Community Forums

Reload this Page Community Forums > Mind, Body & Soul > Self-Improvement and Personal Well-Being

Tips on living alone?

Self-Improvement and Personal Well-Being Start off with a great foundation! The place to ponder the journey towards improving yourself!

Like Tree31Likes
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 21st January 2014, 3:26 PM   #1
Established Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,530
Tips on living alone?

I'm 32/F and about to live alone for the first time in a new city. (Although it still has relatively close access to my family/friends.)

I lived with multiple roommates throughout my 20s, one boyfriend, and most recently lived with a close female friend for a few months. But at this point, having outgrown the roommate thing, and with most of my friends coupled off and married while I'm single, I feel I have no other choice but to go out on my own.

I'm accustomed to a lot of alone time and can make myself enjoy it, but I do worry about some of the pitfalls of living alone. I don't want to become a hermit and I don't want to exacerbate eccentricities or selfishness. I also do love spending time with other people so I need to make sure that happens regularly.

So just a general inquiry here: What are some good strategies and tips for to avoid the above traps of living alone? What are some things I can look forward to and savor about it?
Standard-Fare is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st January 2014, 8:04 PM   #2
Established Member
Frank2thepoint's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: NYC
Posts: 2,232
Living alone is awesome, there are no rules except your own. But it can get a bit lonely, but if you keep yourself busy, which is real easy, you won't feel it. Much of my time is spent cleaning, rearranging, grocery shopping, cooking, exercising, and catching a flick or show.

It's hard to avoid exacerbating eccentricities in the long run, because you end up getting used to not having someone around. You can fart without someone getting shocked or disgusted with you, unless you get disgusted with yourself. You can prance around naked without any worry. You can take midday naps because you feel like it, without someone judging you about being lazy.

But to avoid the aforementioned pitfalls, then keep being social, like almost every night and weekend. Invite friends over or go hangout with friends. Throw small parties or movie nights.
"Frag it to hell and back. I must have been something real nasty in a past life - nun-rapist, maybe, mass murderer, or perhaps tax collector - to warrant this kind of drekky karma."
- House of the Sun, by Nigel D. Findley
Frank2thepoint is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st January 2014, 8:14 PM   #3
Established Member
sportzhl24's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Northern California
Posts: 148
Yeah I agree, definitely throw little shin-digs and parties. Make your apartment really welcoming for others, like making the living room intriguing and lively.

I'm 22 and I'm living alone for the first time, and I gotta say that it's pretty cool. No roommates to have to worry about, all the messes you make are yours only, you can do whatever you please, etc.

What worked for me was getting into a routine. Once you fall into that comfort zone, things become very peaceful and easy. Make the weekends your friend too. Embrace the situation you're in!
Castles made of sand fall in the sea eventually
sportzhl24 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st January 2014, 8:33 PM   #4
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Eastern USA
Posts: 6,368
Some tips:
Safety: Make sure your smoke detectors are working. Check locks on doors/windows. Take a Self Defense Class ( I recommend them for any adult now adays- single or not). Mailbox- Only First initial last name. This leaves folks guessing on gender. Lighting is important too, Porch lighting or Screen doors help when strangers arrive.

Living alone- Take pride in your sanctuary...its your "home". Style it as you wish!

Social Lifestyle- You get to decide how often to invite people over or have someone visit. You dont need to ask permission! What a relief!

Own your choice, accept responsibility and enjoy the solitude! Take up a Hobby, get busy living! Being alone can be lonely, accept that too...It will make you self sufficient to acknowledge that.
Tayla is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 21st January 2014, 8:50 PM   #5
Established Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 48,092
Adopt a pet

Make an effort to grow friendships and social connections

Volunteer for causes you believe in

Buy small amounts of groceries/sundries which causes one to get out more to go to the store. Easy to do since you live in a city

Create your boudoir in your own style. It's like a sanctuary.

Plant a garden.

I've lived alone for about 20 years out of my 54 and most of that has been on a big property in the country where I rarely see other humans except for farmworkers and the occasional farmer. Most of my social contact is with business and traveling, and through my hobbies.

Unless you're handy, you're probably better off renting since the landlord has to take care of property issues. Also, rentals tend to accommodate singles better, space-wise. Much less upkeep too. TBH, I'd kill for a little place like my rentals. They're so easy to keep clean and maintain. My place, meh... it was OK when I was married but way too big now. The cat likes the room to run though.

Good luck and enjoy living alone. It's a lot of fun and generally very peaceful.
carhill is online now   Reply With Quote
Old 21st January 2014, 8:53 PM   #6
Established Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Posts: 4,499
Living alone is the best thing ever. This is the time TO BE selfish, because you're not always going to have the luxury of having your own space to do with what you will.

Tips? Do whatever the hell you want. See your friends when you want to see your friends. Be a hermit when you want to be a hermit. Walk around naked. Watch all your crappy TV shows. Take up the whole bed. Stuff the fridge with all YOUR favorite foods without worrying that a roommate is going to eat it. Take an hour long shower. Better yet, take a bath with the door wide open. Decorate your place however you want. Buy whatever furniture you want. Revel in the fact that you'll never have to pull someone else's hair out of the drain, or do someone else's dirty dishes. Spend all of Sunday cooking/baking without anyone bothering you. Or spend all of Saturday being lazy and watching movies.

I've lived alone for 2 years now and I have yet to experience these "pitfalls" you speak of.

The best thing on the planet is going out with friends, having a loud night, and unlocking the door to my apartment and just collapsing on my comfortable couch, and the dead silence of my apartment. So peaceful.

