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tips for stabilizing swaying confidence-level?


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I find that some days, I'm so damn positive and confident, I feel like I could do anything - until I notice that I'm stepping into being arrogant. Some other days, I feel so insecure - I feel like hiding my work and myself from the people whose opinion matters to me, and sticking to doing things i know in advance i'll succeed in.

 

The question is how to balance it out and be pretty confident but not arrogant nor too insecure. I find that the above sways impair my life. For example, I had two meetings with the same person on such two different days - on the first one, i was all enthusiastic and willing to work hard, etc.; on the second one, i was all wary, wondering if i should put off some work "to devote sufficient time to it", yada yada; - must've confused the hell out of the guy.

 

I also find that on these confident days, I feel interested in many things and just generally pretty good. Often the day ends badly because I get overly positive, full of plans, but get nothing done and begin to realize that by the evening and get upset. On the insecure days, I become disinterested in everything, excessively existential, etc. Now, some variation is healthy, but I find myself varying too much, I think - I went from being all into theoretical scientific issues to wishing for a simple routine job over 24 hrs.

 

So, any stabilizing tips? Or perhaps ideas why having such swaying is happening, will eventually stop, etc? I don't mind it TOO much myself, but I got worried because of the meetings I mentioned above - I'm afraid of people realizing that I'm unstable like this.

 

thanks!

-yes

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Can you correlate the swings to anything? Food - how much you've eaten or possibly even what? Cycle? Sun or lack of it? Amount of sleep or exercise? Your first bet would be to try to see if there is some sort of predictable pattern.

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that's a very good point, moimeme! i think the insecure days correlate with being tired and not having enough sleep for several days in a row (i need 9 hrs to be well-rested - so much!).

 

i'll try sleeping enough & eating properly and see where it goes.

 

thanks,

-yes

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I have noticed I am not nearly as confident when I'm in need of sleep. When one has enough rest, concentration (among other things) functions at an optimum level, which leads to increased confidence!

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Glad to hear I'm not the only one =)

 

The problem is long to-do lists, and not nearly enough time in a day. Oh well - one can only do so much, right?

 

-yes

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I'm one of the busiest people I know around here - Santa's worldwide naughty and nice lists don't hold a candle really!

 

To keep yourself de-stressed (and sneak some rest into the picture) I find breaking down the to-do lists by High, Medium, and Low Priority helps. I refer to them as Express Mail, Priority Mail, and Regular Mail.

 

Express Mail - do-immediately-or-the phone/electric-gets-shut- off type stuff.

 

Priority Mail - can wait a day or two but don't let it go too long or you'll be out of coffee, clean underwear, etc.

 

Regular Mail - no rush. Whenever.

 

Fortunately for me, I don't usually start work till later in the morning, so I do go to bed kinda late. (This is especially helpful since I'm a night person to begin with) A lot of stuff can get done while everyone else is rushing about trying to make Last Call somewhere!

 

If I come up with any other ideas, I'll post them here as well.

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Good question, as I've never let it get that bad - not yet, anyway.

 

Once the Express Mail is taken care of I start to whittle down the other two by doing the easiest/least time consuming ones first, and work from there.

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For me, it's not so much an issue of getting it done, but getting it done well. I'm a student, and here's a basic example - i can do a reading in half-n-hr, but to get more out of it, i'd need a whole hour. Choices like this put me into a constant limbo/guilt, so even when I am giving myself time to de-stress and rest, I keep on wondering if I'd be better off reading more now, etc.

 

It's just that I'm taking some very interesting courses and when i have time and energy, i find them fascinating, but when i'm tired and have no time, i begin to hate them =(

 

I better go read a paper before going out :p

 

-yes

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I think we all have mood swings, and up and down days. It can be influenced also by your personality type...whether you are more a "feeler" or a "thinker" etc. I am a "feeler" so I have to keep a rein on my emotions and keep viewing things rationally, otherwise I am up and down too much! Sleep is also a factor I agree. And some people are simply more evenly emotionally balanced than others. Try not to stress too much about it...you are aware of it, so you can keep the "low" days in check. Be gentle on yourself, otherwise you'll give yourself something else to worry about! That's what I sometimes do- try and fix my issues, then worry that I have issues and so on... :)

 

I think you are also just more self aware than other people, who experience these things, but don't take the time to think about it!

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