iwanttolive Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 I just resigned without a job because I simply couldn't go on. 4 months of more than 12-hours of work everyday, constant adrenaline rush to meet legal deadlines, living in fear of making mistakes because large amount of money was at stake, I had had enough. I don't know why I'm having uncontrollable anxiety attack. Maybe because I still have to go through my 1 month notice period and I totally hate this place. Maybe because I haven't found a new job. The thing is my anxiety is uncontrollable. My hands and feet are cold as I'm typing this. I'm feeling dizzy and I'm feeling tired all day long. I lost interest in many things. I keep telling myself I'm lucky just to be alive unlike some whose lives are over and have no second chance to live like Britanny Murphy, etc. I keep reminding myself that this is a toxic workplace and I should be elated that I'm living. Since I have resigned, I should feel relaxed, there's nothing my employer cannot do. There are still plenty to do in this 1 month notice period. I'm feeling burnt-out yet I have to finish all my tasks because I want to be a responsible employee. But I'm feeling like I can't go on anymore after 4-months of torture. I keep telling myself I'm lucky I'm not living in disaster zone like Haiti. But all the optimistic thoughts have lost their effects. Any idea why? And what am I to do now? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Mental health is so important! It's good you're leaving this job. You will find another one, one that is less stressful and something that you enjoy. Try doing yoga and deep breathing, that will help relax your mind, body and lessen your anxiety. Stop drinking caffeine for a while, cut down on your sugar intake, also stay away from white pasta! If you are going to eat pasta, try whole wheat or kamit. Journal your thoughts. Write down what you're feeling and thinking, and why. Another suggestion is, read up on anxiety and try to understand what it is. Alot of what you feel, the physical stuff mimicks other 'illnesses' but the truth is, it's ALL anxiety. It's scary and awful! I know exactly how you are feeling as I suffered from an anxiety disorder too, but it's under control now and it's rare I feel really bad. Afew good books - Dr David Burns, The feeling good book. Sam Obitz - Been there, done that, try this. Also, any Claire Weekes books are helpful. Look into CBT (cognitive behaviour therapy) to help you cope with your anxiety. Maybe it's hormone related, or something from your past, or it's worries about the future, fears, etc.. Doing CBT is talk therapy where you learn to control the anxiety, develop coping techniques to help you, and exposure therapy so you can face whatever fears or what is setting your anxiety off. It's worth going! I can promise you, if you go, your life will improve so much. Hope this helps. Keep posting. Link to post Share on other sites
Cora Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Wow, I could have written this because this is exactly how I felt with my old job and even sometimes with my new one. I panic all the time and wonder if I'm doing this or that correctly...and OMG what if I make a mistake? My heart starts racing and I'll start sweating and I just feel very very nervous....almost can't breathe. It's horrible I tell you! In my case, it doesn't just end in the workplace. I have anxiety almost all the time....especially in any social situation. I think I must have some sort of social phobia or something. Even when I'm driving I get really panicky because I dunno...I have almost like this fear of driving I guess. Sometimes it's really bad and other times I can keep it under control. I used to lose many nights of sleep over all of this. I literally dreaded work the next day because I knew it would be the same thing all over again. I would just toss and turn all night feeling sick to my stomach about the following day. So not only was I extremely tired the next day, but was completely on edge! I really feel for you because I can relate more than you know. It's rough! Link to post Share on other sites
Author iwanttolive Posted January 22, 2010 Author Share Posted January 22, 2010 Hi whichwayisup... Thanks for your assurance! OK, I SHALL TRY YOGA! I feel a little better just thinking about it I have journalled my thoughts since yesterday. Then I left my diary on my office table! Not sure if the Boss saw it I hope not.. I'll go to library later after work and try to find David Burn! CORA, i'm feeling exactly the same way! I duno how some people can remain calm over mistakes. I will keep on thinking about it and all the possible consequences, worst case scenarios, 1001 ways to eacape, etc etc and ruin my weekends! I bought an expensive handbag and I have not used it until now because I feel my days would be bad and i'm UNQUALIFIED to carry it! Can u believe it??? Sigh... Thanks so much guys! I've two interviews next week. Do pray for me if you believe in prayer If not, I know I have your best wishes Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 I will keep on thinking about it and all the possible consequences, worst case scenarios, Behaviour thinking.. What purpose does this serve? When you have these thoughts, what does it do for you in a positive way? My guess is nothing, except make your anxiety sky rocket and make you feel worse. USE that handbag and be happy you bought it! Try not to allow your mind to be negative! I know, easier said than done. Glad to hear you're going to buy the book. It'll help you. Read up on CBT, google it and when you feel ready, seek out a therapist who can help you through this. The interviews - You'll do great! Have confidence in yourself and your abilities! I know you can do this and come out with a smile on your face. Link to post Share on other sites
SarahRose Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 whichwayisup is spot on with their suggestions. I highly highly recommend claire weekes books. yoga and starting a daily meditation practice. Also try EFT (google it) I highly recommend that too. Start a Buddhism practice and practice mindfulness, the 4 noble truths, and the 8 fold path and your life will change for the better. Find a good naturopath and have them mix you an anti anxiety herbal remedy. Works wonders and no nasty side effects like anti depressants Link to post Share on other sites
dazzle22 Posted January 22, 2010 Share Posted January 22, 2010 Our bodies have "fight or flight" hormones that get pumped out of the adrenal glands when we are in a stressful situation. Imagine a burglar in your house. Same way you feel now right? Only problem is, the body is not equipped to CONSTANTLY pump out the adrenaline, norepinephrine and cortisol, but when you are TRAPPED in a pressure cooker job, this is what the body does. So it is like the accelerator on a car. Now it is "stuck" on pedal to the metal and you can't turn it off and you are feeling totally burned out. Your adrenals are essentially 'pooping out' and you feel reved yet exhausted. Very important to do what you are doing and listen to your body, because the road back from this is long and uphill. Don't be so conscientious right now. You have already resigned. Like I tell some of my patients- if no one is going to die if you don't get to your tasks, don't let your boss 'guilt' you into overworking at this point. Link to post Share on other sites
Author iwanttolive Posted January 25, 2010 Author Share Posted January 25, 2010 Dear all, thanks once again! Minus the public holidays and my boss' one week business trip, i've only 10 more days to be in this hell *Sigh of relief* don't let your boss 'guilt' you into overworking at this point. SHE'S DOING JUST THAT TO ME NOW! She's piling me stuffs to do, every now and then! I must survive 10 more days... Link to post Share on other sites
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