My boyfriend might be crazy (Literally: Paranoid Delusions...will be hospitalized??)

[twistedgreen]

For anyone that read my previous post about my boyfriend, it's the same bloke. For anyone that reads through all this, thank you!! please help, 'cause I am totally freakin' out!!

 

I have known this person for over a year and during that time have spent a lot of time together: he has spent days at a time at my house, sometimes over a week. He has always seemed pretty stable, being kind of egocentric, childish, aloof and antagonistic, while vacillating between wanting and not wanting a relationship with me.

 

A couple weeks ago, everything changed. He was trying to argue philosophically with me but he was having difficulty understanding what I was saying. Thinking I denied that everything is temporal, he threw my roommate's bowl across the room, in an attempt to smash it and prove its temporality. I was horrified by this. He rudely made his way out, as if it was I who had done the offensive thing. He tried to contact me almost immediately to apologize, but I was so shooken up that I withdrew from him and, since it seemed that he didn't think his behaviour was any big deal, broke up with him over the internet a few days later.

 

After giving me only a brief cooling-off period, he wanted to meet me again, under the role of "aquaintances", since we agreed we could try that "after a while." That was last Saturday. Within hours he was flirting with me, and when that fell flat, he was unabashedly apologizing for everything, asking me to take him back. And I did. And he has begun treating me like he has never treated me before. He has decided he "loves" me. He pictures us being together forever, (imagines going to the same graduate school, his getting a vasectomy and our adopting children, for example,) although he is okay with not-forever, as long as I am with him spiritually. He is become extremely affectionate, caressing, giving loving looks, complementing, trying to do anything to make me happy, and treating me like royalty. I am not playing hard-to-get or anything like that, mind. Now, this is all a little disturbing, not because I don't enjoy being treated like an angel, but because it's quite the drastic change from his previous self. It's no big deal though, when you consider how else he's changed:

 

Starting last Saturday (same time as the love-bug hit him) he realized "they" were watching him. It started out that every noise in other apartments in my building were gunshots or bombs. His skin was hot and his hair was falling out, so there must have been a nuclear war and we were all dying. We were all going to die from this war with Iraq. We were all going to die tonight. He was going to die. He really believed it. He called his family to chat with them, before he died. He felt he probably had cancer. He wanted to call 911. He called his dad and asked him to drive him to the hospital. His dad arrived, but he changed his mind and got some food at Wendy's with his dad instead. The next day, he knew that all the people on the TTC were talking about him, saying he was high on drugs. He had to get off the TTC, so he got a cab and the driver told him all about how the CIA caused the WTT attack and that there is no real war in Iraq. He told me he understood what was really going on now and that the media was covering it up, and to shhhhhhhhh! because they will kill us if we say anything.

 

That night, same thing as last: he knew he was going to die. Tonight. I told him to call Telehealth, which is a diagnostic health service over the phone where we live. He described symptoms and they said they would send an ambulence. An ambulence arrived and he went down to meet them. I recieved a call from the ambulence driver telling me that my boyfriend had changed his mind and wanted to come back to my home. The ambulence driver seemed surprised that I didn't mind if my boyfriend wanted to come back inside. I talked to my boyfriend and told him he may as well go to the hospital so he can know everything is okay. When he came back in the morning, he told me the ambulence driver and the cop with him were threatening him, and forcing him to stay on the ambulence against his will. They took an electrocardiogram reading for "their" (evil) purposes and dropped him off at the (good) hospital. Apparently the (good) psychiatrists in the hospital had a hidden camera in the washroom and watched him urinate into a cup. They gave 'good' medication, a sedative ("to help me sleep!") and a prescription for an anti-psychotic (really just a placebo to throw 'evil them' off track).

 

He tells me that these two sides, no longer the CIA but some secret information organizations, are competing for him. The evil one, he concluded today, is not necessarily evil, because everyone is good and everyone is just "Seeking salvation". They want him because he's so intellegent, and he's on the verge of discovering something mathematically that could change the world. Show the world beauty, bring the world salvation. He says the hospital psychiatrist wants him to stay "for a little while" and he says he know it will maybe LOOK like he is a psychiatric inpatient but it's not that, at all. He expects I will see him on TV, where he will be sitting in an Iraqui oil plant that's being bombed, and die. But, of course, he won't really die, because there is no real war in Iraq, and this will be in an elaborate hollywood studio. He is almost certain he is the special one that the government needs to bring about this change.

 

I don't know what to do! It sounds like he is about to voluntarily commit himself to an institution, and I don't know if they think he is dangerous or what. I don't know what's going on or what to do, but I care about him and I want to do the best thing. I don't think his family or friends have any idea what's going on either, although he tells me he knows they do, which they communicate to him using "double messages" so it sounds like a normal conversation, although it's really not.

 

ANY ADVICE APPRECIATED! ACK!!!

[Tony T]

Unless he's putting you on (pretending), he suffers from some variety of Schizophrenia...yes, the paranoid type.

 

Schizophrenia is a very tough disease to treat but there are drugs and treatments that work for some people.

 

There is simply no way for you to have a relationship with him at this time...or for a long time for that matter. At least you could not have a healthy or fulfilling relationship with him. It is not selfish to withdraw from him at this time considering he has a serious psychological and biochemical illness that may require years to treat...and he may have it for a lifetime.

