i cant handle my feelings

[illi]

hi guys, this is Illi. i am a veterinerian student in a small town

 

actually i've been doing great but everything expoleded in a week

 

my lovely cat has a tumor. my best friends doesn't answer my calls bec. of her life problems. my bf and i have LDR but we were great too until i started to think about our bad past and his mistakes -i thought i forgive him but i guess it doesn't mean i am not broken- everything by come by, i come home and look other people's fake perfect life and feel sorry for myself. i am so scared also angry a lot. just wanna yell at somebody or something. i push this feelings away and watching tv series and it is kinda drug and i am becoming an addict.

 

i am all alone in this town. i know when you start live alone also you gotta learn how to fight bad times. but now, like i am in a space and rolling over in an empty spot.

 

on my head always play "bohemian rhapsody" stimes wish i never been born etc. i am so sensitive. you know, when i see a sad person, i feel sorry. i think people who has no home, food, family; i feel sorry. i feel sorry god damn all the time bec. there is nothing i can do. i can't fix my cat. i can't change the past. i can't run away from death it will catch me advantually i am so afraid to die or see dying people i love.

 

i cant change my perspective or people or actions or anything else. i know it seems to you i'm complaining but i'm 21 and these feelings too much for me and i can't talk nobody. i had a depression history like 3 years and i don't wanna be depressed again i am so scared please, God please somebody share these feelings with me

[preraph]

Aw, I'm so sorry about your cat. Well, I know you won't let your kitty suffer and will know when the time is right. I'm sure you gave her a nice life.

 

Is your LDR bf ever going to be in the same town with you? If not, why continue? I know it's lonely when you first move somewhere, and I'd advise you to try to go out and make friends or make them from people you work with.

 

We all get Bohemian Rhapsody in our head, because that's how great a song it is. Just think, life is always worth living if for no other reason, just if there's another song as good as that coming around the next corner. You wouldn't want to miss it.

 

You're having to be on your own a lot for 21. I just urge you to make new friends and consider if your LDR really has a future. Like, if you've dated face to face a lot, then when will one of you move to be with the other? If not, then honestly, you should date locally, because LDRs if you have not already dated in RL are kind of just fantasy. I get the feeling you have though, because you seem like a sensible person.

 

Maybe you could ask a friend to come keep you company for a long weekend or something so you'd have someone to talk to during this especially bad time. Good luck. Until then, we're here.

[mark clemson]

It's perfectly reasonable to feel how you do. Most people feel this way when times are rough. Especially if there are few people there to support them. Here are a few suggestions for you:

 

You can look for friends, sometimes a "humble" friend who isn't the perfect friend for you is a lot better than no one.

 

You can try some more creative and constructive hobbies and so watch less TV. Whatever hobbies suit you.

 

You can try meditation or yoga or prayer or other calming practices for your mind.

 

You can't fix the whole world, no one can, but you can help some people, or even animals in some way, even a small way. Even small acts can help.

 

Try to improve yourself, your mind, and your situation a little bit every day. Just 1% a day. Keep at this and you'll have made some improvements after just 3-4 months. Your circumstances may limit how much you can improve, but circumstances tend to eventually change. Sooner or later they will.

 

All the best!

[LivingWaterPlease]

One thing that will help you is to spend twenty minutes to a half hour outside daily in the most naturesque (I may have made that word up!) setting you know of. IOW, with trees, grass, water (if possible, lake, stream, river, ocean), flowers (if possible) around you.

 

Second thing is to every night write ten things on a paper you're thankful for.

 

Third take a short walk outside (this could be part of #1)

 

Fourth get to sleep every night early if possible.

 

Fifth don't eat much sugar and white flour.

 

If you'll do all the above you will get better.

 

Another thing you can do is to read your Bible and pray for five minutes each day. There is a text in the Bible that says it's living and active and it's true. It says the Bible is like a surgeon's scalpel that operates on you.

 

These things will totally change you in a matter of weeks. But if you continue to practice them you will continue to heal and be one of the happiest people around!

[BaileyB]

Hugs illi.

 

It’s going to be ok. Take a deep breath and remember, this feeling will pass.

 

These would be the kind of moments when I would call my mom to talk. If you have a friend, or your mom, or the opportunity to talk with a counsellor at your school, make the call. Or, call a helpline if you are really feeling desperate.

 

I’m sorry about your cat. That’s really hard.

 

But, I’m worried about your boyfriend. I think you have serious reservations about him and you should, given what you posted in your other discussion. I would not go back to this relationship.

 

Try to focus on your studies. Small towns are hard, but ask your classmates to go out or see if you can find an activity group to join. I also like the idea that you could get outside and go for a walk. Make social connections if you can, find someone to talk to, talk to your doctor if you need some help, and don’t get involved with a man who sleeps around...

 

You will be ok. Just take it one day at a time. Best wishes.

[shydad]

Hi Illi, do you have family you can visit with or call to talk?