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lifeasiknowit

I know this seems like a really stupid question, and I know the answers to this will be no, no, and no! I think I just need people who I don't know and are hence, unbiased to tell me the truth.

 

I'm 24 yrs old, and I have a long history of insecurity and low self esteem issues. For a while now, I've been obsessing over my weight. I weight myself around a dozen times a day, and am trying to lose weight. I was last month, at 115 pounds and am 5 feet and 4 inches tall. In one month I've lost about 5 pounds and would like to lose more. I feel chubby and I've noticed stretch marks on the side of my stomach and it's making me nervous. Two years ago, I was 102-105 lbs, and I fear that I'll be one of those people who are skinny at youth, but turn fat later on.

 

My strategy is to lose weight now, to compensate for any weight gain in the future. I'm so self conscious about my weight that I won't wear tight tops that emphasize my belly. Is there a healthy way to lose weight? The last few days I tried eating as little as possible, but then I felt really weak, and I don't think I have the will power to go that far. This obsession with weight loss is a result of my fear of gaining weight, so mostly I'm just wanting to maintain my weight at 105 lbs.

 

Any advice?

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You're going to make yourself sick if you don't eat.

 

Of course there are healthy ways to lose weight, but it doesn't sound like you need to lose weight. It sounds like you need to lose some fat that's accumulated around your belly (if it really has and you aren't just paranoid).

 

Start working out - both cardio for general fitness and calorie burn (running, cycling, roller-blading, tennis, dancing, anything active that makes you sweat), plus some weight lifting to build muscles which will burn more calories throughout the day. Keep in mind, muscle weighs more than fat, so while your overall weight may stay the same (the number on the scale), you will notice a leaner body with less fat on it.

 

You need to eat regularly or your body's metabolism will go into starvation mode and will actually HOLD ON to your body fat and every calorie that you do eat. Your body is programmed to survive, so if you aren't eating, your metabolism will slow wayyyy down and will burn very few calories, defeating the whole purpose of your not eating.

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You need to eat regularly or your body's metabolism will go into starvation mode and will actually HOLD ON to your body fat and every calorie that you do eat. Your body is programmed to survive, so if you aren't eating, your metabolism will slow wayyyy down and will burn very few calories, defeating the whole purpose of your not eating.
Exactly...
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I think stepping up the exercise rather than cutting back eating more is a better idea.

 

I'm writing this from a slightly hypocritical place, but I do understand emotionally how you feel. Very much so. But-

 

May I also suggest looking into a therapist? It sounds like you may be bordering on an eating disorder. I say this without any judgement, as I've been struggling against anorexia for 15 years now (I'm 27). It's a horrible, HORRIBLE road to go down, and extremely hard to break away from. Lord knows I still haven't managed it.

 

Some of the things you describe are textbook symptoms of an eating disorder. Obsession with weight, severely restricting calorie intake to control weight, irrational fear of becoming fat, thinking you're "chubby" despite being underweight (under 110 for your height is typically considered underweight).

 

I'm not saying that you're anorexic, too, but I do think you may be at risk of going down that path someday. Your self esteem shouldn't be dictated by the numbers on the scale. That's not healthy, and I think talking it out with someone could really help you with your insecurity. Also, if you really want to try and maintain a healthy weight for yourself, a nutritionist would be your best bet. They'll help you come up with a meal plan that works best for your body.

 

Best of luck and take care!

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May I also suggest looking into a therapist? It sounds like you may be bordering on an eating disorder. I say this without any judgement, as I've been struggling against anorexia for 15 years now (I'm 27). It's a horrible, HORRIBLE road to go down, and extremely hard to break away from. Lord knows I still haven't managed it.

 

Some of the things you describe are textbook symptoms of an eating disorder. Obsession with weight, severely restricting calorie intake to control weight, irrational fear of becoming fat, thinking you're "chubby" despite being underweight (under 110 for your height is typically considered underweight).

Yes, yes, yes to this. In order to even consider changing your body in a healthy way, your current perceptions need to be firmly grounded in reality, and I too am concerned that from the things you say - weighing yourself a dozen times a day, an obsession with weight loss stemming from a fear of gaining weight - sound like your current image of yourself is distorted.

 

For example, do a google search on <female body mass index> with no quotes or brackets or anything. Look for an address at "halls.md" and get to their Body Mass Index calculator. Punch in your starting weight of 115 lbs, height of 64", and age of 24. This gives a BMI of 19.7, and shows that, at 115 lbs, you are around the 20th percentile of women your age - fully 80% of the 24 year-old female population weighs more than 115 lbs.

 

At your current weight of 110, (I interpret your post to mean you started at 115 and have lost 5 already...) you drop to the 15th percentile, and at your target of 105 lbs, you would be at the 10th percentile, a BMI of 18, and you would have edged into the underweight range for your age and height.

 

According to the calculator on the Cornell website, you have slipped into the underweight range for women, even at 110 lbs. Their calculator doesn't take age into account.

 

Anyway, it seems that you are essentially right on the border between underweight and normal for your height.