 

He needs to be evaluated by a psychologist and a psychiatrist. These must consult with his family and advise them of the serious nature of this illness. Then a treatment regimen will follow. Most insurance companies will not cover extensive psychiatric treatment required of someone with this malady so if his folks don't have a lot of money, he may end up in the hands of government.

 

In any case, be sure his family is aware of this problem. Unfortunately, they may go into denial. Nobody wants to have a son or brother who is schizophrenic. Once they hear it from medical people, hopefully they will fully support him in whatever course of treatment is necessary.

 

Meanwhile, you don't have to be around to watch this take place. It won't be pleasant and you have too much life ahead of you to bog yourself down in this kind of thing.

[Paul]

Hello twistedgreen,

 

What you are describing is a crisis situation and extends beyond the scope of these forums. Contact your local emergency or crisis number. In most localities in the United States, you can reach the appropriate people by dialing 911. Specify that your friend is delusional and is at risk. This will only get worse and you need to take action now. Ask for information on what you can do to ensure that he is committed to an institution where they will treat him appropriately and on what the proper procedure is in your locality to have someone committed on an involuntary basis.

 

Get help now! This isn't something you can help him with on your own. As Tony stated, his family appears to be in denial. Do not, under any circumstances, put yourself in a situation where you are alone with this person. Your personal safety and life are at risk.

 

Best wishes,

Paul

[twistedgreen]

I understand -- he is being seen by a psychiatrist, and is going to start taking anti-psychotics.

 

Of course, just because I SHOULD pull away emotionally, doesn't make it very easy to do. Underneath lies the same person - for brief moments, that's all too apparent.

 

Wow, can things ever change, and very suddenly.

[Pookette]

I went through the same thing you did. The person in question was my fiance. He suffered from paranoid schizophrenia brought on (I think) by using Ecstasy and various other drugs. He was hospitalized 3 seperate times for the same thing.

 

The first time, he was brought to a local hospital by his father and was spouting all kinds of religious-themed things like "The devil is coming to get you all" and that sort of thing. He was hospitalized in a mental ward for about 2 weeks. He was put on many anti-psychotic drugs. They worked for a while and he seemed to be normal until he stopped taking his meds.

 

The second time was many months later. He and I were at my parents' house because I was worried about my safety. My father and I brought him to the hospital again. The doctor there gave him a shot of Benadryl to calm him. He then proceeded to punch the doctor as hard as he could in the face. The police were called and he was transported back to the mental ward.

 

The third time we were out on vacation in a remote spot when his problem came back. That is when he told me he was going to strangle me. I was verrrrrrry scared and took the car keys and cell phone and locked my self in a shed. I called my parents and they came to get me. Then we proceeded to bring him to the same mental ward where I had him committed. It is one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.

 

While he was in the hospital, he began to think I had cheated on him with his friend, which is not true. He released himself after his 72 hour hold was over. He called his brother to come pick him up, which was a shock for me because he never told me what he was going to do. I called him and he broke up with me.

 

I've gone through many emotions in the past few years due to that. I hope you recognize the very real danger you may be in and if you do decide to keep up relations with him, BE VERY CAREFUL!!!! PLEASE!!! I almost lost my life because I cared about this person and wanted to help him. Now I am married to a wonderful man who is helping me with these nightmares and feelings and emotions. Please respond to this and let me (and us) how things are going. Sorry it's so long, but it feels good to try to help someone out in need.

[Ant24]

You know, I've read loads of articles in women's mags (when you are in search of answers about the opposite sex, you read some stuff this opposite sex reads ), that suggested that you should avoid guys with ''dangerous signs'', no matter how cool they seem to be on the surface or on the first couple of dates. And any person with basic social skills can detect that someone is ''sub-normal'', that he has some issues he can't resolve alone and being involved with him will make only matter worse, since he will be overly attached to you.

 

Bottom line, any reasonable looking and normal female can find many guys, so, If someone's ''broken'' like a corrupt .zip file, don't bother with him and find someone else.

 

(by the last sentence I refer to a love relationship, not that you should abandon a simple friend if he has some problems)

[Tony T]

YOU WRITE: "Bottom line, any reasonable looking and normal female can find many guys, so, If someone's ''broken'' like a corrupt .zip file, don't bother with him and find someone else."

 

Same goes for reasonable looking and normal males. I totally agree with you but there are a few who visit this forum who take exception with this position.

 

I think the total picture should be examined and if there is already a strong bond which has developed, the person's doctor should be consulted for a prognosis of the development of the disease and time for stabilization. Even if the person gets better, the highs and lows could be very tough. There are many variables where neurological disease is concerned.

 

If there is no real bond yet, I'd say get out of Dodge real fast!

[moimeme]

While it is wise to be cautious, I wouldn't be fearful unless he begins to accuse you of being with 'them'. Yes, some paranoid schizophrenics are dangerous but most of them are more so to themselves.

 

I have been researching disorders of late and there sure are a whole lot of ways one's brain can go off the tracks.

[Tony T]

YOU SAY: "I have been researching disorders of late and there sure are a whole lot of ways one's brain can go off the tracks."

 

You can sure say that again!!!

 

"I have been researching disorders of late and there sure are a whole lot of ways one's brain can go off the tracks."

[Ant24]

Oh, the mind is so fragile.

 

My post was obviously referring to the start of a relationship.