Depression is no joke

[Lobouspo]

Man, I just feel so empty and hopeless

[d0nnivain]

I'm sorry you are feeling this way. How can we help?

[alphamale]

Man, I just feel so empty and hopeless

 

dude, you need to get yourself to a good psychiatrist and get an evaluation

[Haydn]

Whats up mate?

[ja123]

I have depression, too.

 

How long have you been feeling this way?

 

Have you sought medical attention for this? If not, please do asap.

[hurtbyher99]

Depression is not to be played with ----

 

I found my self with a gun in my hand one night sitting there seconds from pulling the trigger. Thankfully i got help that same night.

 

Get help before you cant.

[Sarah_Smiles]

I've had depression most of my life, increased around the ending of my relationship/engagement and then the death of not one but two loved ones. I take life day to day and lots of times indulge my depression and mope because I don't want to cope. Are there specific things triggering your depression ATM, Lobouspo.

[Nilfiry]

Depression is a spiraling sink hole. When you are depressed, it makes you feel like doing nothing, like nothing you do matters and you do not matter, and when you end up doing nothing, you let matters get worse. The worse things get, the more you feel like you have even less energy to bother and things seems even harder to do than before, and next thing you know it, every little setback adds more to your depression because you did not have the energy to deal with the previous ones to begin with.

 

Depression is an endless cycle that never leads anywhere good. Always seek help immediately because everyone could use a helping hand to reach out and pull them back up.

[brigit87]

Man, I just feel so empty and hopeless

 

How are you feeling today?

[Lobouspo]

Hi guys

Just wanna thank you for the responses and concern. I think with the shorter days, and colder weather I always get a little the seasonal blues this time of year. That along with work and relationship stress kinda compounded it. Anyway, I am feeling better and appreciate all my fellow loveshackers out there.

[Nilfiry]

Get more Vitamin D. Thank me later.

[TintedChrome]

The fall kind of sucks for me. It's that blah period between bike riding season and snowboarding season.

If I owned any firearms I would keep them stored at a gun club. At the very least I'd not keep any ammunition in my possession. I'd just feel safer that way.

[d0nnivain]

Feeling depressed with the shorter days is actually a thing & it has a name: Seasonal Affect Disorder, S.A.D. Staying active helps. But you also need to make sure you get some sun when possible. Even in he bitter cold if you can take off gloves & turn your face to the sun for 5 - 20 minutes per day it can help. Some people have had success with lights that emulate the sun rise, they come up slowly in the morning.

 

Hang in there.

[FMW]

There are lights that mimic the sun's light spectrum you might try.

[Beachead]

Depression is definitely no joke. Not many people realize that it takes everything you got to do the simplest tasks and in this exhausting fast paced, demanding world..its not easy. It can feel like you're drowning. Like the others have mentioned on here, I take it day by day.

 

If you haven't already, try going to the gym and lifting weights or go for runs. If you don't like solo stuff, take classes like yoga, martial arts etc. The movement and exercise will stimulate the release of chemicals that induce a more positive perception. Also, up in the North when its Winter and there's less sunlight, you can fall low on Vitamin D very easily. A lot of people also have a deficiency in Vitamin B12 but with this Vitamin, you can actually test for its levels in your blood. Both of these can play a role in energy. Talk to your doc.

 

I live up north too so I understand the winter blues very much. This period of time is horrible. It's dark when you go to work, dark when you come back. It's cold. Everyone is busy and tired so you don't get to spend too much time with anyone. It can wear you out.

 

- Beach

[brigit87]

Depression is definitely no joke. Not many people realize that it takes everything you got to do the simplest tasks and in this exhausting fast paced, demanding world..its not easy. It can feel like you're drowning. Like the others have mentioned on here, I take it day by day.

 

If you haven't already, try going to the gym and lifting weights or go for runs. If you don't like solo stuff, take classes like yoga, martial arts etc. The movement and exercise will stimulate the release of chemicals that induce a more positive perception. Also, up in the North when its Winter and there's less sunlight, you can fall low on Vitamin D very easily. A lot of people also have a deficiency in Vitamin B12 but with this Vitamin, you can actually test for its levels in your blood. Both of these can play a role in energy. Talk to your doc.

