CutiePy Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 What do you do when after a year of being clean (3 years of smoking crack) a person starts smoking again. This person fell 2 and claims they'll never do it again! My questions are: 1) what would make someone relapse after such a long time? 2) What is the chance they will be able to continue on without falling again and will actually be able to live a clean and sober life? (they claim they really want to w/ all their hear and soul) 3) What can be done to help this person not to fall again? ALL sugestions are needed thanks for your time! Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 How did they quit before? What kind of counseling or program were they in? Go to that source (or other rehab sources in your area) for more information. Addictions are tricky things. Just because someone stops using doesn't mean they aren't still an addict. I quit smoking but there are still times when I want a cig and if I ever weaken and have one again, I know I'll be a regular smoker again. I would think its even more difficult with crack. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 1) what would make someone relapse after such a long time? Any number of reasons. Addictive Personality. Inability to deal with emotional stress without self-medicating. Lack of effective support system. Social influences (still hanging with same crowd). Availability...and the old demon that tells them "This time I know better and I can control it." The same thing they told themselves when they first started using for recreation. 90% percent (may be higher now) of all recovered addicts will relapse. That's why they call it "recovery" and not a "cure." 2) What is the chance they will be able to continue on without falling again and will actually be able to live a clean and sober life? None. Not unless they re-enter the program and start all over again. The more times someone relapses, the less chance they have of staying clean for good. 3) What can be done to help this person not to fall again? Unless you are a trained professional...very little. The key is to continue to encourage them to seek treatment. Support them in their recovery...but don't "enable" their addiction. (e.i: don't hang out with them while they're getting high, take them in or loan them money) You may have to make a strong stand and dis-associate yourself all together...unless they are a family member. They don't call it "tough love" for nothing. So sorry to hear that you are having to experience this first hand. I don't know of one single person today who hasn't been effected in some what by the tragedy of addiction...whether it be themselves or someone they care about. Stay strong! Link to post Share on other sites
CutiePy Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 This person has not had any kind of treatment and actually stopped on their own, I realize that they said they were still addicted, meaning also they thought about it and were strong enough to not to do it and didn't want that kind of life again. I encouraged them to seek treatment and they absolutely refused! They don't want any type of that kind of record on their insurance *medicaid* and they are afraid of anyone finding out. I know rehab would make the best results but you can't force someone who isn't willing to go, any other suggestions on how they can get back on their feet like before but this time stay there? Anyone else been through this? Link to post Share on other sites
CutiePy Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 EnigmaXOXO... This is a family member, my sister in fact, she is 23 and had been in a bad marriage. Her ex got her smoking and then she left him and smoked about another year once or so a month then eventually with all of our support she stopped all together, got into another "good" relationship, he loves her a lot but tends to argue and swear she's cheating which I believe caused her a lot of undue stress! Recently this month in fact she ran into someone who she used to get it from and decided that she could handle doing it once more, she of course ended up doing it once again last week but now swears, crying, that she's done and won't do it again ever because she hates the way it feels! I can't just leave her alone and the sad thing is she is always alone when she does it so it's not a "crowd" thing which would be a little easier to understand. None of us can figure out what to do except support her and encourage her to get help but she won't, she says she's going to be strong enough to do it on her own, no one would give her money knowing this would cause even more temptation! My family and her BF are in turmoil wanting to believe she'll be ok but also knowing the chance is great that she may not be! I guess I was kind of hoping that through all this there would be a chance she could come out clean again since she claims she doesn't want to do it anymore, she is about to apply for gastric bypass surgery which is a serious surgery that requires her to be clean 6 months, she's been big most of her life and I know that's hard on her too. She is the only one of us who's had to deal with this issue and anyway I'm also afraid if she doesn't get it together she will lose her chance at this life changing surgery! She says that is enough motivation and looking in her eyes I believe her but I guess I needed some where to vent of lots of POV's on this issue! Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 Kicking an addiction on your own is tough. She got "lucky" the first time, but only time will tell if she can do it again. Apparently, she has a good support system in place with her family. But because she hasn't received the "psychological" help she would get through counciling if she had entered a program, she still doesn't have the tools she needs to deal with her underlying problems. If she were underage (17 or younger) your parents could have her forced into treatment. But because she is an adult, nothing short of a court order will get her there if she doesn't want to go on her own. The toxicology test run by the doctor performing her surgery should alert them to any recent drug use. However, it might be in your family's best interest to make her doctor aware of her addiction or occasional use before hand so they know what to look for in advance. FORGET her embarrassment...stepping up may just save her life if she isn't in the mind-frame to think rationally for herself. I would also suggest you contact a drug program facility in your area. Perhaps someone there would be able to give you and your family some good advice as to how to deal with your situation. You could do this anonymously without her even knowing. The people there would be more than happy to give you some guidance, suggestions and support. Link to post Share on other sites
CutiePy Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 Once again thanks for your replies! I am going to do some research about out patient programs here in our area! She hasn't been approved for the surgery, she can't apply until October so if she does keep it together it shouldn't be much of an issue there! I know that she needs coping tools within herself to get through her cravings and "phenings" and I've spoken to the rest of our family and we've all agreed that we will go into therapy (family therapy) or any thing we can do to help her along with her recovery! I feel in my heart she'll get better but it won't be easy! Too bad there isn't a good spiritual healer around here! hahaha! Again thanks for all your help. Link to post Share on other sites
EnigmaXOXO Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 I've spoken to the rest of our family and we've all agreed that we will go into therapy (family therapy) or any thing we can do to help her along with her recovery! Educating yourselves on the subject of addictions and getting help with "coping" is your absolute best recourse. Believe me, therapy will help your family maintain their sanity as well! Sometimes, when we're so busy supporting someone else, we forget we need some backup as well. Don't ever lose "hope." Just be prepared for the potentially l-o-n-g battle ahead. You're not alone, CutiePy. My daughter has been clean now for eight months since her third relapse (Heroine). I die a little inside each time she has to re-enter the treatment facility, but each time she comes to the surface it sparks hope renewed. Each day she is clean is a blessing to me, but I never, ever take one single moment for granted. If only love was enough to fix the world...there'd be no pain or sorrow, eh? Too bad there isn't a good spiritual healer around here! hahaha! Look inside. You might be amazed at what you find... Link to post Share on other sites
CutiePy Posted June 21, 2004 Share Posted June 21, 2004 I'm sorry to hear about your daughter but also glad to her she is clean! I kind of figured that it would be a long battle but then again it didn't just take her a day to get addicted! Thanks again for your encouraging words and I wish you the best with your daughter as well! Take care! Link to post Share on other sites
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