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Am I headed down that same path?


frischi

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I made a post to anothers problem and I would like to share that here and then ask my question.

 

Being a survivor of physical and sexual abuse as a child I deal with it all the time as I go through life. It has been decades since, but it is always there. Through out life I have struggled with my own issues about abuse towards others because of what I went through. But, I will not let that control me. I am not like the person who abused me and I will not let them control who I am today.

Counseling is the best way to go. Trying to deal with it alone is a sure fire way to go down in flames and go down hard. Facing it is important and excepting the fact that you were abused because of someone elses insecurities and mental instability is essential to getting on that road to sanity and mental wellness.

I was abused sexually by a family member and also a family friend for 10 yrs.. I was physically abused by a family member for 15 yrs. I know what is feels like and I know where your coming from. Abuse comes in many forms, but they all have the same results. And that is that we deal with it for the rest of our lives and it is how we deal with it that secures a healthy future and a lifetime of happiness with whom ever we find to spend it with.

 

That being said I will then pose my question. I find my self dwelling on issues that happened decades ago. And now I find that I have an anger problem and I am petrified that I will begin to lash out not only verbally but physically. I know that this is a by product of what I suffered and I fear the worst may happen. I have been to counseling but I think it was more of a chat session and not a counseling session. But I have thought of all the excuses why this is not my fault and this is not where I am going in life. But yet, I cannot get rid of the fear that it may happen. I have never layed hand on my wife or children in anger. And I never will! Where do these feeling come from and what is the cause?

Has anyone ever been there before?

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