 

I am very concerned for you that your perceptions may be distorted; please don't take this as criticism, you wouldn't be the first one. I'm saying all this out of concern, not criticism. I'm impressed that you do have the wisdom to ask:

I think I just need people who I don't know and are hence, unbiased to tell me the truth.

...which tells me that at least you may be ready to consider that your perceptions and feelings are skewed. Please listen to objective advice (and I'm talking about a doctor, nutritionist, etc., not us schmucks on an internet forum...) and if it doesn't match what you already believe, please consider that you may need to do some work on your perceptions to remain healthy.

 

I think you should consider seeking a goal of having a healthy body, then seek out valid, objective information about what that means, and make that your quest. Right now you are focusing on misperceptions, a fear of what might happen in the future, and arbitrary numbers that you've made up yourself, and I think that those goals may be leading you astray.

 

Answer these questions - at least to yourself, if you don't want to answer them here:

 

  • In your current state of mind, will you really be at peace with your weight at your 105 target, or will you still be living in fear?
  • Are there people around you who are giving you signals about your weight, whether obvious or subtle, feeding these perceptions?
  • Even if people around you aren't giving off any perceptible signals, do you think they have opinions that you weigh too much?
  • Do you accept the reality that your weight is in the 15th to 20th percentile of women your age? Do you accept these numbers as valid?
  • Does knowing that you are in the 15th to 20th percentile change your current perception of your body? Or in spite of these numbers, do you still believe you should be lower?

I'm hitting you pretty hard here, not to make you feel bad, but to try to open the curtain a little bit on the reality of your situation. I strongly encourage you to get with a doctor, nutritionist, and/or a therapist as suggested, to try to align your impressions with reality, so you can embark on a reality-based quest for health - not just weight.

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My strategy is to lose weight now, to compensate for any weight gain in the future.

That is an ineffective strategy -- a bit like me trying to eat 24/7 for the next month so I won't feel hungry in the future; or getting divorced today so my spouse can't break my heart in the future. Life isn't designed to work like that.

 

Better to just take in the nutritious, wholesome foods your body needs on a daily basis, to function at maximum efficiency. With proper diet, exercise, sleep, fresh air and water, our bodies will work perfectly. Things only go wonky when we subject it to chronic stress (fear), weird diets and unhealthy habits with which it is NOT designed to cope.

 

I just read this about stretch marks: "The loss of skin's elastin and collagen is responsible for causing stretch marks. Anyone who experiences weight fluctuations [rapid weight gain OR loss] may develop them. Teens may develop them as the result of growth spurts and bodybuilders may suffer from them as well."

So again it seems to be more about maintaining a balanced, healthy lifestyle.

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lovestruck818
I know this seems like a really stupid question, and I know the answers to this will be no, no, and no! I think I just need people who I don't know and are hence, unbiased to tell me the truth.

 

I'm 24 yrs old, and I have a long history of insecurity and low self esteem issues. For a while now, I've been obsessing over my weight. I weight myself around a dozen times a day, and am trying to lose weight. I was last month, at 115 pounds and am 5 feet and 4 inches tall. In one month I've lost about 5 pounds and would like to lose more. I feel chubby and I've noticed stretch marks on the side of my stomach and it's making me nervous. Two years ago, I was 102-105 lbs, and I fear that I'll be one of those people who are skinny at youth, but turn fat later on.

 

My strategy is to lose weight now, to compensate for any weight gain in the future. I'm so self conscious about my weight that I won't wear tight tops that emphasize my belly. Is there a healthy way to lose weight? The last few days I tried eating as little as possible, but then I felt really weak, and I don't think I have the will power to go that far. This obsession with weight loss is a result of my fear of gaining weight, so mostly I'm just wanting to maintain my weight at 105 lbs.

 

Any advice?

 

People seem to think weight and height have no correlation with each other...we can't tell you if 115 is fat unless you tell us how tall you are. 115lbs on someone 5'7" would look a lot different on someone who is 5'1".

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People seem to think weight and height have no correlation with each other...we can't tell you if 115 is fat unless you tell us how tall you are. 115lbs on someone 5'7" would look a lot different on someone who is 5'1".

 

From her original post:

 

I'm 24 yrs old ... I was last month, at 115 pounds and am 5 feet and 4 inches tall.
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sunshinegirl

I really agree with jcrew and trimmer.

 

I had a borderline eating disorder that started in college and it lasted for 5-6 years. I very much remember the obsessions with food and weighing myself and the self-recrimination and body-hatred I carried around with me. It was a very heavy burden to bear and I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

 

It's for that reason that I really really encourage you to seek a counselor to help you deal with your thought patterns. My guess is that you would prefer to live a life free of the dozen weigh-ins per day and without the constant worry and fear about what your body looks like. Focusing on some new diet or exercise plan will only feed your current thought processes, which are just so painful and joy-robbing. I remember it well and am so thankful I am no longer prisoner to those thoughts.

 

So again, I encourage you to tackle this thing at its roots, which lie in your head and not in what you put in your mouth.

 

Best wishes.

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Why don't you try exercising instead of dieting and "trying to lose weight". You will feel a million times better, you will be healthier and your boost of metabolism will help insure you don't "pack on the pounds later.

