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Looking for motivation!

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Old 9th August 2017, 2:57 PM   #1
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Looking for motivation!

Hey Guys and Gals!

Like many others, I have struggled my entire adult life with my weight. After my 2nd child I was very heavy. At age 26, I didn't want to be heavy anymore, so I started working out, seeing a doctor, eating better, and lost about 100lbs in the course of a year. I was ecstatic, healthy and happy. I kept the weight off for about 3 or 4 years before life got in the way and I had a tumultuous 4 or 5 years where over time I gained it ALL back.

When things got a little better in my life, I chose to try a fad diet which was really restrictive, and I lost about 60 lbs. As soon as I got off the diet my weight skyrocketed again.

So here I am at 36, overweight again, and coming out of a pretty stressful time in my life, and I want to lose the weight again. But I don't want to do some fad diet. The most success I had keeping weight off was losing it slowly and the right way.

The problem's hard! harder than I ever thought it would be at this age to try and lose weight. I work from home, and I am afraid I've got this insane (even according to my boss) need to feel like I should be in front of my computer from the time I wake up until it's time to pick up the kids and get back on mom duty.

It's such a crappy feeling to want something and not have the motivation to do it. I'm not sure what I am really looking for here. Maybe some ideas to keep me from feeling so guilty about taking a couple hours to go to the gym 3 or 4 days a week. How can I boost my motivation so I don't use the "I have to work" excuse to get out of doing what I should be doing for myself??

I don't want to give up drinking (what can I say I have two kids, one of which is a new teenage girl). I'm willing to give up high calorie alcohol and beer, but I really enjoy my wine and vodka and I believe that trying to deprive yourself of something you love completely will result in failure.

I am a stress and depression eater, and the longer I go without doing something about this, the more stressed and depressed I become, which is creating a really vicious circle.

I also am not a work out at night girl. I need to get it done earlier in the day and have it over with. 8:30 - 10 or so would be ideal for me, but then I get anxious that if I'm away from my computer for that long people are going to see me as a slacker.
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Old 9th August 2017, 4:43 PM   #2
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The hardest part about eating habits for me is lack of positive reinforcement. It takes time to notice changes in body composition, but I need positive reinforcement now. I'm not a monk.

I write what I eat/drink during the week in an iphone note, and I transfer it to a page in a 3x5 inch composition book I have.

It helps me, because it takes a daunting and nebulous problem ("eat better"), and turns it into a smaller one ("make the page look pretty this week").

When I get to the end of the week, I can look at the page, and it's a THING and an ACCOMPLISHMENT. And I get to feel good about myself. If I didn't eat well enough, I can "turn the page" and there's a blank new one.

If you're anything like me, you're not going to like beer and fried chicken less. That's not happening. But you already like winning, so re-framing the challenge as little victories goes a long way.

With the stress eating, one's got to avoid the moment of weakness. IME, part of that is never getting TOO hungry. That's where working at home might be a nice advantage for you - easier to graze 5 or 6 times throughout the day rather than eat 2 giant meals!

The other tip for stress eating I can think of is have alternatives ready when you need them. For me, the stress eating problem is the "come home at 8PM and there's nothing to eat" scenario. For you it sounds like it's the "dealing with kids and work all day and just want a drink" one.

If you're gonna have an alternative to the drink, you have to get it or make it available before you get to the actual decision point.... because when you get there you sure as hell won't pass up the drink.
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Old 9th August 2017, 7:58 PM   #3
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Walk or run or ride a bike instead of going to the gym. Cut back on the alcohol. Let it be a treat and not a habit. It makes you hungry. You don't need a gym to do exercises either. I mean, remember gym class in school, jumping jacks, situps, some simple weights? It just doesn't have to be 2-3 hours. It can be 30 minutes but vigorous. On the day you clean house and run sweeper, you can maybe even skip one. If you go swimming in the summer, you can skip one. So one day to calisthenic, next day, run or long walk, next day, calisthenics, next day bicycle or swimming, etc.

But you can't lose weight without cutting food way back and that includes alcohol. I've lost 100 pounds a handful of times. I can't do it now because of torn up knee, but I still do my physical therapy exercises just about every day and get on a stationary bike once a week.
"I care not much for a man's religion whose dog and cat are not better for it." -- Abraham Lincoln
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Old 10th August 2017, 1:56 AM   #4
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Forget about fad diets and diet foods.

I lost about 3.5St over 6 months back when I was about 34 and have kept it off (I'm now 48).
I tried diets for years and always lost and gained.

This time I bought no diet/light/fat free foods and switched to the full fat versions of everything. I also didn't cut alcohol at all.
Plus, during the time of losing weight I didn't exercise much at all - I wanted my focus to be on the eating part - I was a comfort eater and used to over eat a lot

I listened to my stomach so ate when I was hungry and learned (very quickly over just a matter of days) to recognise when I was full.
The full fat food fills you up more than sugar filled diet food and as a result my stomach shrank to allow less volume.

Since losing the weight I get o a point where I am so full I cannot eat another bite - so I stop.

It's been the only thing that helped me lose the weight and keep it off and I eat exactly what I want when I want.
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Old 10th August 2017, 9:27 AM   #5
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Thanks guys!

I'm going to start the couch to 5 k as a starting point. It's something I can do at home or on the treadmill at the gym if I get there and it only takes about 30 minutes for a session.

I think once I finish that accomplishment, I'll be able to add more exercise with weights, feel better about myself that I WANT to eat better, and get myself out of this funk.

All your ideas are great!
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Old 10th August 2017, 2:22 PM   #6
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I get you - weight is difficult to keep off for many.

I do think perhaps its easier to focus on excerise and perhaps eating a bit healthier than eating less.

I found that going to the gym - even a close gym took too much time. I invested slowly over the years in equipment for a home gym. Esepcially if you work from home - you can even set up a laptop on a treadmill - or take a 30 min break in your sweatpants to work out - I mean no one is going to see or smell you afterwards going back to work !

A treadmill or an Airdyne bike would be a good investment (you can get used) - and a basic simple flat bench and a few dumbbells.
“Now I see that I will never find the light unless like a candle, I am my own fuel”
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Old 10th August 2017, 3:45 PM   #7
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I also work from home most of the time, and I've found that if I do my workout first thing in the morning it feels like less of an encroachment on my workday. (Somehow if I work for a couple of hours and then workout/shower it seems like a bigger time suck than if I just wake up, workout, shower, and then start working. I don't know why that is.) Sometimes it can be tough to get motivated that early, but if you can find something you enjoy doing it makes it that much easier.

I don't waste time driving to the gym -- I work out with DVDs and/or weights at home or I go running, and then I shower and get on with my work. There are loads of workout videos available on You Tube, and bodyweight and cardio workout plans on Pinterest as well that you can tap into for variety.

The other thing you add into your routine, which really does make a difference, is a 2 or 3 mile walk around the neighborhood every evening.
In the end one loves one's desire and not what is desired. -- Nietzsche
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