Perpetually feeling lousy...borderline suicidal.

[always_searching]

So, I hate whining, and I hate admitting when I feel like $hit, but that's exactly how I've felt for a long while.

 

It started when I was 12--my first suicidal thought--and has gotten progressively worse ever since (roughly 12 years). Many distressful things have happened in my life, but to point out a few: my father and step-mother were abusive (particularly her), and disowned me when I was 14; I thought I was a lesbian from 14 to 23; I finally found my spirituality in Catholicism at 23, yet I am still freaking miserable.

 

I very rarely admit to being unhappy, because I think the majority of people whine far too much about their mundane problems--I mean, come on, in the grand scheme of things, our personal problems usually don't amount to much. So, even when I feel poorly, I am usually smiley, friendly, nice, listen to my friend's problems, offer advice (which most of my friends ironically listen to), etc. However, when it comes to my own problems, I just can't seem to see the bigger picture.

 

I’ve recently lost all sense of myself. I don't see a point. I feel like I have nothing to offer the world: I'm not ignorant, but certainly not intellectual enough to make a huge impact; I'm ugly, but I’m not beautiful (I've been feeling particularly unattractive lately--I've put on some extra weight recently; my hair is a mess; I've been dressing more shabbily than usual; etc. All things I can change, but I just don't seem to have the energy or desire to do so.); I have talents, but am not exceptional in anything; I don't particularly want to procreate; I find very little pleasure in things, others, etc., and what pleasure I do find is fleeting. I just don't see why I should continue on like this.

 

I'm not saying I'm about to go do-myself-in at this very moment--I'm a rational person, and would not make a rash decision, especially about something I can't undo. However, I really don't see any point in continuing on like this. I mean, I can fake a smile and have fun with my friends, etc. all day long, but eventually I have a moment to myself and I think, "How much longer can I pretend that I'm a happy, content, and joyful person, when all I see are hypocritical and self-serving people who seem to indicate to me that life is pointless unless you truly enjoy the materialistic and self-serving pleasures that the world provides?"

 

I am not just coming on here to complain and I don't think I really hold that life is a lost cause, else I wouldn’t be in the self-improvement section.

 

What do I do to stop feeling hopeless, useless, and generally miserable? Oh, and please don't say "alcohol", because I've already tried that, and it only made things worse!

 

[Els]

You mentioned 'recently' - so it didn't always feel like this? Can you pinpoint the transition or when it started getting worse?

 

Therapy is also not a bad idea.

[Meaplus3]

What do I do to stop feeling hopeless, useless, and generally miserable? Oh, and please don't say "alcohol", because I've already tried that, and it only made things worse!

 

 

It's great that you know this becuase it's so very true.

 

Sorry to hear your feeling down. You sound a bit depressed.. and there are plenty of ways to make that better. I know the feeling of beign overwhelmed by lot's in life. I have been going through a ton of odd stuff for the past two years.. stuff that has left me feeling hopless.. and very confused. But, I get myself up and about each day, I excercise, drink lot's of water, eat a well balanced diet.. and this helps balance out some of my emotions. So, sometimes just simple lifestyle changes can help so much. I'm not a big fan of meds.. but sometimes they are neded for a bit. So, you see you have options. NO need to give up hope. Life is not always a cake walk.. and we all struggle. so, hang in there.. and keep venting. I'm behind you.

 

Mea:)

[whichwayisup]

What do I do to stop feeling hopeless, useless, and generally miserable? Oh, and please don't say "alcohol", because I've already tried that, and it only made things worse!

 

ANYONE who tells you to go get drunk so you'll feel better is an idiot! Ofcourse it only makes things worse!

 

Vent away anytime, this is what LS is for..

 

Mea is right, meds can help as a last resort.. I suggest finding a good therapist, someone you can connect with and feel comfortable with to help you sort out what you are feeling inside..

[Lindsey]

I know how you feel! I grew up in a very not so nice life and delt with depression from early teens. I always made it through, family was very important to me. I know the feeling of thinking that not being here would be a better option than living life like it is. I finally sought help from my doctor 2 years ago when I think I was at my lowest. Before that I never thought that medication would be the way to do. The doctor ran a physical to make sure it wasn't something else going on and then put me on an anti-depressant. It completely changed my life! I encourage you to seek out help by a medical professional or at least a therapist. I tried for so many years to deal with it myself and finally got the help I needed. I wish I had done it sooner!