 

Seriously, people are always like "I want to lose weight, what can I do etc, etc" but seriously, exercising is the BEST thing and it works every time, it really is NO FAIL!

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StartingOver07

This sounds like an eating disorder in the making.

 

That said, you could have a high percentage of bodyfat but not be overweight. The way to reduce bodyfat is to increase muscle mass. So try lifting weights as this will change your body composition -- less flab, firm abs, etc. -- without causing you to lose weight.

 

If you lose weight at your current height, you are likely to just lose muscle mass, which will result in a lighter but flabbier you, which I doubt is what you are after.

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I Luv the Chariot OH

Not trying to be mean, but it sounds like you just made this post for attention (since apparently you already knew what everyone was going to say). For someone 5'4" and 115, your bmi is 19.7, and underweight is just over a point away from that. 105 is definitely underweight, and not healthy for you. Please seek health counseling.

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I weigh about 10 lbs more than you and I'm at the same height and lots of people tell me how small I am.

 

Be very, very careful. My mother has battled anorexia/bulimia her entire life. It's not a good way to live your life and it causes a long list of health problems. It's not worth it. Eat healthy and don't weigh yourself!

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i havn't read much of this thread, so this comment is based off up just reading the topic.

 

in my own honest opinion, and many feel the same way, a lot of men would prefer a lady who was X pounds overweight, then X pounds underweight.

 

to tell you the truth, i shouldn't even consider it an over/under weight. all i can tell you is weight is last thing i consider in a lady. you have to think more deeply then just appearance. i can tell you right now that i'm no where near the average attractive man, but where i may lack in physical appearance, i make up 2 fold in personality and confidence.

 

think outside the box a bit, and things will become clearer.

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You are headed on a downward spiral, and only you have the power to stop it. I am 5'5 at 117lbs and NEVER have I been called fat so I am sure you are not either.

 

The way you are going about losing weight, is just going to make you gain twice as much in the long run.

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littlemisslj
I know this seems like a really stupid question, and I know the answers to this will be no, no, and no! I think I just need people who I don't know and are hence, unbiased to tell me the truth.

 

I'm 24 yrs old, and I have a long history of insecurity and low self esteem issues. For a while now, I've been obsessing over my weight. I weight myself around a dozen times a day, and am trying to lose weight. I was last month, at 115 pounds and am 5 feet and 4 inches tall. In one month I've lost about 5 pounds and would like to lose more. I feel chubby and I've noticed stretch marks on the side of my stomach and it's making me nervous. Two years ago, I was 102-105 lbs, and I fear that I'll be one of those people who are skinny at youth, but turn fat later on.

 

My strategy is to lose weight now, to compensate for any weight gain in the future. I'm so self conscious about my weight that I won't wear tight tops that emphasize my belly. Is there a healthy way to lose weight? The last few days I tried eating as little as possible, but then I felt really weak, and I don't think I have the will power to go that far. This obsession with weight loss is a result of my fear of gaining weight, so mostly I'm just wanting to maintain my weight at 105 lbs.

 

Any advice?

Hey im too 5ft 4 and weigh 10 stone 10... thats 150 lbs

Everyone says oh your fine your fine but i know im not i dont look fat i have a little belly but i know im overweight. I dont know how to loose the weight and have no stain power i'd like to loose 24 pounds by January. Making me 8 stone 10.A new year new start... I cant seem to figure out a plan and its making me very upset ive tried sensible dieting but it doesn't work I NEED HELP!! ive tried stupid diet those fad ones and i was wondering if theres any help you can give me

Thans alot LJ

xx

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  • 1 month later...
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thanks, everyone for your concern. I stopped checking up on this thread after reading the first few responses, because I thought that the thread had died off.

 

I Luv the Chariot OH, I didn't post just to get attention, because for the most part, I don't spend too much time on internet forums, but I can understand why you would think that. Intellectually, I know I'm not fat, but I still think about my weight too much despite knowing that. It doesn't make sense.

 

Since my first post, I've gone back to my normal eating habits, but I still am conscious of what I am eating and how much of it. I still weight myself a few times a day, and I still have thoughts of wanting to be thinner. I guess I think somehow I'll be happier with myself if I was just 5 pounds thinner. I don't have the discipline to do anything about it other than just not eat fattening foods; I don't exercise excessively, so it's just a mental issue, of thinking about my weight too much. I don't think I'm abnormal, as most women obsess about their weight to a degree.

 

I did go for counseling last year, and I felt better for a while, but now I think I may have to go back for long term counseling. The reason why I think the counseling didn't really work the first time, is that I wanted to please my counselor who was essentially an intern doing her doctorate and I wanted her to do well and feel like she succeeded with me, so I convinced myself and her that I was feeling better after 4 months.

 

The obsession with my weight falls into my general obsession with my appearance, and when I told my therapist/counselor last year about my disgust over my appearance, she had trouble convincing me that I was wrong, and it kind of dead-ended from there.

 

I don't know... these kind of posts must be frustrating for others who read them, because they may come off as lame attempts at attention. It's probably better if I told these things to a professional!

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