Last edited by KatZee; 21st January 2014 at 8:56 PM..
KatZee is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd January 2014, 10:19 AM   #7
Established Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: CT, unfortunately
Posts: 444
7 years I've lived alone. It's....comfortable.

Depending on the size of your space, maintaining it will keep you busy after a long day at work. My space is almost too big, a good problem I know - but there's always something to clean up, plants to water, sealing windows in the winter, etc.
And cooking. You'll need to save money on takeout and go to Trader Joe's (avoid Whole Foods if you can, they're expensive) or a Spanish grocery if you're deep in the city.
"Feminism is the radical notion that women are people." (Rebecca West)
mario_C is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd January 2014, 10:33 AM   #8
Established Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: London, United Kingdom
Posts: 18,416
I was 31 I think when I lived alone for the first time and I haven't looked back since. I'm 41 and had periods of living with others but alone is my preference by a long way.

I'm very active. Go to the gym, for a run, do various sports. I also have a lot of interest in culture, love going to exhibitions and stuff, especially with my sister. I see my friends at least once a week for a meal.

The thing is, I don't have a telly so I don't have a routine of veging out in front of it to fall back on. I need to plan each one of my evenings to a degree, at least to have a fair idea what I'll do. This makes all the difference. Keeps me on my toes.
Emilia is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd January 2014, 10:56 AM   #9
Established Member
mammasita's Avatar
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: East Coast - USA
Posts: 3,532
I like to go pee with the bathroom door open so I dont miss any part of my TV shows/movies.
No Contact Guide
mammasita is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 22nd January 2014, 11:33 AM   #10
Established Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 616
I've lived alone for the past 3 years (not by choice). At first, I was very uncomfortable, now I don't even like having friends over. While my place is clean and tidy, I'm just don't like people in my space.

I like coming home and just worrying about myself and my problems. I think I'd go crazy if I needed a roommate.
hippetyhop is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th January 2014, 1:00 PM   #11
Established Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Northern AZ
Posts: 87
Everyone here has already covered all the bases. I lived alone for 6 years and it was awesome. The only thing with living alone is there is nobody there to say "What the hell are you doing?" when you do something weird. There are no social checks and balances.
DorkBreakfast is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 24th January 2014, 1:44 PM   #12
Established Member
radiodarcy's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Northern Virginia, US
Posts: 1,370
I've lived alone for the past 10 years now and I love it! I don't have to worry about someone else's annoying idiosyncrasies or driving them crazy with mine - - of which there are plenty! lol

I don't think I'm in danger of turning into a hermit though. Like Frank, I'm always busy - - going in and out of the apartment - - whether it's running errands, going to the gym, or meeting up with friends.

As introverted as I am, I like being able to get out of the house and (as much as I love them) the craziness of my dog and four cats. It makes my time around people that much more enjoyable.
radiodarcy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 25th January 2014, 9:54 PM   #13
Established Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 251
I've been living alone for over a year AND I LOVE IT. (I'm a 28/F). Before that, I lived with roommates in university for three years and then immediately after school I lived with my now ex-boyfriend for five years. This is my first time living alone as an adult. Growing up I was an only child so I suppose I am also used to my own space and keeping myself entertained.

The freedom is amazing. Like right now I am blaring terrible 80s music and getting ready for a night out. I love being able to do what I want in my apartment. Yes that includes pooping with the door wide open. Amazing. It also means I can dance however I like to when my favourite song comes on the radio.

Like others have said, keep your social life active and you won't feel too lonely. I run outdoors so that always gets me outside on nights I am home alone. I watch a lot of TV & sports so that keeps me occupied. I also have a pet guinea pig to keep me company (and whom I can talk to haha).

I also do groceries in small amounts and enjoy going for walks too. I also try to host my book club as often as I can and I also throw an annual Christmas party.

But I wouldn't worry about bad habits. Everyone has them no matter who they live with. Being alone doesn't make it worse, I don't think. Haha.

And as far as safety - I got to know my neighbours that share the house (I am the basement unit) and my landlord installed a motion light on my back door, and lights along the side of the house. My name isn't on the mailbox at all.
SoonMyFriend is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th January 2014, 2:14 AM   #14
Established Member
Join Date: May 2010
Posts: 13,098
I like living alone. I'd only give up my independence to marry a man I loved, not a live-in boyfriend.
Nothing will change unless you do.
FitChick is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 26th January 2014, 7:21 AM   #15
Established Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 175
Hahaha! Dork Breakfast you hit the nail on the head with the not having anyone around to check you when you are being weird! I've lived alone for 5 years (minus 1 yr with ex) and my biggest fear is that my neighbors can hear me talking to myself!

It's great though Enjoy it.
Real36 is offline   Reply With Quote


Thread Tools
Display Modes


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Dating 5 Tips for Guys, and 5 Tips For Girls love125 Dating 0 8th July 2013 6:50 PM
Still living together broken up, tips needed to cope Louboutin_lover Breaks and Breaking Up 0 18th January 2013 1:47 AM
Tips to me stop living in the past and adapt to the future? Shadow21999 General Relationship Discussion 2 25th October 2012 10:43 PM
I need tips on how to make living with my mother easier jawz666 Family 0 14th July 2010 9:19 PM
Tips for staying sane while still living together? LadyLaughter Separation and Divorce 7 26th January 2007 12:43 PM

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 1:31 PM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.

Copyright © 1997-2018 All Rights Reserved.