 

I live up north too so I understand the winter blues very much. This period of time is horrible. It's dark when you go to work, dark when you come back. It's cold. Everyone is busy and tired so you don't get to spend too much time with anyone. It can wear you out.

 

- Beach

 

I was probably clinically depressed by the age of six but nobody really cared. My parents were too busy acting like children.

 

My needs went unmet and that's probably why I never understood why people even wanted to have kids.

 

I was told when I got older I'd change my mind. I'm 50. I still don't understand why people want to have kids.

 

Dogs yes. Kids. No way.

[carhill]

Holiday blues.

 

If you're not BP1/2, and lifestyle changes don't help, see the doc.

 

I had a male friend who was like that. Great guy but he went glum when the days got short and dark and the holidays arrived.

 

OTOH, a MW I know well, she's in her mania phase now so rushing around like a madwoman and being hypersexual. Sheesh. She does the lifestyle/homeopath/exercise thing but IDK, wears me out sometimes.

 

Back when I was caregiving and mom was sundowning during the winter months I'd fake it with extra lighting in the house and keeping her busy doing stuff like baking, folding laundry, whatever. Sundowning is kinda like depression for demented folks. She'd get agitated and smack me if I wasn't careful.

 

Anyway, hope you feel better. I know the aversions to pharma out there but sometimes a properly rx'ed brain med can help get things back on track. Good luck!

[Beachead]

I was probably clinically depressed by the age of six but nobody really cared. My parents were too busy acting like children.

 

My needs went unmet and that's probably why I never understood why people even wanted to have kids.

 

I was told when I got older I'd change my mind. I'm 50. I still don't understand why people want to have kids.

 

Dogs yes. Kids. No way.

 

I think there are many reasons from what I've seen in life.

 

Sometimes, having a kid is like this fun thing. A toy. A pet. Something to service them. Or it can be a way to lock a partner down or to spice a failing relationship/marriage up. These are the worst kinds of reasons but quite common.

 

For others, its just the next logical step to marriage. Settle into a career, get married, have kids. Sometimes its pressure from family/extended family or friends and the environment, be it indirect or direct pressure. Having children is therefore just going through the motions of life and finding joy in it along the way.

 

And sometimes its because you feel like you've lived all the life you wanted to live and now you want to pass everything you've learned and acquired down to the next generation..and you want to watch them grow and become their own person and know you raised them. You're ready to now unconditionally give to someone without expectation..otherwise known as love. A child therefore then makes sense. The least selfish reason.

 

It can definitely be a combination of all of these as well and there are likely more reasons that I don't know about.

[BitterSweetz]

there is no joke about it. Depression kills, just like a cancer; the short days i find not only depressing but more confusing. The time changes always throw me off, I have a friend in AZ that says they did away with the daylight savings time there.

 

I've struggled with depression on and off, thankfully every occurrence I am able to shake it at some point. One of the hardest things about it is, the fact that when people ask how they can help not much they can do without causing feelings of shame to some extent. Which, I feel bad now, because when someone feels "meh" i try to make them feel better.

 

Not being happy makes other people uncomfortable from my experience. I am currently in the process of pulling myself out of a hole i let someone put me in. Abuse sucks! Cancer sucks just as much!

 

What doesn't suck is knowing people care about you and they want you to feel better for your sake. Distractions are nice, and new patterns and habits (good ones) are even better.

 

its like looking at a really messy and dirty house. You don't know where to start, and more often than not we just stare at it wondering what to do with it. What has helped me in the past, was just focusing on one part at a time, moving forward from there.

 

We are like houses, sometimes we let ourselves go because our lives get too busy, too much stuff to do and before we know it, our house (self) is a mess, and we do not know where to start. Just pick one thing and work on that, then go to another; sometimes when we work through one thing another thing gets better when we aren't looking at it.

