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Does anyone else think that they may be a narcissist?


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Old 6th February 2019, 2:26 PM   #1
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Does anyone else think that they may be a narcissist?

Self diagnosing is always hard I guess, but this is how I analyze myself...

1) I care about myself more than I care about anyone else. I rarely factor in other peoples' feelings when I make decisions.

2) I have changed jobs and made other big decisions before without input from my spouse.

3) I think most people are absolute morons.

4) I think I am almost always the smartest person in the room. (On occasion, when surrounded by esteemed company, I will admit that this is not the case).

5) I think the rules don't apply to me (or my family). I am beyond irritated when someone tries to enforce a rule against us and I generally try to argue my way out of it.

6) I sometimes wonder what it must feel like to be dumb like most other people.

7) I enjoy verbally imposing my will on people. It almost always works if you are passionate enough and clever enough.

I could go on and on.

All of this being said, I do not view myself as "a bad person." I just am what I am.

Do the above statements describe any other forum goers? I'd love to meet some fellow (maybe) narcissists so we can trade notes. I feel quite isolated by my reflections above.

Please, no bashing. I'm just talking some stuff out.
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Old 6th February 2019, 2:43 PM   #2
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Do the above statements describe any other forum goers?

Yes, most of them (except for maybe item 5).
But I think that the list would apply to many. I donít necessarily see it as a description of narcissism per se. There is more to narcissism than what you have listed here. We all care about ourselves the most, even if we donít admit it. Normal. And most would consider themselves, or the group theyíre part of, smarter than and superior to others. This is due to the so-called in-group/outgroup bias. Nothing special.
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Old 6th February 2019, 2:43 PM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CantGetEnuff View Post
1) I care about myself more than I care about anyone else. I rarely factor in other peoples' feelings when I make decisions.

2) I have changed jobs and made other big decisions before without input from my spouse.

3) I think most people are absolute morons.

4) I think I am almost always the smartest person in the room. (On occasion, when surrounded by esteemed company, I will admit that this is not the case).

5) I think the rules don't apply to me (or my family). I am beyond irritated when someone tries to enforce a rule against us and I generally try to argue my way out of it.

6) I sometimes wonder what it must feel like to be dumb like most other people.

7) I enjoy verbally imposing my will on people. It almost always works if you are passionate enough and clever enough.
Most people would not admit it even if they noticed it, but all these things apply to most people to some extent. If they think they are not that way, then it is usually only because they have not been involved in situations where their conveniences and best interests directly clash with others.

Take number 1, for example. In most situations, your average person would try to consider and accommodate others as long as it is not too inconvenient for the person; however, when the stake is large, this may not be the case. Case in point: when prices are normal, people shop peacefully, but when there is a massive sale, like black friday, people suddenly become more willing to fight and trample on others to get what they want first. Number 5 is another good example. Most people have no problems criticizing others, but when they are the ones being criticized, then they are much more likely to get offended because mentally, it is the same as picking a fight.

Point is, most people are a-holes. Some just hide or suppress it better than others as long as there is no clash of interests.

To put it in another light, however, it can be considered as necessary for survival. People look after themselves because they cannot always count on others looking after them. When everyone has their own goals and agendas, you would only be hurting yourself if you do not struggle to look after yourself first. Life does not always give free handouts to everyone. The altruistic usually dies first (not that I am saying altruism is a bad thing).
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Old 6th February 2019, 2:57 PM   #4
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Narcissist is seemingly the most over used and mis applied term in the English language...Everyone that's ever been dumped was with a narcissist...

Truth is that "true" narcissists are actually quite rare...I don't have the credentials nor do I wish to do any armchair Psychoanalysis or diagnosis...

My guess is no...You aren't

TFY
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Old 6th February 2019, 3:07 PM   #5
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If I end up being just an "egotistical a-hole," I think I could live with that. Haha. Maybe I'll wear it as a badge of honor.

And thanks to the people who have chimed in already. It's interesting to interact with people on here when (I think many of us) are being much more honest than we might be in 'real life.'

I figure I have nothing to lose by not being 100 percent honest here.
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Old 6th February 2019, 3:24 PM   #6
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have two trying to get into my life, but now I am immune to them, and while they thought they would be able to manipulate me...
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Old 6th February 2019, 4:25 PM   #7
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Do you think you're always right about everything? Blame everyone else in your personal life for any interpersonal problems and never take the blame? Do you feel genuine love for your children? Do you get angry when they make a mistake (i.e. lose a soccer game)? Do you believe in forgiveness? Do you believe you make mistakes? Do you feel remorse? Are you interested in other people's perspectives if the topic is something other than "you?"