[always_searching]

I'm ugly, but I’m not beautiful (I've been feeling particularly unattractive lately--I've put on some extra weight recently; my hair is a mess; I've been dressing more shabbily than usual; etc. All things I can change, but I just don't seem to have the energy or desire to do so.)

 

Haha, I meant to say, "I'm not ugly, but I'm not beautiful."

 

Anyway, thank you all for your kind words of encouragement.

 

When I say that I've recently lost all sense of self, I mean that even though I was unhappy before, I thought I knew who I was: a woman who was proud to be a woman, who loved women (and some men, so I guess bisexual was the better term), who was a pro-choice feminist, believed marriage was an institution that ought to be done away with, had a certain sense of style, liked certain movies and music, etc.

 

Now, after becoming Catholic, I am a woman who feels like she must ultimately be subordinate to men, not find women sexually attractive unless I want to commit a sin, is pro-life (this is the only practical change in my thought that I currently recognize as being for the better since my conversion), believes marriage is a good institution that cultivates real (or perfect) union between husband and wife, feels guilty if I dress too masculine or even just too nice, and must limit (or even eradicate) my enjoyment of certain music, movies, etc.

 

I love my faith, but I fear I'm losing my sense of self--save being pro-life, I felt better about my old self. I feel all this oppression--like I can't be myself without commiting sin. I think that feeling is just adding to my depression, as I feel like if I were truly a good Catholic, or even just a good Christian, I wouldn't feel like I was being oppressed by various authorities.

 

I feel like I either have to give up my sense of self and adhere to this "right way of living" or give up my faith.

 

I don't want to do either.

 

However, this is just the icing on the cake, so to speak--I've been feeling badly for a long time before this, but recently it's just seemed unbearable.

 

Again, thank you for reading and commenting.

 

[threebyfate]

Many individuals balance religious belief with personal beliefs. One way to do this is to question Church dogma.

 

Dogma is interpretation by flawed human beings of an omnipotent being, in a different time, with a very limited society. Do you honestly believe that mankind reached its pinnacle of enlightenment during the Nicene era?

[sweetjasmine]

I love my faith, but I fear I'm losing my sense of self--save being pro-life, I felt better about my old self. I feel all this oppression--like I can't be myself without commiting sin. I think that feeling is just adding to my depression, as I feel like if I were truly a good Catholic, or even just a good Christian, I wouldn't feel like I was being oppressed by various authorities.

 

I feel like I either have to give up my sense of self and adhere to this "right way of living" or give up my faith.

 

I don't want to do either.

 

The reason why you feel like you're being oppressed by various authorities is because that's how the Catholic church is structured. It's authoritarian by its very nature, and so is the dogma. Some people are okay with that, but you don't sound like you are.

 

You don't have to abandon your faith, but you shouldn't feel obligated to hang on to Catholicism if it's making you miserable and then blaming yourself for feeling miserable when your bad feelings come in part from a conflict between who you are and who the Catholic church wants you to be.

 

Have you examined other forms of Christianity or tried out different churches? You can still hold on to your faith and find a denomination that lets you be comfortable with who you are.

 

You sound depressed, and I'd recommend that you see a counselor. Not because you're insane or damaged or anything like that, but because you've been feeling bad for so long and haven't found a way to fix it. I get the impression that you poured your heart into Catholicism because it made you feel better and gave you a sense of purpose, but it hasn't fixed you. If you're having borderline suicidal thoughts, you need to reach out for a helping hand.

 

I hope you get through this and start feeling better soon.

[skydiveaddict]

I know how you feel! I grew up in a very not so nice life and delt with depression from early teens. I always made it through, family was very important to me. I know the feeling of thinking that not being here would be a better option than living life like it is. I finally sought help from my doctor 2 years ago when I think I was at my lowest. Before that I never thought that medication would be the way to do. The doctor ran a physical to make sure it wasn't something else going on and then put me on an anti-depressant. It completely changed my life! I encourage you to seek out help by a medical professional or at least a therapist. I tried for so many years to deal with it myself and finally got the help I needed. I wish I had done it sooner!

 

 

This is what you need to do^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ There are drugs that will help you

[TouchedByViolet]

I feel like I either have to give up my sense of self and adhere to this "right way of living" or give up my faith.

 

I don't want to do either.

