My Misfortune

[TheUnthoughtKnown]

Working in my bar the other night, and in walks an old classmate of mine with a group of people, working on some project for a TV company. I did my best to ignore him but he saw me and eventually approached me as I was cleaning tables.

 

He and I never did like each other. In fact, in my class it was known that he and I couldn't collaborate. Every time we tried we were at each other's throats. So when it came time to leave college and progress to Uni, we both had the same first choice. Unfortunately he got in, and I did not. I went on to attend my 2nd choice Uni, which didn't work out and so I left. Now I work in this bar trying to make some money while I figure out what the hell I'm going to do.

 

I was halfway towards accepting the way life had turned for me, until he walked in. Until he approached me with that smug, gloating smile. He threw his good fortune in my face, this project he's working on, and how good Uni was, and asked me what I've been doing. I lied through my teeth and I'm sure he knew it. Now I'm restless again...

 

When I was in college there was at least a sense you would make something of yourself. Now all that's gone and I earn less money in full time work than I did at college! And I HATE barwork. It's boring, doesn't stimulate me at all. And yet it's what I spend most of my f*ckin time doing...it's depressing, it really is.

 

Like so many on here, I'm lost. Barely making a wage and trying to figure out how to achieve all my dreams. I think that's what life is all about - but I'm not progressing at all...

Edited November 26, 2012 by TheUnthoughtKnown
Grammar

[WhatYouWantToHear]

Did you come here looking for pity? Just vent? Or a kick in the butt to get you going?

 

I'm hoping its the 3rd one, so here goes: Boo hoo hoo. Poor you, the choices you have made in your life thus far have landed you in the exact position you are in. Worst of all, you've got no one to blame but yourself.

 

I did my part, now do yours. Let's not have this conversation in 2 years.

[JamesM]

As soon as you accept how life has turned for you without taking responsibility for how it has turned out, you have done your self an injustice.

 

If you are happy with your life, then smile and continue on regardless of what others have done. If you are not happy, then do what you must to get where you want.

 

What struck me most about your post is that you were "halfway towards accepting the way life had turned for me," but did not seem to accept the responsibility for your choices. You made choices along the way big and small that made life what it is.

 

"He threw his good fortune in my face." Really? My guess is that luck had little to do with it. He made many right choices.

 

Napoleon said once that he wanted good generals, but what he really wanted was lucky generals. I read that the other day and shortly later, I read in another article about it being said that President Obama seemed to have a way of creating luck for himself.

 

You do have control over much of your life. The best universities do not mean the most successful lives. The choices we make determine our successes or failures.

 

Now that you have reexamined your life because this rival walked in, make some changes. This guy may have done you a great big favor...provided you take this and become what you want to be.

[TheUnthoughtKnown]

As soon as you accept how life has turned for you without taking responsibility for how it has turned out, you have done your self an injustice.

 

If you are happy with your life, then smile and continue on regardless of what others have done. If you are not happy, then do what you must to get where you want.

 

What struck me most about your post is that you were "halfway towards accepting the way life had turned for me," but did not seem to accept the responsibility for your choices. You made choices along the way big and small that made life what it is.

 

"He threw his good fortune in my face." Really? My guess is that luck had little to do with it. He made many right choices.

 

Napoleon said once that he wanted good generals, but what he really wanted was lucky generals. I read that the other day and shortly later, I read in another article about it being said that President Obama seemed to have a way of creating luck for himself.

 

You do have control over much of your life. The best universities do not mean the most successful lives. The choices we make determine our successes or failures.

 

Now that you have reexamined your life because this rival walked in, make some changes. This guy may have done you a great big favor...provided you take this and become what you want to be.

 

Not everything is in my hands. I think my work in Uni was better and more creative than this guys. Why they chose to let him in and not me may well have been random choice. There were not enough spaces and his name comes before mine in the alphabet. Maybe that's all it took, who knows?

 

Am I not looking for pity, I'm looking to vent. Think I haven't tried? I've emailed several companies repeatedly until my emails started bouncing back - they'd blocked me. I've called places, offered to work for free, offered my skills to people also trying to make their name in the business. I'm sick of being ignored, of banging my head against a brick wall. I'm not alone in this, the bar I work in has no less than 8 post grads. All of whom can't get work either. I managed to get one interview and they tell me I was lucky to get that.

 

Believe me, I don't sit and mope, feeling sorry for myself. I'm out there trying, but it's so goddamn frustrating when you get ignored. This is my f*ckin future here, this is what I want to do with my life. What am I supposed to do when every effort I've made to get my foot in the door is rejected? I'm told to wait and my time will come. I'm in my mid-twenties and I need to start building a life for myself. I can't do that on the meagre wage I earn right now.