Narcissism is a behavior trait on a scale/spectrum. Obviously nobody here is qualified to diagnose you, but you definitely seem higher on the spectrum than a lot of people.
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Old 6th February 2019, 4:37 PM   #8
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CautiouslyOptimistic,

Now I'm afraid that I'm painting myself to perhaps be worse than I am.

It's not like I'm a monster or anything. I love my kids to death. I do love my wife, even though things haven't been optimal for years due to my behavior. But I think she is a good person and I wish her well.

And my kids play sports and I feel I'm very supportive with them. I don't "armchair coach" like many of the parents do. My kids are also very bright, but that is not surprising. Haha

I do feel badly about my behavior. I am trying to do better. It's not like I kick kittens or puppies or whatever. I've allowed my attraction to women to hold too much influence over how I act.
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Old 6th February 2019, 4:50 PM   #9
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I don't think narcissists are known for harming puppies and kittens . I think that's psychopaths!
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Old 6th February 2019, 4:56 PM   #10
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CautiouslyOptimistic, whew!!!!

At least I'm not one of THOSE weirdos.
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Old 6th February 2019, 6:44 PM   #11
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I didn't know what narcissists were until I got into therapy when I left exH.

As my life unravelled the 2 psychologists I spoke to seemed to think exH was a malevolent narcissist. I looked into it a bit and it seems to fit, but I'm not a medic and I've been told NPD is notoriously difficult to diagnose.

Narcissism as a personality trait isn't that uncommon so you may well be one, like plenty of others.

To qualify for a diagnosis, that personality trait needs to be pervasive and affecting others in a negative way.

Do you need to see your reflection in the mirror multiple times a day?

Do you lie a lot to get attention?

Do you get under people's skin for fun and need to have the last word?

Are you incapable (literally, as in you don't have the capabilities) to think about anything but yourself?

Do you need constant validation?

Have you bern told that you were self-centered and lacked empathy and emotional response by people who know you well? And you have a close circle of friends?

Do you lose your temper quite drastically when you don't get your way?

Do you seek revenge on those who wronged you? Like using stuff from someone's past to denigrate them?

Are you financially irresponsible?

Do those who don't know you think you're great?

Do you exaggerate your successes?

Are you chameleon-like? Like you change your values and opinions depending on your audience.

Do you think you are a misundersdood genius?


ExH had all of these traits (and a few more), but mainly he lacks self-awareness. If you are a lot of those things, you're in trouble!
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Old 6th February 2019, 11:36 PM   #12
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I've thought it at times.

It's strange, when I was younger I was such a giver. Always put others needs before my own, always went out of my way to take care of others. To a fault.

Now that I've grown up and gained more confidence in who I am as a person, I do find myself putting my needs before others most of the time. I don't consider others when making decisions. I also don't like it when rules are enforced on me. I often plan things out in my head and get frustrated if they don't go according to plan (I'm a control freak).

Not sure if I'd go as far as saying I'm a narcissist, but I do think I have some narcissistic qualities. I've especially been trying to improve on this in my relationship as I think I can be very selfish at times.
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Old 7th February 2019, 2:39 AM   #13
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I wonder if it's a narcissistic trait to wonder if you're a narcissist?

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Old 7th February 2019, 3:08 AM   #14
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I wonder if it's a narcissistic trait to wonder if you're a narcissist?

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Old 7th February 2019, 3:32 AM   #15
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Iím not a psychiatrist but I have a degree in social and behavioral science and have studied abnormal psych in great detail. EVERYONE has narcissistic traits, some more than others, but a true narcissist would never ask whether or not they were a narcissist. Narcissists donít believe they have anything wrong with them nor do they believe theyíve ever done anything wrong. By you asking whether or not you are and stating facts about yourself means that you have self awareness. A narcissist does not.

You have traits, perhaps more than some but I believe you have something else that needs some mental health attention. Your feelings about others and your grandiose thinking about yourself might stem from past trauma thatís been suppressed in your psyche. Narcissist rarely get therapy- they donít think they need it so rarely do they get treatment but you seem truly interested in figuring out WHY you are the way you are. Seek therapy and find some answers. Good luck to you.
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