 

Don't look at this issue in black and white. Giving up your sense of self is impossible because that is the only person you can be. I believe any positive higher power will make you feel better on the inside without making you feel self destructive. Faith should build on who you are not try to change that. There are many forms of faith and spirituality, you should consider alternatives. There are plenty of books on spiritual enlightenment ex. The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

Be good to yourself.

[OldEurope]

If Catholicism gives you a sense of center, fine. It has a magnificence to it, and I happen to live among some of its most beautiful churches.

 

But above all, keep your thoughts raised high, find your life's voice, your passion and talent, and kick all out of the way until you feel a clean, clear sense of purpose in life.

 

Never rely on religion for "answers", use religion for a moral standpoint, a backbone to life. All else should be Reason.

 

I urge you to read a book by Ayn Rand: "The Fountainhead". It is about struggle and endurance and coming out on top against enormous odds. A beautiful book.

 

Stay away from ALL drugs, they temporarily hide a problem, they do not solve anything.

 

And above all don't listen to losers like "SkydiveAddict"

 

OE

[sweetjasmine]

I'm sorry, but that above is flat-out wrong.

 

Temporary use of SSRIs can help bring a person out of depression and has saved some people's lives. Whether they're right for YOU is something you have to decide in consultation with a psychiatrist, not in consultation with strangers on the internet who don't know anything about you or about the various medications.

 

Avoiding prescription medication because it's "impure" is absurd and harmful. Would you refuse to take antibiotics if you had a serious infection?

 

And the thought of people using "The Fountainhead" for moral guidance is revolting to me.

[OldEurope]

I'm sorry, but that above is flat-out wrong.

 

Temporary use of SSRIs can help bring a person out of depression and has saved some people's lives. Whether they're right for YOU is something you have to decide in consultation with a psychiatrist, not in consultation with strangers on the internet who don't know anything about you or about the various medications.

 

Avoiding prescription medication because it's "impure" is absurd and harmful. Would you refuse to take antibiotics if you had a serious infection?

 

And the thought of people using "The Fountainhead" for moral guidance is revolting to me.

 

The Fountainhead as moral guidance is a brilliant way to go.

 

And the idea of using drugs to get out of one's problems is what is revolting. Drugs cover up mental issues, they never ever resolve them.

 

An antibiotic is for a physical infection, not for a complex mental state. That is just an idiotic comparison you make. This poster is borderline suicidal, not suffering from a gash in her arm.

 

What is further off putting is for you to come on an Internet forum to someone to go try SSRIs or whatever it is you wish to hawk. Even if I did believe in prescription drugs, which I do not, I would be repelled at the idea of someone making medical recommendations in this anonymous manner, particularly to someone in the state that this poster finds herself in .

 

All of these anti-depressents have turned us, the US, into a nation of depressed addicts, a "prozac nation" so called. You peddle such a solution, versus the idea of someone trying to get a grip on her values and purpose and definition of life, as celebrated by the wonderful, life-affirming novel quoted above.

Edited April 3, 2010 by OldEurope

[CLC2008]

I'm sorry, but that above is flat-out wrong.

 

Temporary use of SSRIs can help bring a person out of depression and has saved some people's lives. Whether they're right for YOU is something you have to decide in consultation with a psychiatrist, not in consultation with strangers on the internet who don't know anything about you or about the various medications.

 

Avoiding prescription medication because it's "impure" is absurd and harmful. Would you refuse to take antibiotics if you had a serious infection?

 

And the thought of people using "The Fountainhead" for moral guidance is revolting to me.

 

I agree with this. If the OP is truly suicidal, it is something she should take very seriously and I hope that she gets the help that she needs.

[always_searching]

Thank you all very much for your responses.

 

I have been avoiding this thread, because sometimes it's easier not to deal with issues than to deal with them, and I've not been feeling as badly lately. Still, it's not right for me to start a thread stating something of this magnitude and not keep those of you who have been so kind to respond updated.

 

First of all, I have tried medication before (when I was living at my father's from 12-14 and then again when I was 20). I do believe medication can help some people, but it hasn't been much help for me personally--I just become entirely lethargic and MORE depressed (the two I've tried were paxil and effexor-xr, and I was even on lithium in conjunction with paxil when I was 13 for a VERY short while, because that stuff was just terrible). However, I believe even those people who are helped by medication should only use it as a temporary fix, rather than a permanent solution. Of course, I don't know that I should be giving anyone advice in this area, since I'm assuming those who are taking medication are "better" in that they are no longer suicidal, whereas I am...so, do what works for you, I suppose.

