-workers and superiors. I don't necessarily hang out with them after work or anything, but we have work b-day parties and baby showers and that sort of thing.

[Curmudgeon]

I've always been friendly with my co-workers and superiors. I don't necessarily hang out with them after work or anything, but we have work b-day parties and baby showers and that sort of thing.

 

Those are appropriate. When it becomes more it can get sticky.