LoveShack.org Community Forums

Reload this Page LoveShack.org Community Forums > Mind, Body & Soul > Addiction & Recovery

Using our old videos...


Addiction & Recovery Recognizing, conquering, and coping with addictions, substance abuse & dependence.

Like Tree2Likes
 
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 23rd January 2018, 5:00 PM   #1
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2017
Posts: 16
Red face Using our old videos...

I've seriously debated sharing this on here for weeks. I'm going to be 100% forward with this topic, and I'll be honest I'm embarrassed to do so, as well as deeply saddened I feel the need to. Any replies or insight.. I just ask that I not be condemned or made fun of, what I'm doing is difficult enough.. here goes.

My ex and I broke up in May of 2017. That's when she moved out. After 3 years of being together. We kept seeing each other in a hot and cold fashion up until November. We still texted, talked, argued, sexted and slept with each other.

December 1st she basically just gave up. Cold. Done. We had a final goodbye and we haven't spoken since. She's blocked me on all methods of communication.

So here's why I'm writing this.. I haven't let go. I miss her. So damn much that it sickens me. I've grieved and cried for weeks, faked it and gone on dates with other girls, even slept with a couple of them, but I'm still stuck on her ..she was my all. We were best friends. We lived together for over 2 years and during our relationship we made a lot of private videos and pictures. I've saved every single sext photo she's ever sent me in my cloud storage.
I use masturbation as a coping high. I'm embarrassed to say it but I need insight here so please be kind.
I'm hurting myself I know. It's one thing to watch pornography online, but I stay glued to our old videos. The worst part is... I sometimes cry after I orgasm to them. Like I said, I'm completely embarrassed.

I feel broken. I'm hurting myself and I know I'm in some weird stage of denial. She doesn't want me or miss me, and it kills me. I masturbate religiously after work and before bed. Sometimes at work and public places...its like I truly need the high to cope. I can't keep doing this..

Any thoughts on how I can break this pattern and grow into a healthier man?
SouthernPine766 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd January 2018, 7:17 PM   #2
Established Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 10,911
Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthernPine766 View Post
Any thoughts on how I can break this pattern and grow into a healthier man?
Pretty sure this isn't what you want to hear, but the first thing I'd do would be to delete/destroy the videos and sexts. A couple good reasons - it's the honorable thing to do and your current obsession with them is preventing you from moving forward.

And then I'd bury myself in something - work, hobbies and/or exercise, anything to occupy my mind and body.

Your wounds are still fresh. Not sure how continuing to pour salt in them helps you. Keep posting...

Mr. Lucky
__________________
"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for." - Epicurus
Mr. Lucky is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 23rd January 2018, 8:40 PM   #3
Established Member
 
Happy Lemming's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2018
Location: Sunny Southwest
Posts: 693
Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthernPine766 View Post
The worst part is... I sometimes cry after I orgasm to them.
In addition to what was posted above, I would be worried that
'crying after orgasm" may become normal to your brain. Do you really want to cry after you orgasm once you are with someone new?? I hate to think that this could become a habit.

I'd also hate to see you get caught at work or worse in public. Is it a sex crime to be doing that in public, where you live??
__________________
All of my posts are my opinion based on my own experiences. Feel Free to disagree with me, this rodent has thick skin.
Happy Lemming is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th March 2018, 7:53 PM   #4
Established Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Posts: 567
Quote:
Originally Posted by SouthernPine766 View Post
I've seriously debated sharing this on here for weeks. I'm going to be 100% forward with this topic, and I'll be honest I'm embarrassed to do so, as well as deeply saddened I feel the need to. Any replies or insight.. I just ask that I not be condemned or made fun of, what I'm doing is difficult enough.. here goes.

My ex and I broke up in May of 2017. That's when she moved out. After 3 years of being together. We kept seeing each other in a hot and cold fashion up until November. We still texted, talked, argued, sexted and slept with each other.

December 1st she basically just gave up. Cold. Done. We had a final goodbye and we haven't spoken since. She's blocked me on all methods of communication.

So here's why I'm writing this.. I haven't let go. I miss her. So damn much that it sickens me. I've grieved and cried for weeks, faked it and gone on dates with other girls, even slept with a couple of them, but I'm still stuck on her ..she was my all. We were best friends. We lived together for over 2 years and during our relationship we made a lot of private videos and pictures. I've saved every single sext photo she's ever sent me in my cloud storage.
I use masturbation as a coping high. I'm embarrassed to say it but I need insight here so please be kind.
I'm hurting myself I know. It's one thing to watch pornography online, but I stay glued to our old videos. The worst part is... I sometimes cry after I orgasm to them. Like I said, I'm completely embarrassed.

I feel broken. I'm hurting myself and I know I'm in some weird stage of denial. She doesn't want me or miss me, and it kills me. I masturbate religiously after work and before bed. Sometimes at work and public places...its like I truly need the high to cope. I can't keep doing this..

Any thoughts on how I can break this pattern and grow into a healthier man?
If it's a huge problem. Try not to watch old vids. Personally sometimes I watch videos my exes and me did cause they are hot.

It was a good time in my life. In our 20s. Id regret it if I deleted that part of my history.

I used to feel bad about it. I really don't care now.

Im single. If I had a relationship and it was great I may delete them. Good luck
health is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11th March 2018, 9:20 PM   #5
Established Member
 
CautiouslyOptimistic's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2017
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 4,247
I'd destroy them simply out of respect for your ex. When my exH and I were splitting, I destroyed the ONE video we had made together. He was SO angry with me when he found out....I was like, "ew! Why would you want to keep that!???" I did NOT want him to have that in his possession!

I think you are violating your ex every time you watch the videos/look at the pics, to be honest.
CautiouslyOptimistic is offline   Reply With Quote
 

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

 

Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
LDR Videos Billca8 Long-Distance Relationships 4 14th September 2011 4:29 AM
Making videos? SophieA Long-Distance Relationships 32 31st May 2009 8:00 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 3:09 AM.

Please note: The suggestions and advice offered on this web site are opinions only and are not to be used in the place of professional psychological counseling or medical advice. If you or someone close to you is currently in crisis or in an emergency situation, contact your local law enforcement agency or emergency number.


Copyright © 1997-2018 LoveShack.org. All Rights Reserved.