I dont know... what is this feeling?

[Walter W.]

Hello Im writing this because I don't know who to talked to about this.

 

So to start off I am an 18 year old male who is confused I dont know how to put it but I feel confused about what I am feeling these days. Its like I dont feel anything like I have no feelings but sometimes I feel like I cant breathe like I am suffocating because I dont feel anything does that make any sense?

 

Like I want to feel things like I used to but now I cant remember how I used to feel or what feeling is like I dont know how to feel happy or good about something like a feeling of accomplishment I remember that I like that feeling but I cant have that feeling. I feel negative things like I feel worthless I guess thats what it is like I feel moments of sadness for being alive if that makes sense?

 

Also I dont feel awake. It feels like Im not awake it feels like Im still asleep or in bed. Its like an out of body experience like Im awake but Im not. I am also having trouble thinking. Like I used to love science and History and just learning things like that but now its like I cant think like theres nothing going on in my head which is my main reason why Im writing this because its affecting me where I cant concentrate and I used to be really smart or at least functional. My memory isnt that good either. I forget things easily because of my head feeling empty.

 

I also have no drive at all like theres nothing to do most of the time Im on the internet or sleeping and going to the gym thats pretty much it and I sleep a lot sometimes I prefer sleeping and dreaming than staying awake like sometimes I would sleep the whole day if I can but around the afternoon which is when I wake up my head starts to hurt for sleeping too much and I get hungry.

 

I feel trapped like I cant escape this feeling of not feeling and I am 18 I dont want to spend the rest of my life like this feeling empty and suffocating on my non feeling and believe me I really do feel like Im being suffocating when I think about how soulless I am.

 

What should I do? What is this that I am feeling? Should I go see someone? I am confused. Do any of you have any questions to help me know what I have because I will answer you. I just think I need help.

[Dontfindme]

Hi OP,

 

I really urge you to go seek help from a professional with regards to this.

I do think that you should try to fill your life with activities that you enjoy, and those that make you feel productive. Perhaps the reason that you're feeling so empty(?) is because you aren't doing much other than sleeping and websurfing.

 

Do you go to school? Do you hang out with friends? Do you have any hobbies?

I ask because all of the aforementioned take up time and contribute something positive in your life, and take up space- negating that nothingness that you speak of.

 

It's great that you see this, and want to break free from it.

I believe speaking to a good therapist will - hopefully- guide you towards a more fulfilling life.

[Arieswoman]

WalterW,

It sounds to me that you are having what are commonly known as "panic attacks. Please seek professional help from your GP/physician.

 

Good luck.

[Itspointless]

I only see this message now. We also talked a bit in march of this year. Then it became clear that you were very depressed, but you did not want to talk with your counselor about it. I still think it is very important for you. It is not just your depression that makes you feel so empty, it is also what you wrote about your parents.

 

Please seek help, I am sure you are great guy.