Ross MwcFan Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 (edited) Went to the barbers today, the woman who was cutting my hair was talking to me, and when I tried talking back, I just couldn't get my words out properly, it was like my brain wouldn't let me, I kept stuttering, and my speech went quite slurred as well. How embarrassing, whenever I'm like this I feel like I come across as really freaky and that I'll probably freak the other person out. Somehow though, she just replied to what I said and she came across as though she didn't even notice anything. Usually people tend to end up with a horrified look on their face. After getting my hair cut I was walking through town, some woman tried to get my attention who was selling something. It just so caught me off guard, she seemed really friendly as if she knew me, and for a second I was thinking, is that someone I know, who I haven't seen for years or something. She was walking towards me and then stopped and said 'Hi'. I freaked out, I had no idea how to react and I felt really vunerable. When this happened her face went from friendly, happy and warm, to kinda horrified. And she said can I just talk to you for a few seconds. And I had to quickly think of something to say to get out of it, and blurted out 'I haven't got enough time' and I carried on walking. Then I went into a shop, I had a look at some of the games, and as I was walking out a guy in front of me was walking out to. The shop assistant said 'bye' to him, and then as I walked out and made eye contact with the shop assistant, he didn't say anything, he was just giving me this cold hard stare. It's weird how on some days, when I have a bad social experience, and my confidence feel very low and I feel like some unlikeable easy target, that I tend to have several negative social experiences follow. Edited November 8, 2012 by Ross MwcFan Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 I've dealt with this, I wish I knew what to say. The other day at the DMV, a couple of young guys snickered at me, and I have no idea why. They were laughing at several things, and then as I walked past them, leaving, they snickered again as I was level with them. I think my awkwardness showed when I was younger - maybe it still does. I used to worry that shop assistants thought I was trying to shoplift, because some watched me carefully (which made me feel even worse). Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 Ross, having dealt with this many years ago, I found something which worked really well, that being to focus on what I was doing and presuming the noise was directed at someone else. I perfected this by traveling alone to large cities and walking the streets, which were generally full of sidewalk vendors and homeless panhandlers. Friends are still amazed how I can so easily ignore extraneous human noise. It was a skill that had to be learned. 'Bad days' are part of the human equation. We all have them. If you accept that and go with it and I daresay find some humor in it, perhaps tomorrow will be a good day. In any event, it's a day, and a billion possibilities for enriching life experiences that you'd otherwise not have if it didn't come. Good luck. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted November 8, 2012 Author Share Posted November 8, 2012 I've dealt with this, I wish I knew what to say. The other day at the DMV, a couple of young guys snickered at me, and I have no idea why. They were laughing at several things, and then as I walked past them, leaving, they snickered again as I was level with them. I think my awkwardness showed when I was younger - maybe it still does. I used to worry that shop assistants thought I was trying to shoplift, because some watched me carefully (which made me feel even worse). Seems as though when you walked past and they laughed, that there's a decent chance they were just laughing at the other things they were laughing at before you walked past them. Link to post Share on other sites
Anela Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 Seems as though when you walked past and they laughed, that there's a decent chance they were just laughing at the other things they were laughing at before you walked past them. Nope, it was for me. They were quiet a few minutes, and then that happened. I've had the attitude that carhill expresses above; there are a lot of nice people out in the world, too. I've been helped, I've had people talk to me nicely, and I'm more relaxed than I used to be. Not everyone is going to be nice, and it just hit me the other afternoon. We'd been sitting next to them before I was called to the desk - they were just idiots, but it can still hurt, even though I am capable of laughing at myself, and did think of other excuses for them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted November 8, 2012 Author Share Posted November 8, 2012 I wonder what the slurred speech thing is all about? I think it must be down to anxiety/shyness. But when I'm sat there getting my hair cut I don't feel that anxious or shy at all. Plus most other people who suffer from shyness and anxiety don't seem to have any problems with their speech. It's hard to explain, it's as though my mouth turns to jelly while I'm in the middle of saying a word, and before I've finished the word I lose all power in my voice, my voice will totally slow down, sound slurred and will go really quiet. It's definatley psychological, and nothing physical, as I never experience the slurred speech if I'm talking to myself, or with my mum. It's how I'd imagine someone's speech to go if they were in the middle of having a stroke or something. It's very embarrassing, freaky, disconcerting, totally bizarre, yet very insteresting when I think about it at the same time. Link to post Share on other sites