 

I hope things stay well for you. <3

Edited November 13, 2018 by BitterSweetz

[Beachead]

Our kind of pain comes from feeling like we have no control over anything..and therefore, we feel as though there is nothing we can do about our situation. A lot of people I've known, including myself, may place too much emphasis on others, looking to them to fulfill what's lacking within us. Perhaps because we may feel broken inside and are afraid to face our demons. Afraid to beat them and to move forward and face the unknown. So we pour all our love into others and neglect ourself to avoid thinking about ourself. Our tank is empty of love because we give all we got to others. We have no love to forgive ourselves with, or to give ourself patience, compassion, understanding. We don't know how to say no to the things we don't want. We don't know how to establish boundaries for ourself. We accept bad behaviour from others as result and are vulnerable to being taken advantage of or abused. So our life just becomes messier and messier and we feel like we lose more and more control which just adds to the depression.

 

People like us need purpose. We need a picture in our mind and that picture needs to be extremely vivid and detailed.

 

"I want a cozy home, in the woods with 2 dogs and 3 big maple trees. I want a kitchen that's dark wood with white granite and modern looking. I want to be working in the financial field with hours that allow me to enjoy time to myself. I want to work with a team of people I trust and have fun with. I want to be working in a field that means something to me. I want to earn 70 grand. I want help my family with it." etc.

 

It needs to be as detailed like that..I'd say even more detailed. We need to burn it into our head..make it what we live for. Our purpose, our passion.

 

We need an objective we want to strive for to realize this picture in our mind and we need to set longterm goals..maybe 5 year plan. That plan needs to be detailed and full of goals as well. We need yearly goals to reach to get to that 5 year goal. We need a 6 month goals to help us get to that 1 year goal. We need monthly goals to help us get to that 6 month goal. We need weekly goals to help us get to the monthly goals and then the daily goals to help us accomplish the weekly goals.

 

It makes focusing on just today, make sense to us. We know why we're doing it because we know if we don't do what we need to do today, we won't accomplish what we need to at the end of the week which will throw off what we want to accomplish at the end of the month..so on so forth. So, that purpose, that objective, that picture we have in our mind of what it is we want to achieve..is what keeps us living.

 

This is the one thing that I discovered that changed my life.

 

Oddly enough..going after that picture I see in your head leads you down a path that is in line with your heart and soul and brings out the best of you. It's only when you do what you don't want to be doing, that you feel this disconnect with yourself. Even if you fail..you fail at what you want to be doing rather than what you don't want to be doing..and its your passion for it that gets you back up, helps you learn the lessons from the failure, find the strength to go on, and keep pushing. And as a result, you end up meeting people who are more like you along the way, not to mention attracting others who want a piece of that energy you're emitting because again..you are doing what you truly want to be doing and you are more at peace with yourself.

 

It makes sense doesn't it? It's all internal work.

 

That's why I say..forget trying to hold onto people. Forget trying to control everything. Just focus on you. Find purpose, make a plan and set goals and go after it like your life depends on it.

 

- Beach

Edited November 13, 2018 by Beachead

[Nilfiry]

Actually, if you live North of approximately 35 degrees latitude (think North of Atlanta if you live in the US) or South of -35 degrees, then the sunlight during winter is usually not strong enough to trigger Vitamin D production in your skin because the sun's angle is too low, even at its peak. Your skin's ability to produce Vit D also decreases as you age, so you may want to grab some supplements if you are the type that is susceptible to SAD.

 

Although, the disclaimer here is that I am not a doctor and SAD is not fully understood, so it may or may not really help your case.

 

Nevertheless, sunlight is magnificent, beautiful, and lovely, so you should totally enjoy it when it is out.

[BitterSweetz]

https://www.mercola.com/article/vitamin-d-resources.htm

[BitterSweetz]

I remember this was a topic of discussion during a nutrition class i took in 2016, she pulled up a map and we were not able to synthesize Vit D from Dec-Feb? the body does have the ablity to store it for so long, but after that it is needed from diet.

 

certain organisms (like brown mushrooms) are able to synthesize Vitamin D, and are best absorbed when cooked/steamed and eaten with calcium containing foods with oils (lipid based vitamins).