My biggest epiphany of 2012

[Eternal Sunshine]

I am emotional. I used to give too much weight to my emotions. As soon as I felt something, I had to act on it. This was a great recipe for making a mess out of one's life.

 

But then this thought struck me. In 2005, I dated this guy I was crazy about. I mean I was so sure that he was "the one". I *thought* that the guy was the love of my life. I was all consumed by emotions. When we broke up, I remember lying on the floor, crying for hours and feeling like I wanted to die. Now I barely remember that he existed.

 

Emotions are passing. This goes for any other emotion you are feeling. Anger, sadness etc. Now you feel X, tomorrow you feel Y.

 

Given this, making any major life decisions based purely on emotions is crazy.

 

This realization has helped me immensely. Now, whenever I feel something negative, I tell myself that this is only temporary. And just knowing this helps me endure it and not act on it. Just knowing this makes me feel better.

 

When applied to dating, even if I am incredibly drawn to someone, if I see flaws in his character that would make him a bad long term partner, I have no hesitation in walking away.

 

Feel an emotion, let it wash over you, but when deciding if you should act on it, use your logic

[Mme. Chaucer]

I am so impressed! Really. I know without a doubt that "feelings aren't facts." Yes, they are very real and they mean stuff, but we don't have to act upon them.

 

Sometimes it's hard to remember this and to keep it as a guidepost when we're in the thick of a maelstrom of feelings.

[Anela]

Funny: I used to be like this. I try to remind myself now, I go through my usual coping mechanisms, but they no longer work (and I can't always exercise).

 

I know exactly what you're talking about, but I feel like all of my nerves are exposed.