 

Secondly, I agree that it may be best to think of altering my religious views if it means that my guilt, feelings of subordination, etc. is going to lead me to suicide. However, I do love the Catholic church, and don't want to give it up after only one year of being Catholic! I may just need time to adjust--it is a whole new way of life for me, after all. Plus, it's like a marriage: I made a commitment to the church, and I'm not going to break that commitment because I am having some minor doubts. I may just have to alter my outlook, but, again, if it comes to life and death, I may have to find another church.

 

I agree with this. If the OP is truly suicidal, it is something she should take very seriously and I hope that she gets the help that she needs.

 

Thank you. I do want to state, however, that I'm not one for attention-seeking, nor am I one to state things that I don't truly think/feel/believe to be true. I am very serious in my considerations to end my life. However, again, I wouldn't make any rash decisions--I don't want to hurt my friends and family; I have loans and such that I need to focus on paying off, because I made a commitment to my various lenders to do so; etc. It's not a decision that should be made lightly, and, as a Christian, I debate whether I should even be considering such a decision. However, I do believe I have autonomy--given to me by God--over my own life, which is why I'm not as worried as I probably should be about the spiritual consequences over such a decision.

 

Anyway, to let you all know: I am doing better. I am beginning to realize that I'm only 25 years old (or at least will be, later this month), and have my whole life ahead of me. My goal for this year is to find something purposeful to live for, and live for it! As is stated in the Shawshank Redemption: Either get busy living, or get busy dying.

 

[CLC2008]

Thank you all very much for your responses.

 

I have been avoiding this thread, because sometimes it's easier not to deal with issues than to deal with them, and I've not been feeling as badly lately. Still, it's not right for me to start a thread stating something of this magnitude and not keep those of you who have been so kind to respond updated.

 

First of all, I have tried medication before (when I was living at my father's from 12-14 and then again when I was 20). I do believe medication can help some people, but it hasn't been much help for me personally--I just become entirely lethargic and MORE depressed (the two I've tried were paxil and effexor-xr, and I was even on lithium in conjunction with paxil when I was 13 for a VERY short while, because that stuff was just terrible). However, I believe even those people who are helped by medication should only use it as a temporary fix, rather than a permanent solution. Of course, I don't know that I should be giving anyone advice in this area, since I'm assuming those who are taking medication are "better" in that they are no longer suicidal, whereas I am...so, do what works for you, I suppose.

 

Secondly, I agree that it may be best to think of altering my religious views if it means that my guilt, feelings of subordination, etc. is going to lead me to suicide. However, I do love the Catholic church, and don't want to give it up after only one year of being Catholic! I may just need time to adjust--it is a whole new way of life for me, after all. Plus, it's like a marriage: I made a commitment to the church, and I'm not going to break that commitment because I am having some minor doubts. I may just have to alter my outlook, but, again, if it comes to life and death, I may have to find another church.

 

 

 

Thank you. I do want to state, however, that I'm not one for attention-seeking, nor am I one to state things that I don't truly think/feel/believe to be true. I am very serious in my considerations to end my life. However, again, I wouldn't make any rash decisions--I don't want to hurt my friends and family; I have loans and such that I need to focus on paying off, because I made a commitment to my various lenders to do so; etc. It's not a decision that should be made lightly, and, as a Christian, I debate whether I should even be considering such a decision. However, I do believe I have autonomy--given to me by God--over my own life, which is why I'm not as worried as I probably should be about the spiritual consequences over such a decision.

 

Anyway, to let you all know: I am doing better. I am beginning to realize that I'm only 25 years old (or at least will be, later this month), and have my whole life ahead of me. My goal for this year is to find something purposeful to live for, and live for it! As is stated in the Shawshank Redemption: Either get busy living, or get busy dying.

 

 

Wow that was a quick recovery.

 

 

So happy for you to have finally found yourself.

[always_searching]

Wow that was a quick recovery.

 

 

So happy for you to have finally found yourself.

