wierdmunky Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 I feel like I'm at a place where I am now comfortable with doing this, but I have absolutely no idea how especially when I start to go into a "panic" mode with different people, and are not sure how to relate. What are good icebreakers? How do u feel comfortable? Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 The easiest way to combat shyness is to talk to everyone and anyone. One of the best places to do this, is in lineups or grocery stores, where it's non-threatening. Be observant of what they're looking at or what's in their grocery cart. Make a funny comment and they'll respond. Link to post Share on other sites
Trey Walter Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Hi wierdmunky! I agree with Trialbyfire. Just go out and talk to people, this way you'll get comfortable talking to people. It can be as easy as this. You could also learn something about body language and start using a more confident body language. People will perceive you differently and will be more likely to start a conversation with you. (Of course, you can't fake all of your body language, but some adjustments also affect your feelings in a positive way.) Just one more thing: Don't take yourself too seriously. Good luck, Trey Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 I feel like I'm at a place where I am now comfortable with doing this, but I have absolutely no idea how especially when I start to go into a "panic" mode with different people, and are not sure how to relate. What are good icebreakers? How do u feel comfortable? Hey Wierdmunky. I have recommended this book to so many that I'm starting to feel like a broken record. Anyways, pick up a copy of "People Skills" by Dr. Robert Bolton. Did wonders for me and if it can work on me then it can work on anyone. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 How do u feel comfortable? i just ask questions and let the other person do most of the talking. people LOVE to talk about themselves. also i listen intently and if i'm not listening i pretend like i am by nodding my head once in a while and saying mmm-hmmm occasionally (sometimes i'll say "thats highly significant") Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Something else to remember is that if you start to chat to someone then they quite possibly feel relieved/glad that someone else initiated the conversation. We can all find it tough talking to someone new but it does get easier with practice Link to post Share on other sites
lupa Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 The best line, works with anyone: "Hi!" Sometimes you follow it up with "I'm [name], what's your name?" Usually after the hi with a little smile (not like psychopathic Joker smile) you can tell immediately if you are going to talk. Amazing how difficult it is to start doing that, and how easy it is once you actually do it. I say hi to almost everyone now, and make sure to make eye contact on the street usually, and give a little "hello" with a nod. it becomes very natural, like everyone else said. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 sometimes i'll say "thats highly significant" Or you could take Father Ted's advice: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6765799421338733335# :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
Odyssey Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 Or you could take Father Ted's advice: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-6765799421338733335# Nice find. (the milk cart episode's rendition of Speed, is still my favorite). Link to post Share on other sites
Odyssey Posted September 21, 2009 Share Posted September 21, 2009 back on topic... ...i also find a lot of old people the most talkative. You might have trouble stopping them, once they get going though. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wierdmunky Posted September 21, 2009 Author Share Posted September 21, 2009 hello! Thanks for all the responses. I totally agree with the body language thing, its like the more relaxed I am body wise, the more I am approachable, but it IS kind of conflicting being conscious of that and trying to be relaxed. I'm slowly having to let go of all worry to get there. I definitely like the practicing on random people, and feeling out the responses. I'm mostly going to be at school doing that, and its different because I think everyone has their issues with that too there... I'll just have to ignore the "why are u talking to me looks". I'll try again tomorrow, and definitely checking out that book at barnes and noble. Link to post Share on other sites
Author wierdmunky Posted September 22, 2009 Author Share Posted September 22, 2009 i just ask questions and let the other person do most of the talking. people LOVE to talk about themselves. also i listen intently and if i'm not listening i pretend like i am by nodding my head once in a while and saying mmm-hmmm occasionally (sometimes i'll say "thats highly significant") nice. I use "interesting" but yours is better, takes up more time : ) Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted September 22, 2009 Share Posted September 22, 2009 I honestly can't break down how or why conversations with strangers work but the more you do it, the more you'll get the hang of it. Everyone has a different style of communicating so the easiest way is to mirror their style, so they feel a comfort level with you. As something that might also help, the average response in a casual, verbal conversation, is under 10 seconds. Most people don't have the patience to wait much longer and will either lose interest and wander off or try to fill the space with another response. Test it some time. Link to post Share on other sites
Glenn5 Posted October 2, 2009 Share Posted October 2, 2009 Just be yourself and talk to the person like they're already your friend! But don't be to friendly! I had the same problem but now this person is my best friend because of that! Link to post Share on other sites
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