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Priest, God, etc.


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saintfrancis

It felt weird, but I did go talk to a priest this week, about my relationship with exMM. Why did I go to him? I'm not sure, because I don't ever go to church, I am not religious and I don't even know if I believe in God. But, somehow (maybe because I was brought up Catholic and went to church as a child) I felt more comfortable going to him than a counselor. I guess I just needed a friend, not a doctor.

 

During the conversation, I told him of my non-believer status, and asked him how I know there even is a God? To me, the mysteries of life are unraveling through scientific discovery.

"Well," he said, "your love for this man proves that there is more to life than scientific fact. Your love for him, married or not, is part of the mystery of your life. And that's what life is, it's a mystery for us. More than mere facts."

 

Hearing that made me stop and think... After all, my love for my ex, wether it was right or wrong to love him at all, has been one of the deepest experiences of my life. I felt connected to him in a way that can't be explained by science (not yet anyway). But...why should I believe this priest? Why should I be open to God? Why should I believe He exists? I am asking in all seriousness.

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Your nick is a little ironic, given your current beliefs :) Why 'should' you believe? No reason at all. You can't make yourself believe any more than you can make yourself fall in love. Explore different faiths, read, attend services. Something may move you to feel faith - or it may not. I guarantee you can't manufacture it at will, though.

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saintfrancis

It is ironic, isn't it? Last year sometime, my mother told me that St. Francis (or maybe it's spelled FrancEs, I'm not sure) had a special connection to animals, that he could communicate with them. So the story goes. I am a big animal lover... I'm the person you see on the side of the expressway getting out to save an animal that's just been hit by a car. Done it many times in fact. I'm a total sucker for any animal. So, I thought that would be a fitting nickname.

 

Besides, "Ho that's involved with a MM" seemed a little too harsh. ;)

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hmmm, maybe the question shouldn't be "WHY should I be open to God" but rather, "AM I open to God?" this would give you a little be more leeway to explore without feeling anxious or angry or upset because you're forced into a certain way of thinking. At least this is what my little pea-brain has come up with.

 

I like the priest's answer: that you cannot explain things felt with the heart and senses with a mere scientific explanation. Faith (of any kind, be it spiritual faith or even love itself) is pretty much a leap of imagination, something that transcends the very things that keep us earthbound. It's the going past the words and explanations and things seen and experiencing things a more visceral way: you feel it, though you cannot necessarily explain it.

 

Religion is good, but it's just a vehicle for faith. If you're uncomfortable with the trappings of religion (i.e., you "must" believe X or Y, you "must" do this or that, etc.), then just open yourself to dialogue with God. I think science is a wonderful way to start, because we all know everything has a beginning: but how did it get to the beginning point? what caused it to be in order for it to exist? People talk about creation and evolution -- you really can't have one without the other. There has to be a starting point, logically thinking! but I'm starting to digress ...

 

start small, with the marvels and wonders of what's around you – yes, even the scientific stuff/breakthroughs – and trace it backwards. I find that is the easiest way to get in "contact" with the mystical nature of God.

 

quank

 

FYI – St. Francis, the friar who founded the Franciscan order and who lots of people have statues of in their gardens, was a nature loving guy. Hence, his name is spelled "Francis" -- "Frances" is the feminine spelling of his name.

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