 

I don't think so. LOL, I'm not recovered--I never have been. I'm just trying to do what I've always done, only more proactively. I still (and probably always will) contemplate death--did you read my first post? Death, though always on my mind, is never something I would take lightly, even at my most suicidal. I am a rational person, as I stated in my first post:

 

I'm not saying I'm about to go do-myself-in at this very moment--I'm a rational person, and would not make a rash decision, especially about something I can't undo.

 

Haha, and I certainly haven't "found myself." I'm still searching. I guess I'm just trying to keep in mind that just because I don't see a point in living, doesn't mean there isn't one.

Edited April 4, 2010 by always_searching

[Engadget]

I feel this way right now, I'm completely lost, I feel like the biggest loser in the world and I can't continue like this. The worse it gets, the more I isolate myself. People don't want to be around someone like me so I choose to keep myself away, and it's a vicious cycle.

 

All I do lately is worry, stress or cry. I have no interest in anything, this semester of college needs to end because if it doesn't, I can't keep doing it.

[always_searching]

I feel this way right now, I'm completely lost, I feel like the biggest loser in the world and I can't continue like this. The worse it gets, the more I isolate myself. People don't want to be around someone like me so I choose to keep myself away, and it's a vicious cycle.

 

All I do lately is worry, stress or cry. I have no interest in anything, this semester of college needs to end because if it doesn't, I can't keep doing it.

 

I'm sorry you're feeling this way as well, Engadget.

 

I don't know you, but I know your struggles and I absolutely understand what you mean by the "vicious cycle", in more respects than one. In regard to relationships, however, maybe try telling your friends how you feel--if they're your friends, they'll stick around even if you isolate yourself. Only two people really know my struggles--my very dearest friends--and if they haven't seen me in awhile, or I haven't answered my phone, etc.: eventually, one of them will come to my front door and bang it down until I get up, get dressed, and get out of the house.

 

Know you are not the biggest loser, and if you ever need to talk, message me!

 

The semester is almost over--my last (except for my thesis), thank God.

[Engadget]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way as well, Engadget.

 

I don't know you, but I know your struggles and I absolutely understand what you mean by the "vicious cycle", in more respects than one. In regard to relationships, however, maybe try telling your friends how you feel--if they're your friends, they'll stick around even if you isolate yourself. Only two people really know my struggles--my very dearest friends--and if they haven't seen me in awhile, or I haven't answered my phone, etc.: eventually, one of them will come to my front door and bang it down until I get up, get dressed, and get out of the house.

 

Know you are not the biggest loser, and if you ever need to talk, message me!

 

The semester is almost over--my last (except for my thesis), thank God.

 

As a guy it's tough, I just don't feel comfortable opening up to other guys about things like that. My ex was the only one I opened up to like that, and now that it's gone...I really don't have anyone.

[skydiveaddict]

And above all don't listen to losers like "SkydiveAddict"

 

OE

 

 

Yea dont listen to losers like me, who have been where you're at right now. Even if there are drugs and therapy that could help you. That's the wrong way to go. Stay stuck and miserable

Edited April 4, 2010 by skydiveaddict

[sweetjasmine]

And the idea of using drugs to get out of one's problems is what is revolting. Drugs cover up mental issues, they never ever resolve them.

 

This is patently false. I've seen multiple instances where the issues were resolved with the assistance of SSRIs, and peer-reviewed scientific studies back this up.

 

An antibiotic is for a physical infection, not for a complex mental state. That is just an idiotic comparison you make. This poster is borderline suicidal, not suffering from a gash in her arm.

 

Chronic depression involves a chemical imbalance. Taking an SSRI to balance it out is no different than taking an antibiotic or birth control.

 

What is further off putting is for you to come on an Internet forum to someone to go try SSRIs or whatever it is you wish to hawk.

 

I'm not trying to hawk anything. IT'S HER PERSONAL DECISION and something that she should decide on after consulting a PSYCHIATRIST. Maybe SSRIs aren't appropriate for her, but it's incredibly harmful to preach to people about how "drugs are evil!" when use of SSRIs has saved some people's lives.

 

Even if I did believe in prescription drugs, which I do not, I would be repelled at the idea of someone making medical recommendations in this anonymous manner, particularly to someone in the state that this poster finds herself in .

 

Jeez, which is why I said she should CONSULT WITH A PSYCHIATRIST.