TheUnthoughtKnown Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 I wonder what the slurred speech thing is all about? I think it must be down to anxiety/shyness. But when I'm sat there getting my hair cut I don't feel that anxious or shy at all. Plus most other people who suffer from shyness and anxiety don't seem to have any problems with their speech. It's hard to explain, it's as though my mouth turns to jelly while I'm in the middle of saying a word, and before I've finished the word I lose all power in my voice, my voice will totally slow down, sound slurred and will go really quiet. It's definatley psychological, and nothing physical, as I never experience the slurred speech if I'm talking to myself, or with my mum. It's how I'd imagine someone's speech to go if they were in the middle of having a stroke or something. It's very embarrassing, freaky, disconcerting, totally bizarre, yet very insteresting when I think about it at the same time. I used to be the same way. Those damn charity workers and whathaveyou. I countered it by wearing headphones. I still do it, 7 years later. It gives me this bubble where I feel protected and it gave me the confidence to step out of the bubble occasionally when I feel like it. I don't know what I'd do without my headphones, but I sympathise entirely. I know those days well. Link to post Share on other sites
TheUnthoughtKnown Posted November 8, 2012 Share Posted November 8, 2012 Apologies, I quoted the wrong post. I meant to quote your original one about walking the streets and such. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ross MwcFan Posted November 9, 2012 Author Share Posted November 9, 2012 Well, today when I was talking to someone who I don't really know, it went totally well, no problems with my voice or stringing sentances together. It could be that the reason why it went well was because it wasn't small talk, and it was basically an appointment to talk about work and whatever. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Nightsky Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 One time I was dancing and the DJ told me to get off the floor. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kiss_andmakeup Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 One time I was dancing and the DJ told me to get off the floor. This should be looked at more as an achievement than a failure. Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 Went to the barbers today, the woman who was cutting my hair was talking to me, and when I tried talking back, I just couldn't get my words out properly, it was like my brain wouldn't let me, I kept stuttering, and my speech went quite slurred as well. How embarrassing, whenever I'm like this I feel like I come across as really freaky and that I'll probably freak the other person out. Somehow though, she just replied to what I said and she came across as though she didn't even notice anything. Usually people tend to end up with a horrified look on their face. After getting my hair cut I was walking through town, some woman tried to get my attention who was selling something. It just so caught me off guard, she seemed really friendly as if she knew me, and for a second I was thinking, is that someone I know, who I haven't seen for years or something. She was walking towards me and then stopped and said 'Hi'. I freaked out, I had no idea how to react and I felt really vunerable. When this happened her face went from friendly, happy and warm, to kinda horrified. And she said can I just talk to you for a few seconds. And I had to quickly think of something to say to get out of it, and blurted out 'I haven't got enough time' and I carried on walking. Then I went into a shop, I had a look at some of the games, and as I was walking out a guy in front of me was walking out to. The shop assistant said 'bye' to him, and then as I walked out and made eye contact with the shop assistant, he didn't say anything, he was just giving me this cold hard stare. It's weird how on some days, when I have a bad social experience, and my confidence feel very low and I feel like some unlikeable easy target, that I tend to have several negative social experiences follow. i get that slurred speech and stuttering when i haven't eaten enough and exercise, my personal trainer said something when he noticed i was struggling to speak, and gave me a spoonful of honey......within five minutes or so i felt better......it was something about some levels being too low my brain felt like cotton wool so cant tell you what level he said it was......i was about to pass out.... i have bad days normally when i am injured in some way, socially i can put up a front a veneer to deal with that, i often get paranoid but in my past i have had some trauma which makes me feel that way behind the veneer i know that its my past making me feel that way and not actually the situation i am in, i deal with my bad days by myself and when my good days come i appreciate them more than i would if i didnt have bad days ........its just another day good or bad. I am unlikely to voice what i am feeling when i feel bad.....i tend to just reflect and let it pass and not involve others.What you are feeling what you feel abotu people giving you horrified looks this is paranoia like, and paranoia will pass.......that is one of my mantras.... this too shall pass....the other is.... god give me strength and wisdom to know the difference(god knows the rest probably heard it a million times....its a mix from the serenity prayer he knows it is from a very unique me because its a mix of two lines...)... thats my other mantra.... my mantra for you....i wish you happiness in life.....deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
KathyM Posted November 10, 2012 Share Posted November 10, 2012 What you have is Social Anxiety Disorder--an excessive fear of being scrutinized by others. This can cause the symptoms you described--feeling you can't get the words out, stuttering, slurred speech, extreme anxiety. There is help for this, and you should be talking to your psychiatrist or psychologist about it. The treatment involves taking anti-depressants/anti-anxiety medication, and exposure therapy where you visualize yourself in social situations while practicing relaxation techniques. This will train your body to relax in response to those situations. You can also use those relaxation techniques at the time you are in the social situation to relieve your anxiety. Therapy would also include challenging your cognitive distortions that are producing the fears. There is a lot that can be done to help you, and you should talk to your counselor about this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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