Losing Weight Together But He's Losing Weight MUCH Faster Than I Am

[Audrina]

Hey guys,

 

I'm looking for a little feedback here before I talk to my boyfriend about this, which is probably doing things in the wrong order but that's ok.

 

I was previously very overweight, and still am, but working on getting the weight off. After I lost 85lbs, I needed a break from weight loss and have maintained my current weight for the last 6 months or so.

 

Before my boyfriend and I started dating we used each other as accountability for our diets and exercise ... and lately he's been working out - HARD. And the weight is just dropping off him. I know it's easier for men to lose weight than woman, so I don't feel bad about him losing more weight than I have ... but here's my question...

 

Is it going to matter to him? I'm back to working hard and working out again but my weight loss is much slower. I know my weight wasn't a problem when we met, and he says it isn't a problem now, but there he is getting trimmer and trimmer and I'm still trucking on at a much slower rate.

 

I don't want him to think I'm lazy or have given up, I haven't and we talk about weight loss and eating healthy, but I feel pressure to keep up with his weight loss (put on me by myself).

 

We had about the same amount of weight to lose, 40lbs or so, and I swear he's down 30, and I'm down two. lol, I know I'll reach my goal by the end of the year but still.

 

Any feedback guys?

[KR10N]

Firstly, congrats on your weight loss.

 

Secondly, this is a mistake couples often make. The woman compares herself to the guy or the guy gets cocky. You can't compare your weight loss results. Men naturally have higher metabolisms & more muscle. Women, on-the-other-hand, naturally have more fat. We're both made for different purposes. Men are made to work, women are made to bear children.

 

You'll get to where you want w/ hard work & dedication. Keep at it!

[Audrina]

Firstly, congrats on your weight loss.

 

Secondly, this is a mistake couples often make. The woman compares herself to the guy or the guy gets cocky. You can't compare your weight loss results. Men naturally have higher metabolisms & more muscle. Women, on-the-other-hand, naturally have more fat. We're both made for different purposes. Men are made to work, women are made to bear children.

 

You'll get to where you want w/ hard work & dedication. Keep at it!

 

I definitely understand the difference and I'm not comparing the results, I understand why they are the way that they are.

 

I'm just worried that HE'S going to compare the results and not be patient with my changing body. It's going to take awhile for me to lose the same amount of weight, I just hope he knows it's not going to melt off me overnight like it has him.

[KR10N]

I definitely understand the difference and I'm not comparing the results, I understand why they are the way that they are.

 

I'm just worried that HE'S going to compare the results and not be patient with my changing body. It's going to take awhile for me to lose the same amount of weight, I just hope he knows it's not going to melt off me overnight like it has him.

I can understand that.

 

The closer you get to your goal, the harder it gets.

[Eddie Edirol]

I definitely understand the difference and I'm not comparing the results, I understand why they are the way that they are.

 

I'm just worried that HE'S going to compare the results and not be patient with my changing body. It's going to take awhile for me to lose the same amount of weight, I just hope he knows it's not going to melt off me overnight like it has him.

 

I dont think he will lose patience as long as he sees you working hard to lose the weight if he is truly in love with you. But if he isnt, and you have some signs coming from him that he is losing his attraction to you, well theres nothing you can do about that. Also if you are losing weight for him, that wont help your case. You need to lose weight for you.

[JillMagso]

Yes, focus on yourself. Completely and entirely.

We never get anywhere by comparing ourselves to other people, and once you focus on how you are feeling and not about the weight (are you feeling better in your body? do you feel good?), you will begin to notice differences.

[Els]

I think the issue most (decent) people have with overweight spouses is that they don't even try. If a SO of mine was overweight and trying to lose weight, even if it was going slowly, I would be supportive of it and him.

 

As others have said, it is far easier for a man to lose weight than a woman, all other things being equal. Female hormones naturally cause the body to store fat and resist losing it. In addition to that, men are usually taller, have more muscle mass and have a higher basal metabolic rate (BMR), which allows them to take in more maintenance calories while losing weight. To compound this, when a man and woman both perform muscle-building exercises, the man will gain muscle much quicker, thus increasing his BMR even further.

 

As long as you are doing the best with what you have, it should not be a problem.

Edited July 26, 2011 by Elswyth

[sm1tten]

I think that as long as he sees that you're still working on it, he won't think that you're being lazy or unmotivated. Most people understand that weight loss happens differently for different people/genders/body types. But if you think he doesn't, just sit down and talk to him about it. Maybe check out some of the fitness forums where they talk about this very thing. No matter what, don't let anyone make you feel bad about your progress - taking care of your health is a great thing and you should feel proud of yourself.