 

First of all, I have tried medication before (when I was living at my father's from 12-14 and then again when I was 20). I do believe medication can help some people, but it hasn't been much help for me personally--I just become entirely lethargic and MORE depressed (the two I've tried were paxil and effexor-xr, and I was even on lithium in conjunction with paxil when I was 13 for a VERY short while, because that stuff was just terrible). However, I believe even those people who are helped by medication should only use it as a temporary fix, rather than a permanent solution. Of course, I don't know that I should be giving anyone advice in this area, since I'm assuming those who are taking medication are "better" in that they are no longer suicidal, whereas I am...so, do what works for you, I suppose.

 

You're absolutely right that it shouldn't be a permanent solution.

 

Are you going to see a counselor at all? From what you wrote, it sounds like you need some help from a professional, even if you're just going in and talking things out with someone who is impartial and can listen.

 

However, I do love the Catholic church, and don't want to give it up after only one year of being Catholic! I may just need time to adjust--it is a whole new way of life for me, after all. Plus, it's like a marriage: I made a commitment to the church, and I'm not going to break that commitment because I am having some minor doubts.

 

You're a very intellectual person, from what I remember, so let me put it this way. What you wrote above is an example of the sunken cost fallacy.

 

Converting to a new religion is a deeply personal decision. Just don't feel obligated to stick to one denomination or group if you feel it's not right for you.

 

Anyway, to let you all know: I am doing better. I am beginning to realize that I'm only 25 years old (or at least will be, later this month), and have my whole life ahead of me. My goal for this year is to find something purposeful to live for, and live for it! As is stated in the Shawshank Redemption: Either get busy living, or get busy dying.

 

 

I'm glad you're doing better. *hug*

[pureinheart]

So, I hate whining, and I hate admitting when I feel like $hit, but that's exactly how I've felt for a long while.

 

It started when I was 12--my first suicidal thought--and has gotten progressively worse ever since (roughly 12 years). Many distressful things have happened in my life, but to point out a few: my father and step-mother were abusive (particularly her), and disowned me when I was 14; I thought I was a lesbian from 14 to 23; I finally found my spirituality in Catholicism at 23, yet I am still freaking miserable.

 

I very rarely admit to being unhappy, because I think the majority of people whine far too much about their mundane problems--I mean, come on, in the grand scheme of things, our personal problems usually don't amount to much. So, even when I feel poorly, I am usually smiley, friendly, nice, listen to my friend's problems, offer advice (which most of my friends ironically listen to), etc. However, when it comes to my own problems, I just can't seem to see the bigger picture.

 

I’ve recently lost all sense of myself. I don't see a point. I feel like I have nothing to offer the world: I'm not ignorant, but certainly not intellectual enough to make a huge impact; I'm ugly, but I’m not beautiful (I've been feeling particularly unattractive lately--I've put on some extra weight recently; my hair is a mess; I've been dressing more shabbily than usual; etc. All things I can change, but I just don't seem to have the energy or desire to do so.); I have talents, but am not exceptional in anything; I don't particularly want to procreate; I find very little pleasure in things, others, etc., and what pleasure I do find is fleeting. I just don't see why I should continue on like this.

 

I'm not saying I'm about to go do-myself-in at this very moment--I'm a rational person, and would not make a rash decision, especially about something I can't undo. However, I really don't see any point in continuing on like this. I mean, I can fake a smile and have fun with my friends, etc. all day long, but eventually I have a moment to myself and I think, "How much longer can I pretend that I'm a happy, content, and joyful person, when all I see are hypocritical and self-serving people who seem to indicate to me that life is pointless unless you truly enjoy the materialistic and self-serving pleasures that the world provides?"

 

I am not just coming on here to complain and I don't think I really hold that life is a lost cause, else I wouldn’t be in the self-improvement section.

 

What do I do to stop feeling hopeless, useless, and generally miserable? Oh, and please don't say "alcohol", because I've already tried that, and it only made things worse!

 

 

I feel this way right now, I'm completely lost, I feel like the biggest loser in the world and I can't continue like this. The worse it gets, the more I isolate myself. People don't want to be around someone like me so I choose to keep myself away, and it's a vicious cycle.

 

All I do lately is worry, stress or cry. I have no interest in anything, this semester of college needs to end because if it doesn't, I can't keep doing it.

 

 

(((((((((((((hugggssss))))))))))) to both you guys...and I too feel the way you guys do...man...

 

But I know the best thing to do it to pray for others so that we ourselves might be healed.

 

I speak healing over both of you, in Jesus name....